Darkest Blue

Chapter 7: Electrical Storm

"You're in my mind all of the time,

I know that's not enough.

If the sky can crack,

there must be some way back,

for love and only love."

- U2

The Lord of Las Noches sat at the head of the elongated white meeting table, only half listening to the pink haired espada currently briefing the room on the latest developments with his ever countless experiments and research projects. The universal darkness painted shadows across the white furniture and tangled in orange strands as Ichigo sat slumped and blank faced in the seat beside him.

The fire of his ochre eyes now seemed dulled as he regarded the room with disinterest, staring out from a pale and haggard face. The red band of the restrictive collar stood out more than ever along with the fading cuts and bruises adorning the whitish skin of the shinigami's face and neck, the marks revealing only the bare minimum of his mistreatment. It was upon him that most of Aizen's attention was focused, much to the irritation of the narcissistic octava. He clicked his tongue in annoyance, an action that did not go unnoticed.

'That will suffice, Szayel Aporro.' Aizen dismissed him with a casual wave of his hand. The spectacled espada pressed his lips together in a tight line but he did as was commanded, dipping his head in an empty bow as he took up his seat at the meeting table. The lord turned to his soldiers then, wordlessly capturing their attention as he cocked his head to lean his cheek against the back of his hand.

'Thank you for your attention my dear espada.' He spoke then, the velvet voice gentle but in some way harsh in the same instance. 'This meeting will now conclude.' He turned to the pink haired scientist, revealing that he had in fact been listening to the sociopath's ramblings. 'I shall now go along to see the results of your latest experiment.'

'Thank you, Aizen-sama.' Szayel mumbled as he rose, pressing his white gloved hands to the table. The rest of the company did likewise, a weary silence enveloping the room. None of the arrancar were too pleased with Ichigo's attendance. They were unnerved, not by his mere presence but by how subdued he was. Even those who had not fought him beforehand knew of his power and fiery attitude, and to see him now silent and unresisting was almost terrifying even to those who long abandoned such emotion. It was proof indeed of Aizen's power and the quiet awe resting upon the table showed the espada's recognition of this.

Grimmjow however was neither unnerved nor awed by the presence of the shinigami, but rather was annoyed and irritated by it. The mere fact that somebody he wanted to rip limb from limb was sitting quietly across the table from him was bad enough, but the knowledge that he was not permitted to touch his prey was even worse. The shinigami was Aizen's property now, and nobody would hurt and torture the boy but the man himself. Teal eyes glared as he watched Aizen rise from his seat to run fingers through the boy's hair, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

'Yes Aizen-sama.' Ichigo's reply was almost inaudible and was totally unrecognisable as his own voice, all spark and emotion gone. The expression on his face didn't change even a little as he was given his orders and replied, and he sat statue still as his master departed, leaving him sitting there alone.

The blue haired sexta remained seated too, slightly surprised that Aizen made no comment at his doing so. The rest of the espada left along with the lord, and the two other ex-captains were for once nowhere to be seen. Grimmjow's grin stretched from ear to ear as he realised that he'd just been left with a defenceless Ichigo. Alone. He wasn't ignorant enough to think that Aizen hadn't done this on purpose, knowing that sneaky bastard it was probably some sort of sick test, but for which one of them Grimmjow had no idea.

'Fuck it', he thought. 'I'm not passing up an opportunity like this.' He rose from his seat and made his way nonchalantly over to the other end of the table where the orange haired shinigami sat. Irritation twitched at the corner of his mind as the boy showed absolutely no recognition of his presence and he had to resist the urge to smack the ignorance right out of him.

'Hey, shinigami.' Grimmjow snarled. Still no reaction from Ichigo. He growled low in his throat as he slammed his fist down on the table in front of him. 'I'm talking to you, you fucking idiot.' Nothing. He felt rage building in his chest, nobody ignored Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez and got away with all his limbs, especially not some snot nosed shinigami kid like him. He grabbed Ichigo's chin in a tight grip, forcing the boy to lift his head to look at him and for a moment he was shocked by the utter lack of recognition in his eyes.

'ICHIGO!' he barked, angry at the fact that he was being ignored. At the sound of his name something stirred in Ichigo's eyes for a moment before fading away again.

'Grimmjow.' He murmured emotionlessly, looking at the espada now as though he couldn't really see him.

'What the hell is wrong with you shinigami?' the arrancar hissed, no trace of the anger and fury that were always roaring within Ichigo when he confronted the sixth espada could be seen in him now, and that infuriated Grimmjow beyond belief. 'Don't fucking ignore me.'

'Aizen… sama' there was a slight hesitation in his voice as Ichigo spoke the name '…He instructed me not to confront you, Grimmjow.'

'Aizen-sama?' Grimmjow mocked, 'Here I thought you were just pretending, but you really are his little bitch now.'

'I-' Ichigo started to speak but cut himself off as a choking sound rose in his throat. 'I have to- have to obey or,' he tried to swallow the heavy lump that had settled in his throat, and his next words came out in a hollow whisper. 'I can't take it, I'm not strong enough.'

Grimmjow sneered as he released Ichigo's face to grab his shoulders with both hands, gripping him firmly and giving him a harsh shake.

'So what'd he do to you eh? Torture? You're not the type to cave so easily to a little bit of pain.' As if to illustrate this point the espada curled his hands, digging his sharp claw-like nails into the shinigami's shoulders. As he did so the neck of Ichigo's robes slipped a little, exposing a bruising bite mark littering the base of his neck. Frowning, he leaned in closer to bring their faces to within an inch of each other. He regarded the bruises painting Ichigo's neck, the boy's pouty abused lips, that bite mark and something clicked in the arrancar's mind.

Grimmjow moved to run his nose along the curve of Ichigo's neck, an action that would've normally drawn a shudder and a string of curses from the boy, now however Ichigo barely flinched. He inhaled deeply, taking in the musky scent of the boy intermingled with the smell of blood and a sharp aroma that the espada could not fail to recognise.

'I can smell him on you shinigami.' He hissed as his teal eyes narrowed. 'I gotta admit that's a new low even for him… Did he rape you?' he whispered cruelly in his ear, relishing the way the boy's shoulders stiffened beneath his fingers, those ochre eyes finally widening in fear and pain. Much better. Ichigo's breath caught in his throat as he choked on some rising emotion before squashing it back down inside of himself.

'Did he make you scream Ichigo? Hmm?' Grimmjow murmured, planting harsh kisses along Ichigo's neck as he moved to straddle him, pleased that he had found a new way to defeat and humiliate him. 'Did he torment your body in unimaginable ways? Is that how he broke you?' The espada laughed against the shinigami's skin. 'You little slut.' he hissed as he nibbled along the arc of Ichigo's delicate earlobes, running hands down over his chest. 'I bet you loved every minute of it didn't you?'

'No!' something close to emotion jumped in Ichigo's voice before rapidly fading away to a blank monotone. 'No. I… He…' His eyes slipped close and Grimmjow felt the boy tense beneath him. 'Nobody is supposed to touch me except Aizen-sama.'

'Stop me then.' Grimmjow challenged as he slipped a hand under Ichigo's robes, running his fingers along the scar tissue that marked the boy's chest.

'I… I can't.' Ichigo almost sighed, his voice bearing a resigned tone of submission. His body tried to disobey his mind, muscles continuing to tense under Grimmjow's fingers. 'I can't stop you.'

'Tch, grow a fucking backbone.' Grimmjow growled, flicking a finger over Ichigo's chest before withdrawing his hands to clench the front of the boy's robes and pull him closer. 'You're pathetic shinigami.' he spat, 'You're not even worth killing anymore and you're definitely not worth fighting.' He disentangled their bodies as he stood, scuffing his feet along the floor as he moved to leave without another glance at the impassive boy.

'I can't believe I considered you my rival.' Grimmjow murmured the parting blow as he exited the room, not noticing the way Ichigo twitched and blinked as those words were spoken. For a good while after that, the shinigami boy didn't move a muscle save for the unconscious rising and falling of his chest as his addled brain processed what had just happened. After some minutes Ichigo shifted in his seat, slowing bending his legs and drawing his knees up to press against his chest. He curled his arms around his legs and sat like that, frozen in his seat until a single solitary tear sneaked from an unblinking eye and rolled down his cheek.

He didn't know how long it had been since the moment he saw the spillage of his dear friend's blood, he was living in a suspended state of reality now and time seemed to move differently until it lost any meaning that it once held. Something had broken within him that day and had continued to fracture as the days passed. He now lived as a mere remnant of his former self, Grimmjow's taunts had made him remember this somewhere in the back of his mind and the pain was returning, slowing but surely pushing in past the psychological boundaries that had been set in his mind. Ichigo pressed his hands against his forehead, trying to block out the pain, trying to block out everything but he could feel the panic rising in his chest, and somehow it felt good. It had been so long since he had felt anything; even pain seemed to lose its knife edge in Ichigo's skewed reality.

'What's the matter pet?' the panic rising in Ichigo's body froze over as the anaesthetic numbness that always flooded his body in the presence of Aizen overcame him. He forced himself to relax, letting his arms drop to his side and his feet fall back to the floor as he uncurled his body.

'Nothing, Aizen-sama.' He responded blankly. In the presence of this man he preferred to stay silent, but he knew that to ignore a direct question from his master would be incredibly foolish.

'Is that so?' In the blink of an eye Aizen flash stepped from the doorway where he stood over to where Ichigo sat. 'I think you're lying to me Ichigo…' He grabbed the boy's wrist in a grip tight enough to cut off the blood circulation. 'You know I don't like it when you lie to me.'

'I-it was Grimmjow! Ichigo cried out, more frightened by being touched so suddenly than the pain of having his wrist squeezed. 'H-he touched me…' He muttered, 'I couldn't stop him.'

'I see… What a pity.' Aizen tugged on his arm suddenly, pulling him from his seat to fall on his knees upon the ground. Ichigo's expression didn't change even with the sudden pain shooting up his legs and through his arms as he was pulled upright into a standing position. Strong arms encircled him, pulling him until he was pressed against the traitor in what could almost be described as an embrace.

But when those hands tangled in his hair, shivers did not run down his spine.

'What did you let him do to you?' Aizen whispered as he pressed lips to Ichigo's exposed neck, tasting flesh that had been defiled by the touch of another.

And when those lips pressed against his skin, he did not shudder.

'You know that you belong to me only.'

As Aizen sunk his teeth into his neck, Ichigo did not cry out in pain. And he did not protest when his lips were caught in a domineering kiss. The table dug into the small of his back as he was pushed backwards against it and even though those hands were roaming his body to divest him of his white cloth, he did not fight back. When the kiss deepened, Aizen's tongue working its way into his mouth to caress his own muscle, the thought of biting down on it didn't even cross his mind.

He was suddenly spun around, pushed forward over the table with that warm body pressing up against him, his clothing discarded upon the floor, and he wasn't even embarrassed by the thought that anyone could just walk in and see what was happening to him. He didn't flinch at the coldness of Aizen's hands as they swept over his chest, pinching and stroking his tender skin, and the sound of clothes falling from the other man's body didn't cause panic to bubble up in his chest.

When fingers penetrated him and his already raw skin was stretched he did not plead for it to stop. And when he felt Aizen push inside of him unprepared, tearing his already damaged entrance he did not scream. When he heard his master whispering obscenities in his ears, nibbling the tender lobes and massaging his chest with those cold hands he still felt nothing. No pain, no pleasure, no fear, no disgust, no shame. There was nothing resembling emotion, he was empty, he was hollow.

But as he felt the traitor thrust roughly in and out of him, another sly tear escaped down his cheek, and somewhere deep in his subconscious he knew he was screaming.

He felt Aizen's release, disgustingly warm and sticky but there was no revulsion even as the lord pulled out of him and left him bent uncomfortably over the table. He had learned not to move until given permission, and only once Aizen had re-dressed himself was it given.

'Get up Ichigo.' He smirked, 'And get dressed, I'm taking you to the laboratory.'

'Yes Aizen-sama.' He spoke in that same unaffected monotone as he stood and pulled his clothes back on, trying in vain to clear up the mess left on his upper thighs.

'Come along pet.' Aizen commanded as he turned to leave.

And Ichigo did not even think to disobey him.

---

If he had still had the want in him to do so, Ichigo would've stared in wonder at the contents of the pink hair lunatic's laboratory. As it was he'd wandered through most of the rooms with his head down, eyes fixed on the ground and the feet of the one whom he was following. He was now sitting on what looked like an operating table in what looked like an operating theatre, the walls lined with painful looking implements, some of which he vaguely thought he recognised from his time spent with Gin and his little tools of torture. The flamboyant octava was poking and prodding him with interest, making all sorts of nasty little comments that fell upon deaf ears. Aizen stood in the background watching over the proceedings with a detached kind of interest.

'Well?' Aizen questioned. Ichigo himself had no clue what he was doing here. Not that it mattered, he barely knew what was going on half the time anyway and as it was he had no say in the proceedings even if he did know what was happening.

'I don't know Aizen-sama.' Szayel murmured as he examined the restrictive collar around Ichigo's neck. 'I created this reiatsu constraining device using the blueprints of those used previously but-' he cut himself off as something occurred to him. 'With respect my lord, should we really be discussing this in front of him?' he questioned, motioning towards Ichigo.

'It is fine, Szayel Aporro.' Aizen replied, 'He no longer has the will to retaliate.'

'I see…' Szayel coughed a little to cover his cynicism. 'Well at this rate the collar is not going to hold out much longer. The amount of reiatsu this boy is releasing is exponential. Most shinigami would expend all of their reiatsu and be held within the device forever, but this boys power is like a bottomless pit, if he doesn't run out soon then the device will break, and I shudder to think what would happen if all that energy is released at once.'

Aizen appeared to contemplate this information for a moment, and Ichigo would have done if the same if he was able. As it was he couldn't remember the last time he'd had a fully coherent thought, one that he was sure was his entirely. But again in his unconscious mind, bells were ringing and something was stirring.

'Can you create a new one?' Aizen asked.

'I can try, but it's difficult to create the device for him specifically without first knowing the limits of his reiatsu.' Szayel replied, secretly proud that he was being asked to do this important task for Aizen.

'I trust you will do your best.' Aizen replied with more than a trace of smirk on his face. 'Thank you octava, you may leave us now.' A nerve twitched in the espada's forehead, irritation swelling at the fact that he was being ordered out of his own rooms. But Szayel was no fool, he like all the others knew better than to go against Aizen even on a matter as small as this.

'Yes Aizen-sama.' He dipped his head in a curt bow before leaving with more than a trace of huffiness about him.

'Ichigo.' Aizen spoke, the silent command for him to start paying full attention not going unnoticed.

'Yes, Aizen-sama?' Ichigo replied, turning dulled eyes towards the brunette now standing directly in front of him. Aizen smirked a little, the novelty of hearing the furiously defiant boy say those words had not yet faded.

'Do you know what it is to become hollow, Ichigo?' he asked quietly, not meaning for Ichigo to give an answer. 'It is to become nothing, a primitive life form no better than a mindless beast, caring only about feeding on other souls. Hollows are born out of pain; love and hatred binding a soul to the World of the Living… They live in torment and filth until they are destroyed, by shinigami or others of their kind.' He paused for a moment, taking Ichigo's face in his hands as he stared into deadened eyes.

'When I turn you, you will not become like them. You will be a fully-fledged arrancar. All your precious memories will leave; you will have no emotion, no concept of love or companionship. You will have no friends, no comrades, no family, but you will not be as you are now. You will not be silent and broken; you will be finally be free. Ichigo, imagine it, no more pain, no more guilt or shame or such destructive emotion as love. You will fight no longer for those too weak to defend themselves, you will leave it all behind and fight only for me and yourself.' Aizen smiled, a gesture of false truths and fake promises as he leaned in to brush his lips against the impassive ones of the shinigami. 'And in your mind it will always have been that way, you will not remember this life and you will hurt no longer.'

Something rose in Ichigo's throat, he tried to swallow but it felt like his windpipe was being crushed from within. The air went out of his lungs and he swayed a little upon the table and if not for the arms holding him he would have fallen.

'What's the matter pet?' Aizen smirked, his voice laced with fake concern.

'I… I don't…' Ichigo gasped for breath as tears threatened at the corner of his eyes. 'I don't want to forget. I don't want to lose them.'

'Shh shh pet.' Aizen hushed, keeping up the façade of compassion. 'Don't cry, it will all be over soon, I promise.' His smirk grew even wider then as Ichigo choked on his own sorrow.

'My my.' Aizen mocked, wiping a tear from the boy's cheek. 'See what I mean, these feelings will only destroy you.' He cradled Ichigo's limp body in his arms, petting him like a child as the boy wrestled with his emotions.

They stayed that way for a few moments, until something seemed to catch the lord's attention from far off. Ichigo blinked in surprise as he was pushed back from the cold embrace. Aizen cocked his head a little, as though he was trying to listen to some far away sound. A satisfied smile crept over his face.

'So it is finally happening.' He murmured, an odd kind of delight evident in his voice. He took Ichigo's wrist and pulled him from the table, 'Follow me pet, you won't want to miss this.' Ichigo's heart dropped into his stomach, whatever was making the lord so excited could not bode well for him in any way. Not that it mattered, he'd given up long ago; all hope dying as he watched his friends and family perish before him.

He'd eventually come to understand that it was illusionary, he knew what Aizen's sword release could do but he'd never expected it to be so realistic. The desired effect was still achieved, even if his comrades were still alive it mattered not for now he knew what the man could do to them if he so wished. He'd seen his father and baby sisters gutted in front of his eyes, he'd watched countless ranks of his friends and comrades cut down and he'd watched the man he loved defeated and tortured until he screamed for death. And Orihime… He didn't know if what he'd seen was truly her or not, and Aizen wasn't telling. That question tormented Ichigo constantly, even when he was not fully aware of it. Even now, being dragged along the bleached corridors to meet whatever sick fate was making Aizen so pleased, his mind was focused fully on one thing.

Them.

He could take this, he could suffer anything if it meant they'd be safe. Renji called his self-sacrificing attitude 'selfish' and 'insulting', and he supposed it was. But if he had to be selfish to keep them safe then so be it. Even if they hated him for it…

He felt Aizen release his wrist and looking up realised that he had been brought to the throne room. He hadn't been here since the first day, when he'd been carried in unconscious and dumped unceremoniously at the lord's feet. It seemed so long ago, a moment buried in the past along with his former self.

'Sit.' Aizen commanded as he took up his seat upon the throne. A quick glance around showed that there were no other seats in the room, so he sat down on the uncomfortable floor at the base of the Lord's chair, crossing his legs and bowing his head to stare at the white ground. He felt Aizen reach down and tangle a hand in his hair, petting him like some domesticated animal. But there was not enough left of him to feel any humiliation. He didn't think there was enough of him left to feel anything. There was no pain when he was hit and cut and torn, no fear when he was threatened. There was no disgust when he was touched, when he was teased and erotic whispers rung in his ears he was neither aroused nor shamed, and when he was degraded he felt no indignity. His emotions were kept locked in a cage, trapped in the back of his mind and even more than feeling nothing he feared what would happen if the cage was sprung; the torrent of emotion to burst out and overcome him like a tidal wave. He let his eyes slide shut as he felt lethargy overtaking him, that damned collar draining what little energy he had left.

At the corner of his mind Ichigo heard quiet footsteps entering the room. But he was not concerned, he'd already been demeaned before all the residents of the palace, shown to be no more than a pet on a leash to his master. He felt the hand upon his head tense a little in anticipation as Aizen spoke,

'How nice to finally see you again… old friend.' An undercurrent of humour rang in that velvet voice, 'What brings you here?'

'Don't play your games with me Sosuke.' The reply came from an unseen but in no way unknown figure. 'You know why I'm here.'

The familiar voice froze Ichigo to his core, emotion screaming behind cage doors. His eyes snapped open and for a moment he was frozen, he could not lift his eyes from the floor, he could not bring himself to look at who was standing there. His whole body trembled, tendrils of terror escaping from their confines to wrap around his throat. He felt the grip on his hair tighten and as his hair was pulled and his head forced upwards it took everything left in him not to cry out as he saw who was standing there.

'You are here for this I assume?' malice dripped from Aizen's voice. Ichigo's wide eyes swam with fevered emotion as they stared into the too familiar shaded grey pair that regarded the two of them with pained fury.

Ichigo spoke then, for the first time in a long time not waiting for permission to do so. His voice cracked with restrained emotion, joy and terror and hopelessness colliding as he whispered,

'…Kisuke?'