Forget About Me

“Rukia”

Rukia turned away from the voice. “I don’t want to hear it Renji, I just don’t want to hear it”.

She could hear his defeated sigh, but it only increased her inability to sense anything happening around her. The stool beside the table scraped on her marble floor and was placed by her side near the window. Renji’s hand came to rest upon her shoulder but she couldn’t feel its warmth or the dead weight upon her.

“Rukia- I know you want to be alone, but I can’t let you mourn over him anymore. You’ve cried enough for him ok, you’ve cried enough. No more tears, no regrets, just-”. But Rukia had had enough of what he had to say. He didn’t understand the feeling of the freezing hell clouding her mind. No one did.

“Shut up” she whispered. But Renji ignored her once again, speaking over her like a mother disciplining her child.

“Don’t waste your time on that stupid fuck-.” He babbled on. And she didn’t know why but at that moment she blew.

“SHUT UP!”

Her chair fell and the cup of tea she was drinking fell on the table, dripping on the floor to make an odd sort of sound.

The scary silence only lasted seconds, and although she knew she didn’t have a clock that ticked, it felt like the silence went on ticking in her mind.

Her fingers gripped the wooden table; her dull nails scraping little fragments in her nails. Her little breaths were pants and she felt like she didn’t have control over what she would do. She was sorry she had said it so harsh and with so much anger, but could not allow Renji to tell her lies or truths. She didn’t want to believe him.

Renji stood up, the stool making a screeching sound that made her wince at the sound. He turned his back to her, but she couldn’t face him now. Later she thought, later.

Renji began walking to the door, but stopped near the arch, then began to search in his pocket for something. Rukia narrowed her eyes out of the corner of her eyes and watched him curiously. After a few moments he stopped and pulled out a tiny square box then turned right back to her. When he was just one breath away from her she snapped her head to the side and feigned indifference, but immediately regretted it when she saw the look on his face. His warm hand cupped her tiny ones and she forced herself not to flinch from his touch. The tiny box sat in her palm; a small weight she knew would be inside.

When she looked up, she stared into two flaming maroon eyes and felt even more ashamed at her actions. Never looking away from her he opened the box for her and turned it to her to see.

She knew what it was, anticipated it, but when she opened it she felt like a complete fool. Tiny little raindrops materialized from her eyes, that she had to turn her head to wipe them away.

Renji held her hand and all she could think was that she couldn’t do this. She didn’t want this. Not with him. Not like this.

“Renji” she began but he cut her off with a finger to her lip and she obeyed.

“Rukia” He began sheepishly. “You know that I’ve… that I’ve loved you all along, and I know you love Ichigo, but I don’t think he deserves you. You deserve someone who will love you and care for you. I want to be that kind of guy. I can be that guy for you, just give me a chance. A chance to prove to you that I love you without so many words involved. Will you marry me?”


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“Ring, Ring, Ring!!!!!”

Rukia shot up. Oh my Kami, she thought. Sweat trickled down her eyebrow and down the corners of her lips but she paid no mind to it. Lying back down, she placed her hand in her heart and felt its frantic pulse begin to slow down. Oh Kami she thought again to herself.

How many nights did she dream about what happened that day. What was she going to do now? One glance at her hand and she could feel the regret radiating off of her.

If she were in a different situation she would have admired the small round cut diamond. It’s simple elegance made her feel like a princess. She laughed, and then moaned in agony as she hit her head on the headboard. Funny she thought, how one little piece of jewelry could mean so much in such a little thing that could make girls so wildly in love with a man. Something so small that told her that he loved her for eternity and more, that he owned her as much as she owned him, that they would spend the rest of their lives waking up to each.

She groaned in her head. Rolling on her side and watched as the numbers on her alarm clock look back at her in a red light, 3:45. She needed to sleep.


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Ichigo watched as three little girls played tag with a red headed boy, who seemed to only want to be as far away from them as possible and laughed at his tactics. The young life he thought then ran his hands through his unusually bright orange hair then rested his hands on his knees then pushed to stand straight. He couldn’t concentrate here of all places. Walking away, he sighed the park had always brought him joy, but now left a burden with questions and answers he knew he had to tell her. He didn’t want to tell her the truth. The ugly truth.

He had to tell her.


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Rukia stepped onto the tiny platform surrounded by mirrors and looked at herself in disgust and remorse. The saleswoman plopped something on her head and she found herself in a long lace veil, making her so much more innocent than she wanted. She wasn’t a virgin anymore, so what was the point of having a white dress. Rukia looked down and gripped the silky material between her fingers, a glitter caught her eye and she found herself staring at that little gem on her finger. Looking up at the mirror, she watched as her face frowned at the dress and the veil and just the whole concept of it. Her shoulders slumped at that comment. How could she be so pessimistic, every girl in her right mind would be crying in shear joy. She dreaded it, more so than she thought.

“Kuchiki-san! You look so beautiful” a voice squeaked out with lots of energy, her feminine voice carrying around the whole shop to make shoppers stop and stare at her, but the girl didn’t seem to frown at that thought and circled Rukia like a hyper little girl, saying how every single thing she wore made her look like a real princess.

Rukia frowned even more at that. She hated the dress, she hated the veil, she hated that she had to do this. Oohs and Aahs were brought to her ear and she watched as Renji’s mother and grandmother smiled in happiness at the dress, completely ignoring her sour mood.

She had gotten herself dragged out of her home and thrown into dozens of wedding gown shops. All of the dresses seemed so out there. Too much sparkles or too much puff. It wasn’t her at all and hated it even more because it looked so prom dressy. She didn’t want to look like a princess, because she obviously didn’t feel like that at the moment at all. Unless the princess was brought into a forced marriage but Rukia couldn’t say that.

She had consented to it and therefore it wasn’t forced, but a marriage without love was never good. If she wanted she could just tell Renji that the marriage was off and that she just couldn’t marry him, but she couldn’t do it, not only because it would break his heart but she just couldn’t afford to loose her shoulder to lean on. She needed him.

Stepping down she let herself into the dressing room and came back out with her casual clothes back on.

Frowning at her empty hands, Renji’s mom groaned in expiration and left the store with her mother in tow for some tea. Scowling at their mood, she began to really look around.

Many of the gowns were puffy and ended at the ankle, but she found that idea very ugly. She wanted to look beautiful no matter how much she wanted or didn’t want to get married, and she definitely wasn’t going to look pretty if she was dressed in a gown that made her look like a fattened cupcake.

Scanning every isle, she found herself becoming attached to an off white gown that hung off the shoulders and cascaded down to the flour like creamy milk. There were no nonsense of flowers on it but a silky design that enhanced her boson without making her look as if she was stuffing. Grabbing it, she walked into the fitting room already knowing somehow that she was going to love it.

Stepping onto the platform, she was surprised to find that she looked pretty in it. More so than she felt. Her pale skin seemed to lighten the dress and give off a very nice cream color. Turning around, she watched as the back was cut deep and showed her entire lower back and gave a reasonable plump to her flat butt. Smiling, she twirled around and let the feeling of the soft texture rub along her body. This was the dress that she wanted to get married in. No tiaras, no veils and the fact that it wasn’t white made her feel much better than lying that she was completely pure.

Brushing her bangs to the side she wondered what it would be like to be carried by Ichigo. SMACK. Rukia rubbed her sore cheek and sighed at herself. Good god now I’m hurting myself to forget about him she thought warily. Smoothing down the dress, she turned around to ask Orihime if she thought the dress made her look funny but stopped midsentence.

The door opened with a quick beep and Rukia watched in horror when she realized whom it was.

Quickly turning around, she hoped he didn’t see, but obviously he had with the help of Orihime. “Kurasaki-san!” Orihime screamed running up to give him a bright smile and a quick hug oblivious to the fact that he was not listening to her at all. Her adulation towards him making her partly jealous but she shook it away.


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He knew it was a very bad idea to come but he had to tell her what happened. It didn’t even matter now that he knew she was going to get married, because he wanted to be selfish and have her all to himself. It even didn’t matter the fact that she never picked up her cell or returned his calls and had went even further to move into Renji’s mothers house to stay away from him if he ever decided to come by.

Sneaking a glance to the three-way mirror, she watched as he watched her. Kami she thought. How could he still be so beautiful? So handsomely beautiful that stole the breath out of mouth. After knowing him for the thirteen years of her life, didn’t stop the obsession of looking at him. After all that hurt and darkness, he was still her prince, her savior no matter what had happened. And despite her efforts to tell her mind otherwise she still had butterflies whenever he was around that had nothing to do with coincidence.

“You look beautiful” His voice held a husky tone that made her shiver, but she couldn’t let that show. Looking at herself again she couldn’t help but believe him. But that wouldn’t change the matter at hand. Even though her mind wandered back when they were at the park and he whispered to her that she was his.

Trying to sound brave, she pretended it didn’t matter to her that he was here after she had gone through so much trouble to get away from the beautiful disaster he formed for them. Indifference towards him.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, but her voice betrayed her. Instead of indifference, it sounded like a lost little girl without her parents. At her voice Orihime seemed to find the atmosphere full of tension and ran out the door with an excuse to buy pastries for Kurasaki-san. The ringing bell ringing loud and strong in a silent brides shop. She wondered where the other customers went.

He looked squeamish. She’d never seen him like that. Ichigo who had so much energy and an intimidating aura that followed him like a second skin. He looked nervous, very much in fact. Without even thinking about she smiled in her mind. She did that to him. She made him nervous, and even though she knew she should not be even thinking about it, she wanted him to tell her, she wanted to know.

“I’m…Kami this is harder than I thought. I just. ….I wanted to tell you that- I’m sorry”. It all came out in juggled words despite its jagged rhythm but she heard him, understood him the way others couldn’t.

He scratched his head and kept looking at his shoes as if they were made out of gold, she knew this even though she never turned around to look at him; she could see him reflecting through the mirror.

But what he had said brought on a fury she did not know she held. Her heart quenched, and tore apart in little pieces. And it burned, burned to know that he regretted what she loved most. How could he say that to her. Say those words that were meant to bring comfort but all it brought was a regret he couldn’t hold in. How could he tell her sorry for what happened five years ago? Wasn’t it as beautiful and heart stopping as it was for her? Was he sorry that he had played her like a little kitty to a ball of yarn? Kami she thought, how he could he be this beautiful disaster, bringing on disaster after disaster to her.

Turning around she found her vision blinded by the torrid of tears falling down her face. Her hair whipping her face. Swiping the tears away she soon found out that with no ado that it was just replaced by more and more tears that began to fall down her cheek.

“Sorry?” She asked him, her hair falling around her face. “Sorry that you had to tell me that you didn’t mean to hurt me and that it was all a game to you.” She said after a long pause. Looking up at him, she knew she looked hallow because when he looked at her, his face was struck up in shock and horror about what she had said.

She looked at him now. Really looked at him and found that despite him being beautiful to her, he looked hell of a mess. His hair seemed more tussled than ever and the endless dark bags under his eyes proved the endless nights of sleep he had endured. Good she thought, but not really meaning it.

Looking at him in the eyes, she watched as his chocolate brown eyes swirled around with molten red. Fiery eyes for a passionate boy she thought before continuing. “Are you sorry for making love to me that night a-….

Before she could even finish that sentence she found herself crushed into his strong lean arms and despite being totally corny and cliché she found that she felt like his arms around her were what she was missing for so long.

“Ichigo...” She started but he shut her up, his head buried into her neck breathing small puffs that made her shiver. “Don’t,” He said.

“Don’t even say that. Is that what you think I’m saying sorry for, because if you are than your more of a baka than I thought” He said with a teasing note and though in this position she shouldn’t have done it but she had and smiled against her head. Even at times like this could he make her into a pile of happy goo.

“I am sorry though,” He continued “ But not for the things you’re thinking about now.”

He pulled away but only an arms length. His torturous rugged arms held her tightly at her waist and ran up and down her spine. All power and raw emotion. She couldn’t even think straight even though she knew this conversation could change her life forever.

His eyes held so much genuine sadness and truth that she began to believe him.

“I’m sorry I left you that day five years ago”

He stared at her in shock and she wondered why until she felt it roll off her cheek. One single tear. Pulling his hand from waist he brushed it away, she hoped he didn’t know by the look on her face that she just wanted to lean into his touch and forget about everything that happened.

“Dammit” He cursed at the floor. “How come I always seem to make you cry, god maybe Renji was right”? He looked away form her in thought and she desperately wanted to tell him NO. Don’t listen to Renji. But she didn’t and she hated the fact that she didn’t.

Cupping his cheek, she wondered how it could be soft, but hard at the same time, and look urgently into his eyes. “Tell me” She begged and she knew this side of her surprised him. She never begged for anything and the fact that she begged meant that she was letting herself be vulnerable to him once again.

The silence was unbearable. The horrible image of Ichigo taunting her came up in her mind and she swore to god that it wasn’t real. After a long period of time, he spoke. His voice a weak one that she never heard since he was young and for the same reason. There were only two women in his life that could do this to him.

“I found my mom,” He whispered sadly and although he stood there with no emotions crossing his face, Rukia knew that he was hurting, his shoulders began to shake and she knew that he was forcing himself to stay strong for his family, but she couldn’t do anything but stand there in shock. Ichigo… found his mother?