Chapter 7 – Fighting as Foreplay
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“I can’t believe you actually did it,” an awestruck Yoruichi whispered.
The meeting room had been eerily silent from the moment Nemu started the video; everyone savoring the sight of a naked Byakuya. All save for one. Rukia was horrified. She slapped her hands over her eyes in an attempt to block out the images, but she was promptly attacked by an overzealous Kukaku.
“You better watch this,” she declared while pinning Rukia’s arms to her side.
The Kuchiki princess squeezed her eyes shut and wished she could close her ears as well. Nel’s blissful moans would haunt her for the rest of her life. She’d been able to watch up until the moment her brother’s head disappeared between the former Espada’s legs. Whatever was happening now sounded a hundred times worse, and her imagination was already starting to paint some rather scandalous pictures.
“Oh come on Rukia, open your eyes,” Yoruichi leaned over to whisper, unable to take her own off the screen.
The girl scrunched her face up even more and shook her head vigorously.
“He’s not even your real brother,” Kukaku complained with a laugh. “You can’t possibly have been living with him all this time and never once wanted some ‘brotherly love’. It’s just not sane.”
Rukia screeched as she struggled in Kukaku’s freakishly strong grasp.
“Oh Rukia, look! It’s Chappy,” Rangiku yelled.
Rukia’s eyes shot open. “Where…? I mean…SHIT,” she yelled as Kukaku seized her eyelids. Had she really fallen for such a stupid trick? She tried to pry the woman’s hand from her face but Kukaku wouldn’t have it.
“Someone grab her arms,” the one-armed woman yelled.
Immediately, Rukia’s limbs were pinned to her sides again. Straining to see who the culprit was made her eyes hurt. Kukaku was completely restricting her movement.
“Sorry Rukia,” came a small apologetic voice from beside her. Orihime!
“You traiteeAAHHH!” Rukia screamed in horror as she unwillingly watched her brother stuff Nel like a turkey.
“Rukia be quiet, I can’t hear,” Orihime whispered. The raven haired girl turned up her nose and tried to face her friend, but Kukaku jerked her head back, pulling her eyes open even wider in the process.
Her already large orbs now looked massive, and Orihime couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of her friend’s distorted face.
“Let go of me,” Rukia yelled. “My eyes are going to pop out if you pull any harder.”
“Shut up and maybe I will,” Kukaku retorted.
Rukia groaned, but reluctantly complied, attempting to look as relaxed as she could under the circumstances.
“Orihime, you can let go now. I’m not going to do anything,” she told her former friend.
The orange haired human looked to see if it was okay. The Shiba clan leader nodded. Orihime slowly loosened her grip on Rukia and then cautiously backed away. When she was safely in her seat, Kukaku followed suit by releasing Rukia’s eyes. The smaller women mumbled something incoherently.
“What was that?” Kukaku snapped.
“Nothing! Can you leave me alone?”
Not a second after the words left her mouth, she found herself falling forward out of her chair, almost hitting the floor. Kukaku had wacked her in the back of the head…hard. She turned around just in time to see the smug grin on her tormentor’s face as she took a seat directly behind her. Rukia was able to fight back the urge to pounce on the older and stronger woman mostly because she had no desire to die, but also because she knew she was being childish. Byakuya was not her real brother. A blind woman could see his appeal. For some reason she just couldn’t help but feel like she was betraying the sister she never knew.
She sighed, risking a glance up at the screen and flinching when she saw Nel hanging from her brother’s groin like a Christmas ornament. Surprisingly she wasn’t completely appalled, which disgusted her even more. Then just like that, it was over. Byakuya released Nel’s hips allowing her to fall in a heap on the floor and, to everyone’s surprise, he lay down beside her.
Nemu stood to shut off the video, but was stopped by Nel. “Wait. You haven’t seen the best part.”
Nemu stared at her blankly for a moment before lowering herself back into her seat. Seconds turned to minutes as everyone calmly waited for something…anything to happen.
“Nel what the fuck? You want us to watch you sleep?” Kukaku yelled breaking the silence.
“Shhhhhh, it’s coming I swear.”
Kukaku huffed and slouched down in her chair, but remained quiet, until Byakuya finally began to stir. The women watched with bated breath as the captain of the sixth division got to his feet and turned looking down at Nel with an expression of complete arrogance.
‘Again?’
‘Uhh, you want to?’
Byakuya’s hand moved slowly to the base of his hardening cock and Rukia heard more than one lustful moan. She rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the fact that her gaze had also followed his hand. ‘Something is wrong with me.’ she thought.
‘My pride demands it.’
There was a moment where time seemed to stand still. No one breathed or even blinked. Was this real? Had that just happened? The grin on Nel’s face told everyone that they were not hallucinating.
Suprisingly Sui-Feng was the first to speak. “My pride demands it?” The tiny commander of the stealth forces looked around at the faces of her ‘sisters’ who all seemed just as dumbfounded as herself. ”My pride demands it?” she repeated again, her voice heavy with disbelief. She then threw back her head and positively screamed with laughter. “BWAAAAAHA-HA-HA-HAAAH!”
Rukia was afraid, very afraid. Her brother was having sex with Arrancar. Sui-Feng, the biggest bitch in the Seireitei, was laughing. There was an insane one-armed woman sitting behind her ready to rip her eyelids off if she made one false move, and Orihime, the nicest person she knew, had betrayed her. Everyone soon joined in on the laughter. Rukia gripped the seat until her knuckles turned white. The urge to get up and run out screaming for someone to save her was almost too strong. She looked around for some kind of consolation.
Nemu. Nemu wasn’t laughing. The lieutenant wore the same melancholic expression she always did. It comforted Rukia to know that everyone had not lost their minds. Bless you, Nemu Kurotsuchi!
Right as she thought this, the twelfth division lieutenant turned her head and, to Rukia’s utter amazement (not to mention extreme discomfort), winked at her.
Nemu then went back to staring at the screen with the same bland expression as before.
She gave no notice of how pale Rukia had turned as a result. Meanwhile, having noticed none of this, the others were gabbling excitedly like a flock of geese.
“He’s the only man who could possibly get away with saying something like that…at a time like that…and it be ok,” Sui-Feng said between cackles.
After a while some measure of order seemed to settle upon the rowdy females. Rangiku, finally able to stand, made her way to the front. Still giggling, she snatched up the list of names and called out, “Lisa.”
The Visored looked around a moment, vision slightly blurred by tears of laughter before realizing exactly what was going on.
“Get your little butt up here,” Rangiku declared shaking the chest of names out in front of her.
Lisa stood slowly, trying to fight back another fit of giggles. She turned to Nanao, who was seated to her right, “You will be my accomplice.”
The young woman wrinkled her face, but despite her reluctance, nodded in agreement. Lisa gave her a little smile before making her way to the front of the room. Not wasting any time she reached her hand into the chest and grabbed the first name her slender fingers touched.
“Ikkaku Madarame,” she said loud enough for everyone to hear.
Some appreciative murmurs stole through their hideout. Not to mention a few leery looks.
“HEY!”
At this shout everyone turned to Kukaku, who was slouched very low and unladylike in her seat.
“When are you two gonna go?”
It was clear she was now addressing the ladies in charge.
“What are you talking about?” asked a confused Rangiku.
“Don’t play dumb. I’m talkin’ about you and the cat. When are you two gonna go? I know your names aren’t on that list so…like I said. At what point do we get to watch you two hide the salami?”
Rangiku looked to Yoruichi then back to Kukaku. “After all of you, I guess.”
“Wait. Who has salami?” asked a suddenly interested Nel.
“I don’t think that’s fair,” the bandaged woman replied completely ignoring the green-haired Arrancar.
Yoruichi was well aware of what her friend was trying to do. She was also aware that Shiba wouldn’t shut up until either she or Rangiku gave in. “I’ll go,” she said with a huff. “Next week I’ll go. Happy?”
“Very,” Kukaku grinned from ear to ear.
The cat goddess’ head rolled to one side with a sigh. Then she glanced around sharply to scan the room. “Anyone else have something to say?”
No one else said a word. Lisa shrugged and went back to her seat, passing Kukaku who was getting up with a wicked grin on her face. By the time Lisa reclaimed her place beside Nanao, the vulgar woman was standing front and center.
“Ok, you hookers. I’ll be teaching this week’s lesson ‘Fighting as Foreplay!’ Because let’s face it, who better to teach about fighting than me?”
Week 6: Lisa Yadômaru and Ikkaku Madarame
Mission: Fighting as Foreplay – Futile Foreplay
Day 1
Lisa moved leisurely through the streets as she contemplated her mission. The Visored was never one to procrastinate. She didn’t see the logic. It was counterproductive and stupid as far as she was concerned. The third seat of the eleventh had never been of any interest to her before now, so she really didn’t know what to expect. Sure she knew who he was, had seen him on numerous occasions, but the two were practically strangers. Good thing you didn’t need to be friends with the man to know he was a little on the crazy side and loved to fight as much as Zaraki Kenpachi, which was why she was headed over to the eleventh division barracks to request a friendly spar. She knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. It would be almost too easy.
Although Nanao had wanted to accompany her she’d instructed her successor to stay put and prepare for the meeting with Rangiku and Yoruichi. The president of the SWSS had insisted on giving the former Shinigami a makeover, so later on they would be meeting to discuss what would be done the following day.
Lisa reached the eleventh division just as the sun was setting, turning the sky a breathtaking mix of orange and violet. Not exactly sure where to look first, she wandered aimlessly for almost an hour. ‘Where the hell is everyone?’ She was beginning to consider heading back, but spotted someone in the distance. As fortune would have it, it turned out to be Coyote Starrk. The former Primera approached her, hands shoved deep in his pockets.
“Where is everybody?” she asked once she was sure he was close enough to hear her.
The Arrancar shrugged. “Probably the same place I’m goin.”
“And where would that be?”
“Drinking,” he answered flatly.
Lisa rolled her eyes. She didn’t have time for this. Rangiku and Yoruichi were probably on the way to meet her, if not already waiting.
“You drink?” the man asked indifferently, interrupting her thoughts.
“Yeah. Why?”
He shrugged, then turned and started walking away, leaving a confused Lisa behind.
“Where are you going?” she called out to him.
“I already told you…drinking,” he said back, not bothering to stop.
Lisa sighed. If Starrk wasn’t so damn sexy he would be completely useless. Seeing no other alternative she ran to catch up to him, then struggled to keep up with his long strides all the way to the eleventh division administrative building. She remembered it being a fairly ordinary edifice, much like any of the other divisions. Her time away from Soul Society had apparently involved a few changes, as the place they were headed towards now looked as if a bomb had gone off inside it at some point. Far from rendering it uninhabitable, from the sound of it there appeared to be a raucous and particularly violent party going on. The noise was deafening from outside and Lisa did not relish the idea of entering the madhouse.
She followed behind Starrk as he opened the door and stepped into what could only be described as complete insanity. Men were everywhere…standing, sitting, lying, fighting, but as soon as they saw the lazy lieutenant they parted like a hooker’s legs. Lisa made sure to stay close, not wanting to get lost in the throng of testosterone that closed right back up after they passed. She tripped on the foot of some poor guy who was out cold, and would have gone down if she hadn’t reached out and grabbed Starrk’s robe. He paused for a moment, not bothering to turn around, and allowed her to regain her footing before starting again.
Finally, they turned into some kind of assembly room. Starrk reached behind him, grabbing Lisa’s hand that she hadn’t realized was still holding his shirt, and pulled until she stood directly beside him.
“Fancy meeting you here.”
Lisa couldn't hide her disbelief when she saw Kukaku seated at the table in front of her leaning heavily on Kenpachi's leg. Also present were Shunsui, Kisuke and her fellow Visored Shinji. It was almost a relief to have another lady present. She was sure she would be the only woman in attendance. And with this lot, that could lead to trouble… the kind she preferred to watch rather than be a part of.
“You look different,” their murderous host grunted as he eyed Lisa. “Why ya got on those weird ass clothes?”
Lisa’s eye twitched dangerously. “I always wear these clothes.” What was he talking about?
Zaraki turned to Shunsui, completely ignoring Lisa, “So you and the wolf sharing your lieutenant now?” Her former captain chuckled, but before he could answer, the spikey-haired man looked back to Lisa. “They ain’t broke ya in half yet? You must be stronger than ya look.”
All eyes turned to Lisa and Starrk who, she only just realized, were still holding hands. It was now perfectly clear there had been a mix-up in the mighty Kenpachi’s thought process. She quickly snatched her fingers from Starrk’s grasp, “I’m not Nanao, you nimrod,” she said through clenched teeth. “And nobody’s sharing her or anybody else.”
“Speak for yourself, four eyes,” Kukaku blurted out.
Kenpachi grunted again. “Ya look the same.”
This was going nowhere, and she wasn't the only one that thought so. Bored with their senseless conversation, Starrk moved toward the table and squeezed his way between Shunsui and Kisuke. He lifted the two men's hats from their heads, switching Kisuke's green striped bucket with Shunsui's sakkat before taking a seat and helping himself to the saké. Both of the headwear aficionados now gazed at one another with a sort of inebriated confusion, as if unable to comprehend the drastic change in their appearances that had taken place.
"Are you… me?" the head of the eighth slurred.
"No…" His drunken cohort's face then took on a shade of confusion. "Unless you're now me… then I'd have no alternative but to be you…for the sake of universal continuity. See what I mean?"
It was clear he did not, and they continued gazing at each other in search of an answer.
“You two look retarded,” Shinji commented.
“You really do,” Kukaku agreed.
Shunsui then leapt upright, threw his arms wide and proclaimed in a loud voice, "I AM KISUKE URAHARA!" before falling spectacularly on his ass.
Kenpachi flicked an eye their way. “No different than normal.”
“Ya just gonna stand there all night or what?” Shinji addressed Lisa, who lifted her chin and treated him to a most withering glare.
“I didn’t come to drink with you,” she snapped at the former renegade. “I have things to do. Where’s Ikkaku?”
“Is he what you have to do?” Kisuke perked up, becoming immediately interested at the prospect of some juicy perverted gossip.
“He’s around here somewhere. Why?” Kenpachi sounded only partially interested.
Lisa’s eyes rolled. “I don’t see why it’s any of your business, but if you must know—“
“I must,” interrupted a smiling Kisuke.
“You’re sick,” she replied.
He tipped the sakkat back with a finger, “Why don’t you stop telling us things we already know and inform us on what you could possibly want with our bald friend at such a late hour.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but all I want is to request a friendly spar.”
Kukaku’s smirk went unnoticed by everyone but Lisa.
“Awww you’re no fun,” Kisuke pouted.
Lisa moved toward the table, taking a seat on the end next to Shinji. She decided to wait for a while since she was sure Yoruichi and Rangiku were long gone. Hopefully she could catch them sometime tomorrow before meeting Ikkaku. No sooner had she taken her seat than a cup was being pushed in front of her by none other than Kukaku. To her right Shinji tapped his tongue ring on his teeth the way he always did when he was bored, something that had always annoyed her.
“The hell’s that noise?” Kenpachi grumbled.
“Oh, my bad,” Shinji commented absently.
“What is that thing anyway?”
“What?”
“That thing in your mouth.”
“My tongue ya dumb shit.” the blonde answered nonchalantly.
“You wanna die?” the brute responded. “You know that ain’t what I was talking about.”
Shinji leaned forward, his long golden locks slightly brushing the table. Lisa was glad he’d decided to grow his hair back, she’d always liked it long.
“It’s a tongue ring,” Kukaku offered.
“Sounds stupid,” the eleventh squad captain remarked.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Shinji grinned. “Stupid, ain’t the word I’d use ta describe it. Ain’t nothing better than hearing a chick scream yer name while yer head’s buried between her…owwww!”
Shinji grabbed his side in pain as he glared at Lisa.
“You’re a perv,” she deadpanned.
“See, I’m not the only one,” Kisuke announced to no one in particular.
Shinji just stuck his tongue out at Lisa. “And you’ve obviously never had someone that knew what they were doing. I can see why that’d make ya bitter, but don’t take it out on me.”
The female Visored rolled her eyes in exasperation.
“And you know what you’re doing?” asked a suddenly intrigued Kukaku.
“Wanna find out?” Shinji asked with a smirk.
All eyes were on Kukaku as she appeared to consider the question. The only reason she’d come out was to seduce and ultimately fuck the eleventh squad captain, but things had gotten real interesting real fast. She sat up from her spot on Kenpachi’s leg and rested her elbows on the table.
“Captain you lookin for me?”
Lisa’s head snapped around along with everyone else’s to see who dared interrupt at such a moment.
“Your timing is magnificent,” the new Kisuke Urahara said sarcastically.
Ikkaku stood in the doorway, a sake jug dangling from his hand with a bored-looking Yumichika behind him.
“Baldy…Fairy Boy,” Kukaku greeted the two leaning back onto Kenpachis leg.
“Oh look, it’s a cave woman,” the smirking Yumichika replied, not missing a beat.
Lisa smiled knowingly at their teasing.
“Not me,” Kenpachi grumbled, finally answering Ikkaku’s question. “Her.”
Lisa stood up ignoring the surprised expression on the third seat’s face.
“Why you looking for me?” the bald man asked, leaning against the doorframe.
“What else does a woman want from a man at this time of night,” the original Kisuke commented airily.
Ikkaku seemed to genuinely think it over. It was a difficult question after all. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t know what women did; at night or any other time. He’d never concerned himself with what the ‘weaker sex’ did. Fighting was always at the top of his list of priorities, followed closely by…training to fight?
“Not too bright,” Starrk slurred, leaning heavily on Shunsui.
“If it hurts you can always just stop,” Kisuke teased Ikkaku’s almost pained expression.
He bristled then. “You callin’ me dumb?”
“I would never,” The playful genius adopted a criminally innocent look.
Tiring of the foolishness, Lisa moved toward her target, “I just want to spar.”
“Now?” Ikkaku asked incredulously. Of course he was always ready for a fight. It just seemed a little suspicious that a chick he barely knew was asking to spar at such a late hour and in the middle of a party. Now, if it was someone like Ichigo or Grimmjow, he’d have said ‘hell yea’.
“Tomorrow,” she corrected.
Ikkaku stared at the Visored for a moment, trying to read her. Was this just a joke or was she serious. The look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She meant it. He smiled.
“Meet me at the eleventh’s training grounds at noon,” he said, his adrenaline already beginning to pump at the prospect of fighting someone new.
“No,” she replied. “Sunset.”
“You’re on,” he responded without hesitation, and then left with Yumichika following close behind.
Day 2
Lisa and Nanao walked swiftly through the sewer system, trying to ignore the smell. They were supposed to meet Rangiku and Yoruichi at the Shihoin compound at noon. When the elder woman had finally returned the night before, Nanao was sleeping peacefully in her bed and it didn’t seem right to wake her. She just hopped in beside the younger woman and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
Lisa’s eyes had opened to a face that was almost identical to her own and nearly jumped out of her skin. Apparently the only way Nanao knew to wake someone up was to stand mere inches from their face and wait. After a frank discussion on appropriate behavior, they got dressed and set out on the second leg of their mission.
“Was it absolutely necessary that we come down here?” Nanao asked, her nose scrunched up. “Do you really think anyone cares who goes to see Captain Shihoin? I mean, I doubt they would even notice.”
“It’s possible that no one would notice, but we still can’t take the risk. There are already enough strange things happening around here with all of the Society’s sexual escapades. Believe it or not, men talk more than women. Suddenly all of us are best friends? There’s no way that would go unnoticed.”
Nanao nodded in understanding. They continued on in a companionable silence giving her some time to think. She was nervous, and it wasn’t even her mission. Having to videotape something that should be private and intimate just didn’t seem right. Nanao glanced at the woman beside her. There was so much she didn’t know that the older woman obviously did. It would soon be her turn and although she knew that she didn’t necessarily need to have sex to complete her mission, she knew there was a good chance that she might have to.
One would think that with a captain like Shunsui Kyoraku she would know a lot (if not everything there was to know) about…well everything, but that was not the case. The truth was Nanao was scared to death. Sure he flirted and teased her enough, but she knew it was just that…teasing. If he ever approached her seriously she would run for the hills. Although contrary to popular belief, she did find him extremely attractive. Who wouldn’t? There was just no way she would expose her ignorance to him; a man who knew so much.
Nanao eyed Lisa again and decided that it was high time she learned some things. Before now she’d been taking the Society as a joke, but that would change. The dainty lieutenant absently reached her hand up and traced the letters on her necklace.
“Fearless,” she whispered.
“What was that?” Lisa asked, turning to her companion.
Nanao smiled. “I said I can’t wait for tonight.”
“It will be interesting, if nothing else.”
The women walked in silence the rest of the way until they reached the underground meeting spot. Rangiku, who’d been waiting for them, opened the door before they knocked and let them in. The room they held their weekly meetings in barely looked like the same place. It was set up like some sort of salon.
“That must have been quite a party last night,” Rangiku giggled as she closed the door behind the two women.
“I didn’t stay because I wanted to,” Lisa replied. “It was unavoidable.”
The busty lieutenant wasn’t buying it. “Oh I’m sure it was.”
“Kukaku was there.”
“Of course she was, she’s a hooker,” Rangiku joked.
“Who’s a hooker?”
The three woman turned as Yoruichi leapt down from the bedroom above carrying a large bag.
“Kukaku,” Rangiku answered.
“Oh. She is,” the goddess of flash agreed, dropping the bag on the floor with a thud. “Nanao help me with these clothes.”
“Are these for Lisa?” The lieutenant moved toward Yoruichi. The captain nodded.
“What’s wrong with the clothes I’m wearing?” Lisa questioned indignantly as she followed behind Nanao.
“Absolutely nothing…if you’re a fourteen-year-old girl. And if you try to peek over here you’re dead.”
Yoruichi glared at the Visored, stopping her in her tracks. Ignoring the look Lisa gave her she sat down to start rummaging through the large bag. Nanao quietly took a seat beside her. “Let’s just lay everything out so she can see it and pick what she wants,” the violet-haired vixen told her assistant.
“Take that braid out,” Rangiku commanded, pulling Lisa back to a chair in the middle of the floor.
The Visored did as she was told while Rangiku produced enough hair supplies for twenty women. Lisa raised an eyebrow. “You know what you’re doing right?”
“Yes,” the blonde replied with a huff. “I’m just gonna tame it a little, don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
The Visored smirked. “I’m not wearing any.”
There was a moment of stunned silence before they all laughed, except Nanao, whose face was a deep shade of crimson.
Matsumoto shook her head. “I knew there was a reason I liked you. Now hold still or I’ll burn you.”
“Wait!” Yoruichi stood, holding her hands up. Rangiku froze. The steaming flat iron inches away from Lisa’s head. Nanao dropped an unidentified leather thing with eyes as big as saucers.
“What?” Lisa yelled.
Yoruichi’s face was horrorstruck. “I forgot the drinks!”
Rangiku’s eyes widened as she dropped the hot piece of equipment. Lisa jerked away to avoid being burned by the falling appliance, and landed on the floor with a thud.
“Ok. Nobody panic. Rangiku spoke as calmly as she could manage under the ghastly circumstances. She looked each woman in the eye to reassure them. “We can handle this. This is what we’ve trained for our whole lives.”
Lisa snorted before she could stop herself as she got to her feet and proceeded to witness the most fantastic display of idiocy she’d ever seen.
“Nanao go boil some water.”
“Is someone having a baby?” Lisa muttered under her breath.
Her colleague, however, did not question. The raven-haired lieutenant bolted for the ladder that led up to Yoruichi’s room. Halfway up, she was abruptly yanked back down by her collar. She landed hard on her less-than-ample rear, knocking her glasses askew. She stared up in bewilderment at the culprit, Yoruichi.
“You can’t go up there, I live here. What if somebody were to see you? We’re not friends,” the golden-eyed captain scolded.
With a sharp intake of breath Nanao hung her head. Yoruichi didn’t want to be her friend? “We’re not?” she asked, voice heavy with disappointment. ‘I thought we were supposed to be sisters now.’
“No!” Yoruichi exclaimed. Nanao’s heart sunk. “Not as far as anyone else is concerned. Do you want us to get caught?”
Understanding came. “No, Captain. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
‘You’re in good company.’ Lisa thought, as she moseyed over to the gigantic bag of clothes to take a peek. It appeared that Yoruichi had brought any and everything she could get her hands on. Lisa easily tuned the noisy women out and focused on the bag. There were leather pants, tons of spandex, and a countless amount of shoes, bustiers and thongs. ‘How the hell am I supposed to fight in a maid’s outfit?’ She glanced up at the women to make sure they weren’t paying attention and almost felt a little sorry for Nanao who was at that moment, being told to go to the world of the living for potatoes. Looking back down into the bag she saw a pair of really cute boots right next to a huge purple dildo and a bottle of...
‘Wait! What?!’
“A DILDO?!” she yelled at the top of her lungs, blowing her cover. The search for their liquid love was abandoned as all heads turned to the glaring woman with the purple penis in her hand. “What the hell is this?”
“My purple monster,” Yoruichi answered wagging her eyebrows.
Monster was right. The thing was huge. Double headed and at least a foot long…so thick Lisa could barely fit her hand around it.
“And may I ask why you would bring this to give me for a sparring match? What do you plan for me to do?”
“Well I can think of a couple things,” Rangiku giggled.
Lisa’s face contorted. “You want me to do that during the fight?”
“Of course not,” Yoruichi paused. “Well, I mean you could, but I wouldn’t think you’d want to with everyone watching, and I’m not too sure how Ikkaku would feel about it. Anyway you don’t have to take it. I just brought stuff I thought you might like.”
“Like lube and big purple cocks? And what do you mean by everyone?”
Yoruichi tapped her finger to her chin. “You know as well as I that a sparring match in the eleventh is as good as a party. I’m sure half the Seireitei will be there.”
The Visored snorted as she slammed the penis on the floor. Yoruichi was right. The eleventh division celebrated violence like normal people did birthdays. That would certainly make things more difficult. If she didn’t want her literal ass on display for the world to see she would have to figure out a way to get her and Ikkaku some privacy. After a few unproductive seconds Lisa shook her head and decided she would just wing it. “What else is in here?”
She rummaged through the bag of clothing and supplies pulling out a number of suspicious-looking things until she spotted something under what looked like a lace cat suit. Moving her glasses to the tip of her nose she moved a little closer. Her eyes widened. “You idiots!” Lisa snatched the lace thing out of the way and reached into the bag pulling out a jug of saké. She glared at Yoruichi then Rangiku.
“Yay! Lisa saved the day,” the cheerful president of the Secret Society declared right before Nanao dropped to the floor in relief.
Yoruichi sauntered over to the bearer of her precious saké to take it from her hand. “We’ve wasted enough time with your foolishness. Now get back over there while I pour us some drinks.”
A nerve in Lisa’s head pulsed dangerously while she stomped towards Rangiku who in turn shoved her down into the chair. “Don’t move,” the phony beautician told her as she started the tedious task of styling Lisa’s hair.
A couple hours later the makeover was finished and they were all a little buzzed. Nanao and Yoruichi had long finished setting the clothes out. They sat in silence as Lisa appraised herself in the mirror. She had never seen her hair look so good. Rangiku hadn’t done anything special, just straightened it and tamed her bangs, but she had to admit that the blonde had done an excellent job.
Nanao couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much fun. Being able to spend time with three of the people she looked up to the most was more than she could have hoped for. She’d sat quietly most of the time just listening and trying to learn as much as she could. “I wonder who I’ll get?” she whispered to herself.
“Who do you want?”
Startled, Nanao turned to see Yoruichi gazing at her with an expectant look. Blushing furiously she replied. “Oh…uhh, I don’t know.”
“Come on, don’t be like that. You can tell us.” She looked up at Lisa, “Hey Lisa who did you wanna get?”
The petite woman gazed in the mirror a few more moments before turning around to face the others. “Definitely Starrk.”
“Oh, good pick,” Rangiku nodded her head tipsily. “I wouldn’t mind trying that out myself. What about you Yo? I mean if there’s anyone that you haven’t already slept with.”
“Real funny.” Nanao tried to stifle a giggle. Yoruichi glared at the little lieutenant. “You think it’s funny?”
“No,” she snapped her mouth shut and looked away.
After a few moments of staring at the back of Nanao’s head Yoruichi slowly turned back to Rangiku to answer her question. “Jushiro.”
“Really?” Nanao blurted before she could stop herself.
“I want to see if he’s really as sweet and innocent as he pretends to be.” She paused for a moment before continuing. “And I want to pull his hair,” she said matter-of-factly. “What about you Ran?”
“Kisuke,” the blonde answered immediately.
“Well don’t think too long about it,” Yoruichi teased with a chuckle. “Anyway, you can’t handle Kisuke.”
“What?” Rangiku frowned. “You mean he can’t handle me.”
There came a shake of a purple head. “I can barely handle Kisuke.”
A does-not-compute expression was plastered on the other women’s faces as they stared at their sexual idol. She had to be lying, but her expression was completely serious.
“Are you joking,” Rangiku questioned disbelievingly.
“What does he do,” Lisa asked, still unable to believe that there was someone Yoruichi couldn’t hold her own against. She just seemed like she knew everything. It was a scary thought.
“What doesn’t he do?” Yoruichi answered with a naughty smirk.
“How big is he?” Rangiku whispered.
The women watched impatiently as Yoruichi thought for a moment. “You’ve seen my purple monster--” Rangiku’s eyes widened. “I have one called ‘Kisuke’—since he designed it for me.”
“Holy shit Yoruichi! Don’t scare me like that!” Rangiku blurted, her knees weak. She plopped down in the chair. Looking at Nanao and Lisa she could tell she wasn’t the only one who’d thought, if only for a minute, that Kisuke had a foot-long cock.
“I’ll show it to you…if Nanao tells us who she wants to pick,” Yoruichi finished with a smirk.
All eyes were on the bespectacled lieutenant. Nanao knew there was no escaping this time. Swallowing the lump in her throat she answered, still a little unsure of herself. “I don’t know. Ichigo?”
Yoruichi let out an over-exaggerated sigh, “Who doesn’t? Try again.”
“Yea, that’s like the default answer. I could have said the same thing,” Rangiku commented.
Nanao decided to just get it over with and tell them. She really didn’t know what she was so nervous about considering her present company. They never judged anyone, not seriously anyway. “Shinji,” she proclaimed before squeezing her eyes shut.
The silence was deafening. Nanao cracked one lid open to take in the expressions of the women who were surely judging her, but instead of the repulsed faces she was expecting they almost looked proud.
“Shinji’s a freak…and I mean a super freak.” Lisa was the first to speak up. “Good choice though. Ambitious.”
Rangiku and Yoruichi just smiled as the latter stood and moved towards the ladder.
“Where you going’?” Rangiku asked as she began to clean up the area.
Yoruichi grinned. “To get my Kisuke.”
-o0o-
Lisa and Nanao parted ways with their fearless leaders as soon as they entered the eleventh division. There was already a small crowd forming around the training grounds. Damn Yoruichi for always being right. Just as she’d expected, her attire was bringing unwanted attention, though she had to admit that she did look good. They’d forced her into a black latex cat suit with an extremely low V in the front. For the first time in her life she was grateful for her complete lack of cleavage. If she was any bigger she was sure the crowd would be seeing more than just a fight. Her long bangs swept over her eye leaving her completely blind on that side. ‘At least the shoes are comfortable,’ she thought looking down at the black leather platform boots.
Nanao spotted Momo in the crowd and left Lisa to make her way over to Ikkaku, who was already waiting for her alone on the practice field. He raised an eyebrow while giving her a thorough once over, but said nothing. They moved to their respective sides and Lisa tried to come up with some sort of game plan. It was hard to think with the noise from those gathered to watch, but she made do. A quick glance up revealed almost all of the members of the Society in attendance. Pulling out her zanpakuto and doing a couple practice swings, she went over the instructions she’d given to Nanao. Since even she didn’t know exactly what she was going to do, she’d just told the lieutenant of the eighth to follow her no matter what happened and never stop recording.
“Yo!” called her bald opponent from the other side of the field. “We just gonna stand here all day, or are you having second thoughts?”
“Now that you mention it, I am.” Her back was still turned to the bloodthirsty madman, so she was forced to forgo the pleasure of witnessing Ikkaku’s expression. “I should have asked someone stronger. You won’t even be a challenge.”
Lisa turned, bringing palm to face, summoning her hollow mask. The swirl of her distinctly Visored reiatsu excited Ikkaku more than anything had in a long time. A crazed smile stretched across his face as she charged him.
“Grow. Hozukimaruuuuuuuuuu!” he yelled slamming the hilt of his sword and its sheath together, then pointing the now released spear directly at the masked woman. In a flash of shunpo she was behind him bringing her sword down. He blocked the attack with ease.
“You’re fast,” he spun to face the latex clad Visored. “But not fast enough.”
He lunged forward, bombarding her with attacks from every direction. As quick as he proved to be, she dodged them all. On Ikkaku’s final thrust Lisa spun off his shoulder catching him in the back of the head with an elbow. Almost immediately he whirled around swinging the spear around at an alarming rate. She jumped back, but was too late. A gash opened up on her arm and blood trickled out onto her bodysuit.
Ikkaku grinned like a maniac. “Gotcha.”
Lisa knew she needed to take this fight to the next level and quick, before Ikkaku got too immersed. She hadn’t wanted to go all out because, frankly, the idea of having sex covered in cuts, bruises and dirt didn’t really appeal to her. ‘Time to try something else.’
Nanao watched the fight with bated breath. She knew full well how serious the eleventh division took combat of any kind, and was beginning to wonder if Lisa would be able to pull it off. She hadn’t made a move yet, but her mentor had better turn this around fast before she ended up in the fourth division.
“What do you think she’s gonna do?” Momo asked, leaning towards her friend so she could be heard over the cheers of the crowd.
Nanao shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”
The little lieutenant gave her a worried expression, then turned her attention back to the fight.
Ikkaku stared at the woman he barely knew as she lifted her hand to her face and her mask disappeared. Her spiritual tang dropped significantly, causing the powerful third seat to frown. “You giving up?”
Her answer came with the next words.
“Smash. Haguro Tonbo.”
Ikkaku’s eyes lit up when he saw the huge weapon, and just like that she was gone. On instinct he brought his pole up to defend himself. A good thing too, because the next thing he knew it felt like a tree trunk had fallen on top of him. It was hard to equate this sensation with the sight of the cold-eyed female bearing down upon him with her own pike. Then she was gone again.
Ikkaku was having a hard time following her erratic movements, mostly because she didn’t seem to be attacking. He felt a hand on his shoulder, then it was gone, taking with it the right side of his robe. Was she taunting him? He quickly ripped the remaining fabric from his body, dropping it to the ground.
Lisa decided to use her small size and agility against him. Her shunpo wasn’t as good as a captain’s, but it was on par with his if not a little better. She left off her fusillade and settled back in front of him to watch the show. His body was as close to perfect as one could get, which more than made up for his extraordinarily ordinary face.
“The hell are you doing?” her half naked opponent asked. “You gonna play games or fight?”
“Why can’t we do both?”
Ikkaku’s raised eyebrow. His overall look of confusion told Lisa that this wouldn’t be as easy as she’d hoped. He snorted at the question and not wasting a second more, attacked. From that point on the fight was extremely one-sided. Lisa no longer initiated attacks, but simply dodged and ran trying to preserve her hair and outfit. She defended herself when avoiding the attack was impossible, but for the most part she was simply trying to devise some kind of plan before he killed her. The more she ran, the angrier he got and the more fearsome the contest became.
Lisa didn’t know how long they’d been at it, but fatigue was beginning to kick in. It was time for drastic measures. She summoned her hollow mask once again and returned her sword to its sealed form; her reiatsu flared. The boost in speed was exactly what she needed. One minute she was halfway across the field and the next she was close enough to kiss him. Ikkaku’s eyes widened, but to his surprise and everyone watching, she did not attack. Instead her hand moved down and gripped his surprisingly hard manhood. She smiled as she thought of the fun she’d have with it later. ‘This fight needs to be over NOW.’ She would have simply dropped her zanpakuto in the dirt and jumped him if she wasn’t afraid he’d take the opening to cut her head off.
The action silenced their audience, confusion written all over their faces. What kind of sparring match was this?
“That’s what I’m talkin about,” yelled a voice Lisa immediately recognized as Kukaku’s.
She got in one good stroke before he knocked her hand away. He looked even angrier now. What the hell was wrong with him? Couldn’t he take a hint?
“Your secret attacks won’t work on me,” Ikkaku sneered.
Seriously? Lisa was glad her mask hid the blank stare she gave the now-charging bald man. She easily sidestepped his rush. He reached out in an attempt to grab her only to find she wasn’t there.
“Behind you,” whispered the slightly distorted voice. She reached around Ikkaku’s body and raked her nails down his chest hard enough to draw blood. He grabbed her wrist and flung her halfway across the field. A cloud of dirt surrounded her as she landed hard and slid across the ground. Wasting no time, she jumped back to her feet and flash-stepped toward him. Ikkaku got down, ready to counter whatever she threw at him. Like a trained gymnast she leapt into a somersault, coming down on the topless man. Their zanpakuto clashed as her knees connected with Ikkaku’s chest knocking him to the ground.
Behind her mask Lisa smiled. She would make sure he understood this time. Straddling his torso and pining his hands above his head, she squeezed as hard as she could, stopping any attempt he made to get up. He was obviously surprised by her strength.
“Pinned ya,” said the warped and surprisingly seductive Hollow voice.
Ikkaku wrestled one hand free to punch Lisa directly in the mask. Catching the second punch she slammed his arm back to the ground.
“Pinned ya again.”
The nerve on Ikkaku’s head throbbed dangerously, his eye twitched, and his reiatsu flared far beyond what should have been possible for a third seat. It was amusing to watch albeit a little scary. She leaned forward, her mask dissolving from her face in a golden glow. With a quick look into his wild gaze, she smashed her lips onto his. His eyes went wide and his body stiffened. It was like kissing a brick wall.
The entire situation was awkward. It was quiet…too quiet. The crowd had obviously been stunned into silence. She could feel the hundreds of eyes on them, but tried to ignore it. Lisa softened the kiss willing him to relax. It didn’t happen. Deciding to take a risk she slowly released one of his hands. When he didn’t move to attack she reached up to stroke his head.
She’d closed her eyes as soon as she went in for the kiss, for the simple fact that she didn’t want his crazed expression to turn her off, but now she needed to see him…needed to look into that expressive face. Lisa pulled back ending the kiss (if it could even be called that) and looked down.
His face was unreadable. He didn’t look mad, but he didn’t exactly look like he wanted to skip through a field of sunflowers either.
“It can’t be that bad,” she purred as she stroked his head.
His eyes narrowed in feigned agitation but he didn’t reply.
“Don’t be like that just because I kicked your ass. You can kill me another day.”
He seemed to seriously consider that last part. For a moment Lisa thought that she would be the first one to fail a mission by way of death. But then something completely unexpected happened. Ikkaku smirked.
“Shut up. Idiot. I went easy on ya.”
“Hmf.” she grunted before suddenly attacking Ikkaku’s mouth again, not interested in whatever else he had to say. She released his other hand, fairly sure he wouldn’t try to escape, placing it on the side of his face. He still didn’t kiss her back, but he didn’t tense up. Progress had been made.
“If you assholes ain’t gonna fuck I’m leaving.”
Apparently, Ikkaku had forgotten about their rather large audience, because at the sound of Grimmjow’s voice, he stirred uncomfortably. Not wanting him to go brick wall on her again Lisa did the only thing she could think of to get his attention back on her. She ground her hips down onto his member and gently raked her nails across his smooth head. He moaned into the kiss allowing her to slide her tongue into his warm mouth. His hands moved slowly to her waist as he raised his hips to meet her warmth. He slipped his tongue over hers and she let him take control.
Lisa slid her hand down his muscular chest and into his hakama, seizing his growing erection and making him shudder.
“Fuck,” he moaned into her mouth. Moving his free hand behind Lisa’s head he quickly flipped her on her back and pressed his straining erection against her. Lisa’s back bowed off the ground as Ikkaku deepened the kiss…the best Lisa ever recalled getting.
“Hell yea!” Kukaku screamed pulling the lovers from their trance.
Ikkaku pulled back obviously frustrated about the interruption. He was rock hard and Lisa was breathless, lips swollen from their heated kiss. Her eyes fluttered open as she struggled to form a coherent thought.
“Hold on to me,” he practically growled to her. That was all the warning she got before they disappeared in a flash of shunpo.
The audience remained silent, with one notable exception. “Damn them,” Grimmjow huffed loudly. “First they make us watch that lame-ass fight. Then, they disappear right when it was getting good. I’m out.”
While many of the eleventh division members seemed confused as to what had been going on at the end, all came to realize that there would be no more fighting this day. Others soon followed the former sixth Espada’s lead and left.
“Well, I guess the show’s over.” Yoruichi came, walking up behind Momo and Nanao, putting her arms around their shoulders.
“I guess so,” Momo responded.
The captain gave her friend a pointed look, “Don’t you think you should get going?”
It was then that Nanao remembered that her job was not yet finished. She’d gotten so caught up in what was happening on the field it had completely slipped her mind that she was supposed to follow when they left. She looked up at the golden-eyed captain and nodded before disappearing in a flash.
Before Lisa even realized what had happened they were at what she assumed was Ikkaku’s living quarters. He carried her over the threshold and kicked the door shut, her legs still firmly wrapped around his waist. She wasted no time resuming their kiss. Ikkaku spun around slamming her back against the door. He held firmly onto her ass with one hand and pulled at the neck of her latex suit with the other.
Deserting his lips, Lisa redirected her attention to his neck, doing more biting than kissing. His head fell back as he allowed her to ravish him.
“Bed,” she panted between bites.
He grunted in apparent understanding and began stumbling to make it to his bedroom, knocking into walls and chairs on the way. Pushing his way through the door, he lurched onto the futon and dropped to his knees. With a hand planted on each side of her head he tried to regain his composure, but Lisa wouldn’t allow it. Ikkaku found himself being pulled into yet another heated lip-lock. Their tongues dueled for control as Ikkaku was finally able to rip the stretchy fabric from her shoulder revealing pebbled pink nipples. He roughly took one into his mouth and bit hard…too hard, but before Lisa’s fist could communicate her displeasure a loud bang came from outside startling them both.
Ikkaku pulled away and hovered over her, finally getting a chance to think. How had their shitty sparring match turned into this? He got to his feet leaving Lisa lying on her back. Waving for her to stay put, he made his way out of the room. Lisa sat up and gave her body a quick once over. She was dirty, bruised and bloody…decidedly not sexy. Even though at that moment there was nothing more she’d rather do than have the bald man drill her into the floor. Now that the heated foreplay was over she was painfully aware of how filthy she was.
A knock at the window pulled her from her self-appraisal. She turned to see Nanao, who she’d honestly forgotten all about, staring at her with an unreadable expression. Lisa jumped up, rushed to the window and quickly opened it.
“Was that you making all that noise,” the Visored asked her accomplice.
The lieutenant nodded. “I tripped,” she responded irritably. “That idiot has booby-traps set up all over the place.”
Lisa smirked shaking her head in amusement. “I honestly forgot all about you. You kind of interrupted, but it’s fine,” she waved off the woman’s apologetic look. “I need a shower so you can just stay here.” Lisa paused a moment, “On second thought just follow your instincts. We might not make it to the bathroom. Who knows” she shrugged and turned, leaving Nanao alone at the window, and began her search for the bathroom.
Almost immediately she heard Ikkaku’s voice. ‘Who’s he talking to?’ Lisa moved as quietly as she could down the hall, following the voice. ‘Is he singing?’ she thought with a crease in her brow. The closer she got, the more apparent it became that there was indeed was a musical production being put on in what she finally decided was the bathroom.
“Luc luc luc…luc luc luc…lu lu lu lu lu LUC…luc luc luc LUC…Luck luck luck luck LUUUUCK! LUCKY!” came the voice from inside.
‘What the hell is he doing in there?’
All of a sudden the door opened.
“Shit!” Lisa mumbled, willing her body to turn and run, but it was too late. Ikkaku was staring at her with a curious expression.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to take a shower.” she answered a little too quickly.
Ikkaku, not noticing her suspicious behavior, eyed the both of them and grunted. “I guess we could kinda use one.” He shrugged as he stepped past her and continued down the hall. “I’ll get you a towel,” he called over his shoulder.
Lisa stepped into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door, and peeled the cat suit from her body and took a moment to mourn for her ruined hair. When Ikkaku returned he froze at the door. There was a naked woman in his shower. Not that he’d thought she bathed with her clothes on but…
Lisa turned her head peeking one eye open. “You getting in?”
It was then that Ikkaku realized something was missing...besides her clothes. Two large turquoise orbs regarded him curiously.
“Where are your glasses?”
“I don’t bathe in them,” she replied sounding mildly annoyed.
He grunted absently as he laid the towel across the sink and began to strip.
Lisa didn’t bother hiding the fact that she was watching him. It was no time to be coy. He stepped in the shower, closing the curtain behind him. There was a moment of awkwardness before he quickly washed himself, making sure to avoid any kind of contact with the raven-haired woman, and got out.
Lisa stood as the water cascaded over her petite frame, staring at the door. ‘He must be coming back,’ she thought.
He never did.
“What the fuck?” the sexually frustrated woman yelled, hoping to hell that her host had heard her. She quickly scrubbed herself down and exited the shower, eager to see just what the bald man thought he was doing. You don’t just give a girl the best kiss she’s ever had in her life, bring her back to your house, get her naked in the shower and then say, “Thanks for coming. Enjoy yourself.”
Lisa padded down the hallway back to his bedroom. There he was, naked on his futon, fingers laced behind his head. “Took ya long enough.” He smiled when Lisa was unable to reply or even be polite enough to look at his face.
She quickly glanced at the window looking for Nanao. Didn’t see her, but she could hardly go find out where she was especially with Ikkaku laying there ready and waiting. A wicked grin appeared on her face as she dropped her towel to the floor, crawled between his legs and took as much of him in her mouth as she could.
“Shiiiiit,” Ikkaku moaned, his eyes involuntarily shutting.
Her tongue swirled skillfully around his fully erect member. Then…
“ACK!” Lisa suddenly gagged.
Ikkaku’s eyes widened in horror. ‘Ack’ was never something you want to hear from a person who’s just had your penis in their mouth.
“What is that!” Lisa exclaimed, her tongue hanging out of her mouth as she wiped it with her hands. “It tastes like poison.”
“It does not,” Ikkaku snapped.
“Yuuuuuuk! It’s so…gross,” she whined, dramatically grabbing her throat with both hands. She got up and darted to the bathroom to rinse her mouth, leaving Ikkaku alone with his wounded ego.
Outside, Nanao’s eyes opened and darted around. How had she gotten on the ground? The unwilling voyeur sat up as the memory of Ikkaku’s naked body assaulted her. ‘I don’t think I’m ready for this,’ she thought as she got to her feet and peeked into the window. The third seat was still naked but his expression told her something must have gone wrong. Quickly turning on the camera and bracing herself for the long night ahead of her, she began recording.
Moments later Lisa returned with a wet washcloth in her hand, back to her composed self. “Are you trying to kill me?”
Ikkaku’s mortified expression would have been amusing if it weren’t for the fact that she was pretty sure he had just tried to pull the old toxic cock trick on her.
“What the hell are you talking about?” he hollered. “You think you can just insult me like that and get away with it?”
“I didn’t insult you,” she said calmly, pushing her glasses up on her nose. “But something is very wrong. Did you put something on?”
With a reluctant scowl Ikkaku thought for a moment. “You’re crazy. I didn’t put nothing on but cologne.”
“Why would you spray it on your cock? Wipe it off.” She threw the washcloth into the man’s lap rolling her eyes.
He angrily snatched the cloth and began busily cleaning himself. Throwing the rag to the side he glared at the still naked woman in the doorway.
Sighing Lisa knelt down in front of Ikkaku and kissed him. She simply had to complete the mission, and so far kissing seemed to be the only thing he wouldn’t fuck up.
For her part Nanao felt like a pervert…a Peeping Tom. Her palms were sweating as she held the camera and there felt like nuclear mutated butterflies in her stomach. ‘It will all be over soon,’ she told herself while swallowing the lump in her throat. When Ikkaku started pushing Lisa’s head down to his groin Nanao’s eyes went wide. ‘Oh gods, I can’t take this.’
“Fuck yea,” he moaned as his member was swallowed with ease. Reaching down he rolled her nipples between his sword calloused hands.
It was a little rough, but not completely unpleasant. Blunt nails raked across toned abs coaxing a surprising whimper from the brute’s lips. He raised his hips, thrusting his cock deep into her throat until it blocked her air passage. Her eyes glazed over as she struggled to hold her breath. She fought against Ikkaku’s hand as he steadily forced her head down. Only when she began to gag did he release her head. She jerked back, gasping for air. Lisa looked around uncomfortably. This night just kept getting better and better. Nothing was going right. Had it not been for the mission she’d be on her way out the door.
Before she could voice her displeasure at yet another stupid and completely unacceptable thing he had done, she found herself on her back with Ikkaku looking down on her with almost the same expression from when they were sparring. He took one nipple into his mouth as he sloppily groped the other with a hand that made sandpaper feel like a baby’s ass. She squirmed awkwardly under him as he continued to lick, suck and poke every inch of her delicate frame. He panted and moaned in such an exaggerated way that Lisa could barely believe she wasn’t having the most mind-blowing experience of her life. Glancing over to the window, she saw Nanao watching with a less than enthused expression. Lisa felt sorry for her. The poor girl would be scarred for life after seeing such a disastrous attempt at foreplay. She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes hoping he would get the hint.
His head snapped up and for a moment Lisa thought she would be spared, but she would have no such luck.
He grinned at her with hungry eyes. “Turn over,” he said with a low husky voice. “I know you want this dick.” He grabbed the base of his erect member and shook it, in an attempt to entice her, Lisa supposed. ‘Best to just get it over with,’ she told herself, as she followed the man’s instructions. Mid-turn, his rough hand connected with her rear in a hard smack. Lisa yelped as she was pushed the rest of the way over and yanked by her waist to her knees. She looked back over her shoulder at Ikkaku’s wide-eyed expression and wondered if her ass had undergone some kind of amazing change since the last time she’d seen it.
She watched as he smacked each cheek with his cock and rubbed the leaking head up and down her crack. Her eyes widened when it brushed her puckered pink hole. By no means was she a prude, but there were some things she simply wouldn’t do, especially not with Mister Psycho. He’d probably rip her in half. Everything he did was too rough. No, he definitely would not be taking a stroll on her Hershey highway. She braced herself for the pain she knew was coming, since she was about as dry as Byakuya at a party. He reverently caressed each cheek before leaning forward and whispering, “You ready for this?”
Lisa sighed in irritation, just barely able to hold back from saying ‘Just put it in already!’
Among his many other talents, Ikkaku must have been a mind reader because at that moment he rammed into her with a loud grunt. He pulled out slowly, his body shuddering, before slamming back in hard. Reaching forward, he grabbed a handful of her ebony locks as he settled into a steady rhythm. The harsh act pulled Lisa out of what was probably the first ever recorded sweatdrop during sex. First she thought that maybe this whole thing was a sick twisted joke, but as she listened to the uninhibited moans coming from the bald man’s mouth, she knew it wasn’t. He was honestly and truly enjoying this. Then something else dawned on the Visored, something appalling…scandalous even.
Ikkaku was a virgin. He had to be. There was just no other explanation for a man making passionate love to a woman’s thighs. Inexcusable!
Lisa was torn. Should she say something and crush his pride? Should she squeeze her thighs together, and break his dick off as punishment for being a stupid inexperienced asshole who couldn’t tell the difference between a car engine and a vagina?
“It’s so good you’re speechless,” Ikkaku panted, interrupting her inner rant.
Lisa’s eye twitched menacingly as the rhythmic slapping of flesh filled her ears. He had made her decision for her. She shook her head urging him to release his hold on her hair. He did, moving his hand to her waist as he continued to savagely pound into her legs. Glancing back over her shoulder and into his lust-filled eyes, her blood boiled. How dare he enjoy himself so thoroughly while simultaneously putting her through such misery?
“You’re not even IN!” she screeched.
Lisa’s complaint fell on deaf ears.
“It feels good, don’t it,” asked an oblivious Ikkaku as his speed increased.
Lisa stared back in disbelief as she was fucked like a plastic sex doll. She tried in vain to at least avoid getting whiplash as each thrust became harder than the last. Her thighs were beginning to burn from the friction and she wondered how his cock hadn’t burst into flames. This had to stop. She had technically already completed the mission so there really was nothing preventing her from getting up and leaving except for the death grip Ikkaku had on her hips.
Outside Nanao’s hand slapped over her mouth to muffle her yelp. She had known something was off. She herself was a virgin, but over the last couple of weeks, she’d seen enough sex to know more or less what it was supposed to look like. And that was not it. Besides the fact that Lisa had remained suspiciously silent throughout the entire ordeal, she had also never shown a single sign of pleasure; which seemed to Nanao to be the whole point of having sex.
Glancing to the right Lisa could see Nanao’s shocked expression even with the camera hiding half of her face. She was obviously having a hard time understanding what she was seeing. Turning to face Ikkaku again she attempted to yell over his crazed moans, but it was too late. He slammed into her hard one last time before pulling out and crying out something that sounded suspiciously like, “HOZUKIMARUUUU!!!!”
“GAH! My eye!”
Next meeting
“Ok everybody sit down so we can start the video.” Yoruichi announced with a smirk. “Oh, but not by Lisa. She has pinkeye.”
“I don’t have pinkeye,” Lisa snapped, crossing her arms.
Kukaku jumped to her feet, hands waving. “As much as I really…really want to see how you got that eye, I want to see who catwoman picks more.”
Yoruichi’s eyes rolled as a low chuckle escaped her lips.
“Yea!” Nel exclaimed. “Pick first!” She jumped up and ran to grab the chest, bringing it back to her captain.
Yoruichi glanced at Rangiku who just smiled and shrugged. The werecat sighed loudly and dug her hand into the chest, yanking out the first paper her fingers touched.
She stared at the slip blankly for a moment before throwing her head back in hysterical laughter.
-o0o-
Poor Lisa. I’ll make it up to her. Maybe.
