Shinigami Women's Secret Society

Alrighty. This is Part 1 of Chapter 9. It was just getting toooo long. I know it’s been forever, but you guys rock for bearing with me.

Thank you to Akaiiii for reminding me to post this. It's been done forever. 0_o Don't kill me!!! I just always forget to update on here...REMIND ME...THREATEN ME!!! Whatever you have to do. Actually they next three chapters are done so I'll get them up for you guys. PROMISE!!!

This chapter was Beta’d by Mishiko Shinsei and Tomas the Betrayer over on FF.net…They Rock

-o0o-

Over a dozen women sat in stupefied disbelief as Yoruichi Shihoin's complete and utter sexual subjugation unfolded onscreen. Between all the screaming, begging and cursing, no one could think of a single thing to say. Only when it looked to be winding down did they find their voices.

"Holy shit! How'd he know you were out there?" Nel questioned, turning to Lisa. The Visored shrugged. She'd wondered the same thing. The camera had gone crashing to the ground as soon as she heard Shunsui call her name. Otherwise she might have taken him up on that offer, just for the memories.

"I want to worship at the altar of Shunsui," Rangiku mumbled in an almost reverent voice.

Yoruichi rolled her eyes. "Shut up."

"He'll never let me live this down." Lisa put her head in her palm.

"He'll never let you live it down," Kukaku snapped mockingly. "What about his new daughter over here?" Yoruichi flinched and a couple of the ladies snickered. "Daddy," Kukaku spat in disgust.

The once supreme head of their all-female cabal hung her head in shame. Watching the video had only made her feel worse. She didn't regret what she'd done. It was too awesome to ever deny…she just didn't want anyone else to see it. "What do you want me to say?" Yoruichi snapped. This was almost too embarrassing, even for her. "I'm sorry."

"You got that right. A sorry piece of shit."

"Well, damn," Rangiku laughed. "A little jealous there, Kaku?"

Shiba waved the blonde off. "No! Not only did she fail her mission… but she went out like a bitch," Kukaku continued, unable to believe what she'd just seen.

"What was I supposed to do?" Yoruichi questioned, honestly wanting to know.

"At least fail with some dignity," her hot-headed friend snapped. "For god's sake, Yo, you begged him to stop. Would it have killed you to make him cum one time?"

"I was tired," she complained. "He's like a robot."

Kukaku snorted. "He schooled your ass."

"He really did," Rangiku agreed.

Yoruichi's face reddened against her will. They were right. He'd made her feel like she hadn't a clue what she was doing. And to be honest, she'd loved every minute of it.

"Awww, look, she's blushing! I think somebody has a little crush," Rangiku giggled. The violet-haired captain quirked an eyebrow, before proceeding to punch Ran in the stomach.

"Owwww," the busty lieutenant coughed. "You're gonna regret that," she rasped from her keeled over position.

"I doubt it," Yoruichi retorted with a self-satisfied smirk.

"It's nothing to be ashamed about," Unohana piped up. "This is Shunsui we're talking about. He's been around a long time, and he's experienced things most of us have never even heard of." She smiled amiably. "I would be proud if I were you. I've known Captain Kyoraku a long time and while he is a determined flirt, there are very few that can boast ever actually being invited into his bed." The regal captain chuckled lightly. "I daresay I would have failed as well."

Kukaku stared blankly at the healer before plopping down in her seat. "Way to take the fun out of it, Retsu."

"Just trying to help," Unohana shrugged. "It doesn't change the fact that Captain Shihoin must pay the price for failing." This time her smile sent a chill up Yoruichi's spine. The shape-shifter groaned, not even wanting to think about what her consequences would be.

"Okay everyone, take a seat." Rangiku clapped her hands, now fully recovered. "There will be plenty of time to make fun of Yoruichi later. And as far as your punishment goes, I'll leave that to Kukaku." She shot Yoruichi a smug grin as the shocked members began to whisper. If Kukaku had been put in charge of Yoruichi's penalty, it was definitely going to be bad.

The lights were cut and the words 'Thriving in Social Situations' flashed on the projector screen. More excited whispering followed at the revelation of their next erotic topic. Meanwhile, Yoruichi groaned and slid down in her seat in an attempt to vanish from sight. 'Why me?' she thought.

"Shut the hell up so we can finish. We've still got to go upstairs and finish the decorations," Kukaku announced when the chatter didn't die down immediately. "It's my shindig tonight, and everybody needs to get makeovers."

She grinned when almost the entire room began to exclaim at once. Kukaku had laid down some pretty strict rules for the select few that she'd deemed worthy to invite to her little gathering. One such rule was, 'No Shinigami garb allowed'. "Don't wear that shit or I won't let you in," the birthday girl had declared. Now she was eager to take advantage of her special day. "I want ya'll to look like the hookers you are."

"What do you mean ya'll?" Rangiku questioned. She smiled sweetly. "You're getting one too!"

This new development caused a very ugly look to settle on the one-armed warrior's face.

"Like hell I am." Shiba jumped from her seat in protest. There was no way she was going to allow Yoruichi to dress her. And Rangiku wasn't about to touch her hair. "Why would I permit anything as stupid as that?"

"Because we're your friends!"

Rangiku's cheerful beaming face looked eerily reminiscent of her old boy-toy. Kukaku decided it was time to lay down the law. "You're nuts if you think I'm gonna…"

"You'll do whatever we tell you to. Now sit down!"

Surprised by the blonde's unexpectedly stern tone, the birthday girl took a seat. Rangiku rushed through the lesson, leaving everyone a little confused about exactly what it was they were supposed to be learning. "The mission this week is to have sex in a public place. Okay, now let's move upstairs. We've got a lot of things to do."

The group looked on in confusion as she sauntered by.

"Whose turn is it, dipshit?" Kukaku asked lovingly, already rising from her seat.

"Oh, right." Rangiku stopped and rummaged around in her cleavage. She removed the list and called out loud, "Isane Kotetsu." Her twinkling blue eyes roamed around until they located the person in question. "Let's go, Legs. It's your turn."

There was a collective gasp as the lieutenant slowly got to her feet, a panicked expression on her face. 'Sex in public? How can they be so casual about this?'

"Hurry, Isane," her captain urged. "We have a long night ahead of us."

She nodded and made her way to the front, hesitantly picking out the name of the man who would take her innocence. 'Please let it be someone nice, Isane prayed as she reached into the chest. 'Like Love, or even Ichigo. So what if he haymakered me the first time we met? Still better than…'

When she laid her eyes on what was scrawled across the slip of paper a lump formed in her throat. 'Oh gods,' she thought. Isane told herself not to panic, but her body wouldn't listen. This couldn't be the person with whom she spent her first time. Not that there was anything wrong with him. Physically. He was a good-looking man to be sure, but she might as well have withdrawn a smoking stick of dynamite from the chest. Her breathing was slowly becoming erratic.

"I believe she's hyperventilating," Nemu stated calmly, pointing out the inner mayhem their associate was obviously experiencing.

"Who the hell'd she pick? Ômaeda?" Kukaku cackled.

"God, I hope not," Sui-Feng turned up her nose in disgust.

"It is," Rangiku answered grimly as she peeked over Isane's shoulder.

"WHAT!" the second division captain screeched. Every jaw in the room hit the floor.

"Are you fucking shitting me?" Kukaku asked, wide-eyed.

"Yes," Rangiku giggled. "It's much better, now let's go. Everybody upstairs. I'll tell you on the way."

Rangiku and Kukaku herded the women up the ladder, ignoring any questioning whispers. Isane had to be practically dragged with them since she was stiff with shock. The paper fell from her numb fingers, fluttering to the ground.

Written across it was one word: 'Grimmjow'.

Week 8: Isane Kotetsu and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez

Mission: Thriving in Social Situations – Life of the Party

Just as Rangiku said, there was a lot to do. While Unohana, Rukia and Orihime set up the delicious-looking food, Rangiku and Yoruichi assembled a makeshift beauty shop in the flash goddess' bedroom. Matsumoto had gone to the world of the living earlier in the week with instructions from Yoruichi to get outfits for every last member of the society, to their chagrin. Kukaku was busy erecting the poles, and Nel, Sui-Feng and Lisa cleared out the space that was to be used for the dance floor.

Needless to say, no one noticed a moping Isane, who sat alone in a corner on the verge of tears.

The night before, Rangiku had forced the group to go to the world of the living to take an exotic dance class. Surprisingly, instead of being a complete disaster like most of them thought it would be, the class was both informative and enjoyable. Hors d'oeuvres and saké were provided as they were taught by actual dancers in the art of the lap dance, the pole dance and the striptease.

To everyone's amazement, Lisa, Nemu and Sui-Feng were naturals on the pole. The instructor herself said they looked like professionals. After which, Kukaku declared that the three of them would dance for her at the party, and that they needed to find a way to get some poles into Yoruichi's house. Sui-Feng had vehemently refused, but as always Yoruichi stepped in, making her former student do yet another thing she would regret at a later time.

As expected Rangiku and Yoruichi excelled at the striptease, and surprisingly so did Orihime. When it came to the chair dance everyone did pretty well except Momo and the usually graceful Rukia who couldn't get used to the platform heels their instructor made them wear. Once they took them off though, it was smooth sailing.

Isane, however, had been unable to meet the exacting standards of either their instructor or, even worse, Yoruichi. She had been forced to endure several humiliating efforts thanks to Unohana's gentle coaxing. But the thought of doing something like that in public, much less before any men, had unnerved her so greatly, she couldn't stop shaking. And that was before she had been saddled with the task of pleasuring Grimmjow.

Coming to terms with the fact that she was going to lose her virginity to the bloodthirsty former sixth Espada was pretty much impossible… and out in the open. Did Rangiku and Yoruichi hate her? What had she done to deserve this?

"Hey, Legs," a cranky voice called out. She didn't look up immediately, not quite used to hearing the nickname.

"Yo," the voice called again. She'd barely turned her head when a bag of screws hit her in the face. Kukaku was glaring at her. "I need you," the noble barked.

Retrieving the projectile, Isane nodded politely and made her way to the bandaged woman who was struggling at the top of a ladder. "Help me put these things up," Kukaku commanded, pointing to the twelve-foot brass pole in her hand.

Isane's shoulders slumped further. "Do I have to? I really don't feel up to it." She rolled the pole on the floor with her foot.

"What's with the long face?" Kukaku scoffed. "I should be the one complaining. You get to bone Grimmjow." She watched Isane's frown deepen and snorted. "Just hold the pole still so I can drill it in."

The lieutenant nodded absently, too preoccupied with trying to figure out what to do. In the weeks that had passed since the start of the society, she had to admit that she'd loosened up a lot, even started to have a little fun. Then again, that was when all the pressure had been on somebody else. Now her turn had come, and the tall wallflower was finally starting to realize exactly what she had gotten herself into. Could she really go through with something like this?

"Get the next one ready while I screw this to the ground." Kukaku jumped down off the ladder, startling Isane from her reverie. She shoved the lieutenant away with a roll of her eyes. Isane knew the woman was only teasing her, but under the circumstances it seemed a little cruel. She picked up the second pole and padded away.

It took Kukaku no time at all to finish up and join Isane across the floor, dragging the ladder behind her. They erected the second pole in silence, Isane off in her own world and Kukaku sneering down at her despairing comrade. Just as they finished, the leggy lieutenant was called along with Momo to go back to Rangiku and Yoruichi's makeshift salon.

"Get outta here," Kukaku huffed. "Looking at your face is making me want to hit it." Isane hung her head and shuffled to the back as the Shiba leader yelled out, "Somebody get me a drink. Now!"

-o0o-

Yoruichi's bedroom looked like her closet had exploded. Clothes were everywhere. Some even seemed to be hanging from the ceiling. As soon as Isane entered, she was grabbed by the arm and hastily pushed down into Rangiku's chair.

"Now what can I do with this?" The cheerful beauty ran a hand through shaggy silver locks.

Isane looked around. Mashiro was over in the corner talking to her reflection in the mirror. Her usual white bodysuit had been replaced with hot pink jeans and a tank top that had just about every color known to man on it. The outfit was a little loud, which Isane assumed was why it seemed to suit the Visored perfectly.

"These jeans make my butt look big," the green-haired pixie whined.

"Your butt is big," Yoruichi responded flatly. "Now go help set up. Love should be here any minute."

That meant music. Yoruichi had heard from Shinji that one of Love's many hobbies while in the human world was DJ-ing. Isane couldn't say that she was surprised. The former seventh division captain was one of the coolest people she'd ever met. A hundred years in exile was a long time. He needed to keep busy somehow.

"He's never on time," Mashiro explained as she turned around to face the rest of the women in the room. "And I want my hair done."

"Your hair is fine," Rangiku commented, still trying to decide on something for Isane.

"Love's here and I need a drink." Kukaku barged in, interrupting the ladies' conversation. Her eyes landed on Isane with a huff. "Get her one too." She pointed to the downcast lieutenant, making her turn red with embarrassment. "Her face is pissing me off."

"I'm sorry," Isane mumbled. This was all just too much. She didn't want to ruin Kukaku's birthday. She'd actually been looking forward to it ever since Yoruichi had mentioned it to the group a few weeks ago, but there was no way she was having sex in public. She wanted her first time to be perfect, preferably in private, with someone she loved, not Grimmjow….

"Leave her alone," Yoruichi snapped. She didn't know what was going on, but it was highly improbable that Isane had done anything wrong. It was Isane after all.

"What's the problem?" Rangiku was leaning over the shy woman's shoulder. Isane blushed furiously, but said nothing. She groaned as her captain entered the room. Why didn't they just call everyone back here to mock her?

"All the food is set up and I showed Love where he should place his equipment. Is there anything else you need done?" Retsu paused upon seeing everyone gathered around her second seat.

"What's going on?"

Isane could ignore everyone but her captain. She slowly raised her gaze to meet her teacher's. As always Unohana's small concerned smile broke her fragile resolve, so that she found herself whispering, "I'm a virgin."

"Huh?" Kukaku leaned in closer.

"I'm a virgin," the humiliated woman repeated a tad louder.

"Oh," was the only response she received from Matsumoto at her back.

"Is that all?" Kukaku snorted. "I'm handicapped. I win."

Mashiro laughed loudly, earning her a glare from Yoruichi. "Sorry." The Visored promptly covered her mouth.

Rangiku couldn't say she was surprised by this information, but it had honestly never occurred to her before then. She could see Isane's dilemma. No normal woman would want their first time to be in front of a group of people, some of which were her superiors. She'd been in such a rush to get ready for the party she hadn't stopped to think. "How about we change your mission?" Rangiku suggested, looking to Yoruichi. "I mean, it is a little harsh…for her. Don't you think?"

Isane looked up, eyes full of hope. Yoruichi thought it over a moment. She was certain this wasn't the only inexperienced girl in the group. Perhaps their more seasoned members should discuss teaching some of the basics for the next few weeks. It would obviously be beneficial for Isane and a couple others. Rukia and Nanao came to mind. Although she hated to do it, Yoruichi supposed the society could relent this one time. Everyone wasn't like her and Kukaku. Plus something like this would scar the gentle healer for life. "I'm fine with it," she finally answered with a shrug.

Isane gave a breath of relief. There was a god.

"Boo, you guys suck. It's not that big a deal," Kukaku huffed.

"Oh, come on, Kaku," Rangiku said, squeezing the grateful medic's shoulder reassuringly. "Give her a break."

The birthday girl rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"I'd have to agree with Lady Shiba," came a terrifyingly familiar voice. "Lieutenant Kotetsu will do the mission, and she will do it tonight."

Isane's head snapped around, a horrified expression on her face. A few feet away Unohana Retsu wore that same beatific smile she always affected, as if she had not just condemned her subordinate to a living hell. How could her cherished captain betray her like this?

"Hell, yeah," Shiba cheered, throwing a wooden arm around Unohana's shoulders.

"Well, I guess that's the end of that," announced a surprised Yoruichi.

"Don't worry, Isane," the fourth division captain spoke again, obviously not affected by the prosthetic limb draped over her small body. "We'll all be here to help you." That motherly smile did little to comfort her. For the first time in their relationship, Isane was seeing her captain for what she really was… a smiling demon.

Suddenly Rangiku dashed from the room, but in a few seconds she returned with every member following behind her. Isane buried her face in her palms, wishing she could cry. Things were getting worse by the minute.

When the last person squeezed in, Yoruichi started. "Okay, everyone listen up. Isane's doing her mission tonight." She paused to allow for the gasps and whispers to die down before continuing. "I want everyone to help out in any way they can. I know some of you aren't experienced in being, uh…experienced, but just do what you can, okay? This is a big night for her." They all nodded, still a little shocked.

"More like the worst night of my life," the silver-haired lieutenant mumbled into her hands.

"We're ready and willing to help our sister in ravishing an unsuspecting male!" Mashiro declared brightly. Every woman in the room nodded and Isane rolled her eyes at the thought of asking the ditzy Visored for advice about anything, much less this.

"This is gonna be so fun," Rangiku squealed happily, slapping her on the back in a playful manner. "Okay, everybody out. We've got a little over an hour before people start arriving and we need to be ready." She started shooing the women from the room as she yanked Isane from her seat, pushing her to Yoruichi.

"What about my hair?" the startled woman asked her golden-headed hairdresser.

"It's fine the way it is. We're pressed for time and something tells me I'll need more than a few minutes to tackle that inky squid Rukia calls a hairdo." Rangiku laughed at Isane's half-hearted smile as she was practically attacked by Yoruichi, who in turn handed her a pile of clothes to try on.

As the women continued to file out, Kukaku stopped her violet-haired friend in her tracks. "Don't think I forgot about you failing your mission, Yo."

All the ladies stopped, spinning to face their Vice-President. Yoruichi's eyes rolled in annoyance. The princess of Shiba only sneered at this defiant attitude. "I don't know what it's gonna be yet, but it's gonna be tonight. I'll let you know when it's time." Kukaku shot her friend a smug grin before throwing an arm around Unohana once again and exiting the room.

Rangiku shook her head as she readied herself for her next client. "Nanao!" she called.

-o0o-

Thankfully by the time people started arriving, everything was more or less set. Rose, Shuhei, and Kira were the first to arrive. Yoruichi and Unohana were still in the back getting ready, but Rangiku seemed eminently capable of being the perfect hostess. Wearing a slinky green Chinese dress that could barely cover her awe-inspiring endowments, she greeted them accordingly. "Welcome, gentlemen! The festivities are about to begin! Shoes are optional, as are pants. Be prepared to lose yours."

A cup of Gentleman Jack was immediately forced into their hands by Nemu in the guise of a French maid. Kira eyed her curiously before taking in the very different appearances of the rest of his female colleagues, his face heating up in the process.

"Why are you all dressed like this?" he questioned the Research division's second seat.

"It was required," Nemu answered simply. She then turned and clicked away in her shiny black high-heels. As she left, all three of the men gazed appreciatively at her shapely legs adorned in fishnet stockings. Despite having seen them bare often enough, somehow this way just seemed infinitely more wanton.

"Looks like this is gonna be some party," Shuhei elbowed Kira, wagging his eyebrows.

"Indeed," Rose agreed before gliding off towards Love and the DJ table.

Ichigo, Uryu, Chad and Renji came soon after. After that, the guests arrived at a steady pace.

Surprisingly, it stayed pretty tame considering whose party it was. That is, until the Fun Bunch arrived.

A hush fell over the room as Shunsui strode in, fully aware of the odd looks he was receiving. Attributing this to his strange attire he dutifully ignored it, continuing across the room to a large empty table. Following behind him came Ukitake, Starrk, Kisuke, and Shinji. All of them were dressed in roughly the same unusual raiment as Shunsui.

Momentarily forgetting about her problems, Isane watched from the shadows, practically drooling as the group leisurely made their way past the buffet table and took their seats.

Moments later, Nemu was serving them drinks. Isane couldn't help but laugh at the way they all openly eyed the twelfth squad lieutenant's new look. Even she had only seen her friend out of uniform once or twice.

"Are you going to mope all night?" asked an irritatingly cheery voice from behind her.

Isane didn't bother turning around. She knew who it was. "I'm busy," she responded in a fairly authoritative manner, still devouring the new arrivals with her eyes.

Rangiku pulled at her arm in an effort to rouse her from that spot. Isane resisted, shaking her head profusely. Either the other woman hadn't noticed the incredible display of masculine appeal or she was blind stinking drunk. A lack of alcohol on her breath told Isane it was probably the former, but she had no desire to divide her own attention off that robust assemblage long enough to cue Rangiku in.

The gorgeous lush pursed her lips in a saucy moue that had driven many a man to their knees.

"Do you want me to go get Captain Unohana?"

That got her attention. Isane's head snapped around. "You wouldn't dare."

"I would dare," Rangiku answered, eyes narrowing at her trembling target. She gave the woman another tug and this time she stood, albeit reluctantly. With a sigh, Isane dropped her chin remorsefully, in the process coming face-to-face with her own bountiful bosom. Yoruichi had forced her into a one-piece short set that made her feel practically naked. The shorts were living up to their name in the worst way, and the top was halter style, bright red and showing cleavage enough to make a hooker proud.

She looked down on the blonde lieutenant with a frown. Despite being topped by a good six inches of height, Rangiku showed no sign of being intimidated. She simply winked up at her tall comrade, took her by the hand and proceeded to drag her over to the bar.

"Ok, what'll it be?" she asked the sulking social shut-in.

"Holy shit!" screamed a voice from across the room.

Recognizing it as Kukaku, Rangiku and Isane spun around. "She can't be drunk already. We're barely getting started," the blonde whined. Then she gave a violent start. Isane smiled a trifle smugly. ‘Noticed it now, did we?’

The lieutenants watched as Kukaku strode across the room towards the large table full of men dressed in their…"Togas," Rangiku exclaimed in an almost orgasmic rumble. Her jaw hit the floor. How could she have missed that? Kisuke, Shunsui, Starrk… in togas? Her head turned to Isane. "Do you see this?" she asked rhetorically.

Isane just glared at her. "I'm going back to my spot. It had a perfect view." She got up and strode off.

"You didn't even get a drink," Matsumoto called after her.

"Bring it to me," Isane shouted back, not bothering to turn around. She'd intended to return to her little corner where she could be out of sight and still enjoy the view, but she never made it. Halfway across the room, in walked Captain Zaraki, followed by Kensei, Ikkaku, Yumichika and finally…Grimmjow.

Isane's eyes widened. She turned and ran like a bat out of hell, not bothering to stop until she was in an unfamiliar part of the Shihoin manor. Her heart felt like it would beat out of her chest.

"I can't do this," she murmured on the verge of tears.

"Isane!" someone called from behind her. The lieutenant turned with a start. Kukaku had followed her. That hateful woman. She looked around frantically for somewhere to hide, but it was too late. She was trapped.

"Legs! Get your ass back out here. I need your help with something," Shiba grinned devilishly.

Isane turned to face the one-armed devil, drawing on whatever wellsprings of resolve she could claim to possess. "There are at least thirty people out there now. Ask one of them."

Shiba stared at her in a most intimidating way. Those aforementioned wellsprings dried up pretty fast under the burning sun of that nasty glare. "Why does it have to be me?" Isane huffed.

"It just does," Kukaku snapped. She snatched the towering woman's arm, dragging her back down the hall and into the main room, ignoring Isane's protests. In the middle of the floor was Grimmjow. Isane squeezed her eyes shut as if that would stop the nightmare from continuing.

Kukaku walked right up to the turquoise-haired Arrancar and swung Isane around her body. Thankfully the lieutenant was able to stop before she crashed into the former Espada, who already looked a little perturbed.

"Help her move that pole about three feet to the right," Shiba demanded. "You can drink yourself into a coma afterwards." Kukaku tried her hardest to look serious. The fact was, nothing was wrong with where the poles were now. She just wanted to watch Isane squirm, and after seeing the virgin's mortified expression, she decided it was worth it.

"I didn't come here to work," he spat. "I thought this was a party."

"What's wrong with where it is?" Isane practically whined.

"Yeah. Fuck I look like, a hired hand?" Grimmjow snarled. "Get Ichigo to do it." He turned away from the two women and made a beeline for the bar.

"She'll give you a lap dance," Kukaku blurted loud enough to make half the room stop what they were doing and look their way.

Isane felt as though all the lights had gone out with the exception of a single spotlight of sheer humiliation shining right on her. She wanted to protest; say that she had no intention of doing that to him or anyone else for that matter.

"I'll help her with erecting the poles," Kisuke yelled across the room, earning him more than a few laughs. "Anything to hurry along what I'm sure you have in mind!"

"Ok, that's fine," Isane answered quickly. "Captain Urahara can help me."

"Trust me, you don't want that," Kukaku assured her.

"Then I'll do it myself," the now traumatized Isane huffed, moving past her tormentor. She didn't really need anyone’s help after all. It’s not like she was completely helpless. The reputation the fourth division had of being a bunch of incompetent wimps was an undeserving one, as she well knew. She knelt down cautiously, still not entirely comfortable in the short shorts, and retrieved the drill.

The determined handywoman then proceeded to climb the ladder. Halfway up someone grabbed her leg, startling her. It was too large and rough to be Kukaku's. But she almost wished it was when she looked down to find her very own unwitting target for this evening with his hand firmly wrapped around her thigh.

"Do the bottom first, idiot," sneered a grinning Grimmjow. Isane looked down on him with a frown, not at all noticing how beautiful his eyes were.

"I'm not an idiot, and I said I'll do it myself. And don't touch me." She tried to sound authoritative. His grin just widened.

The former Espada reached up and snatched the drill from Isane's hand. She stumbled, almost falling from the ladder in her attempt to hold onto the tool. "Stop your bitching," Grimmjow snapped. "I'm gonna do more than touch your leg when I get that dance." He blatantly eyed her ass and licked his lips. Isane barely had time to register what was happening before he'd reached up and firmly slapped her rear.

She let out a squeak, and then she was falling… flailing and falling, as if she were being attacked by a swarm of bees. Grimmjow, not wanting to be crushed by the freakishly large woman, moved to the side, just barely dodging one of Isane's arms as she slammed to the ground. All eyes were on them… again. The fourth squad lieutenant's grimace was now so deep her face appeared to be sliding off. This was the man she was going to lose her virginity to. Adequate words did not exist in the language of pluses, Hollows or Hell to voice her displeasure.

Kukaku stood by the bar with a pleased grin. This was going to be the best birthday ever.

To Isane's pleasure and Kukaku's disappointment, Grimmjow ended up assembling the pole by himself, all the while mumbling about how useless Isane was. Rangiku eventually came to rescue her, drink in hand. Thankfully it wasn't a jack and coke. It was fruity and delicious. Not nearly as strong as the whiskey, but strong enough to calm her frayed nerves. She finished it off quickly and immediately asked for another. Rangiku was more than happy to be of service. She returned not a minute later with another of the same.

"What is this?" Isane asked, sipping at the second drink.

"You like it?"

The silver-haired woman nodded as she inspected the reddish-brown liquid.

"It's a Raspberry Long Island. I thought you'd like it." Rangiku smiled kindly. Actually it was the only drink she could think of that was strong enough to loosen Isane up…way up, and still taste like fruity girly awesomeness. Isane felt the effects almost immediately.

"Thanks for nothing." Grimmjow stalked up to the women, irritation visible. He shoved the drill into Isane's free hand and relieved her of her drink. "Put the ladder away."

Isane eyed him incredulously as he brought her cup to his lips and took a rather sizable gulp.

"This shit is disgusting," he complained, turning on his heels and leaving the women behind. "I'll let you know when I'm ready for that dance," he called back casually.

"I'm jealous," Rangiku commented seriously. "You're so lucky."

Isane rolled her eyes in disgust. "Get me another drink," she commanded the blonde before turning to go back to her seat in the corner of the room.

-o0o-

"You all look very handsome," Unohana offered with a polite smile.

"We know," replied Shunsui, Kisuke and Shinji in unison. Jushiro let out an embarrassed laugh.

"They look like girls," Kenpachi grunted.

"You need to change your underwear yet?" Kukaku teased her purple-haired friend, throwing an arm around her shoulder. The ancient healer smiled as Yoruichi, who stood dumbly behind her, snapped her mouth shut. Feeling helpful, Kukaku wiped the saliva from Yoruichi's chin.

"You're drooling, pumpkin," she whispered mockingly into her ear, following it up with a kiss on the cheek.

"Nice shirt," Kenpachi chuckled.

"Thanks." The star of the evening grinned, doing a little spin. Her normal attire of burnoose and jacket had been replaced with a novelty plastic crown and a tank top. The front of the shirt read, Kiss me, Bitch. The back followed up with, It's my Birthday.

"So get over here," the hulking war machine grinned manically.

"Just pass her around the table," Shinji suggested.

Kukaku laughed. "Fuck off," she snapped despite her reddening face. "So what's this all about?" she motioned to the group of seated men in a slightly desperate attempt to change the subject.

The subject of their attire would have drawn interest even if worn by less utterly delectable beefcakes. Ukitake wore a white, asymmetrical, long-sleeved toga with gold trim. It stopped right below his knees. A crown of gold laurel leaves adorned his snow-white head. This celestial look was something only he was capable of pulling off. In contrast Shunsui had on an asymmetrical floor length number, burgundy with gold trim, and sleeveless. His loosely waved hair hung down his back, out of its usual ponytail. He thought Yoruichi would appreciate it. She did, along with every other woman in the room.

Shinji and Kenpachi were topless. The blonde had wrapped a shiny gold, fabric around his waist and pulled it through his legs to make a pair of pants. A white tie hung down his bare chest. Kukaku thought he resembled a stylish genie. Kenpachi, on the other hand, looked like he just took a white sheet, threw it around his waist and tied it sloppily with a rope. He'd obviously taken his sword to the bottom of the makeshift garment. It was shredded just like his captain's robe. For once though, his hair was not up in its usual spikes. It hung straight and slightly damp on his muscular shoulders.

Both Kisuke and Starrk decided to show some leg, opting for short togas. The genius inventor's was a white and green version of what Shunsui was wearing. It stopped right above the knee. His lazy neighbor seemed to have just thrown on a white poncho with a rope tied around his waist. He'd finished off the look with brown gladiator-style knee sandals. It left little to the imagination, but he'd get no complaints.

"It's your birthday present," Kisuke explained, encompassing the presentation of ancient Rome's glory with a lordly sweep of his arm. The men raised their glasses to salute her…for the most part.

"That's not what I wanted." Shiba turned up her nose and folded her arms across her chest.

"Well, Lady Shiba," Retsu smiled. "What did you want?" Her eyes moved thoughtfully from Captain Zaraki to Shinji.

Kukaku cut her eyes at the healer, realizing that she might have confided a little too much earlier that night. "You shut up," she snapped, mentally berating herself for running her mouth.

"I know," Kisuke interrupted.

"You do?" the green-eyed woman questioned nervously.

He just smiled, reaching into the rather large bag of 'supplies' he'd brought with him and nodded silently to Rangiku as she sauntered up to the table. The gift was barely halfway out of the bag when the one-armed woman squealed, throwing herself at Kisuke and landing in his lap.

"You remembered!" she beamed before planting a hard and rather unexpected kiss on him. She released him from the lip-lock, ignoring his idiotic smile.

"Of course I did. You didn't think I'd forget my favorite girl?"

"Favorite!" Yoruichi gasped, finally able to tear her eyes away from Shunsui. Kisuke laughed nervously, raising an apologetic hand. "I meant second favorite."

"What about me?" Ran whined.

"What the hell?" Shinji mumbled, not believing his ears.

"All of you are my favorite… equally," Kisuke tried nervously. Rangiku and Yoruichi shared an unconvinced look as Kukaku continued to sit comfortably in the scientist's lap, cuddling her present. "Umm…each of you is special in your own way." He was met with blank stares. "Uh, sooooo… the like that I have for each of you is homogeneously analogous." He grinned even as he spotted Unohana's raised eyebrow. Her bullshit detector had obviously gone off, but no one else's had and that was all that mattered. They were confused, which was perfect. 'Crisis averted.'

"What the hell is that anyway?" Rangiku questioned, still a tad miffed, but obviously accepting the questionable explanation she'd been given.

"Tea," the scientist and the birthday girl answered in unison.

"You wanted tea for your birthday?" Ran questioned. "How boring. I thought I taught you better." She could think of a hundred things she would ask the scientist for if she ever got the chance. And tea was not one of them.

Kukaku clutched the plastic bag to her chest, obviously offended at having her special gift mistaken for just tea. "What do you mean? This isn't just any tea."

"That's right," Kisuke agreed.

"It's Kisuke's special tea." The group seemed unconvinced.

"What's so special about it?" the busty blonde asked.

"You're a whore," Kukaku overreacted before jumping from Kisuke's lap and storming off, leaving the group more than a little confused.

-o0o-

Byakuya and Ulquiorra were the last to arrive. Whether they were just being fashionably late or wanted to spend as little time there as possible was debatable. All that concerned Isane was staying out of sight and away from Grimmjow. Maybe he'd get drunk and forget about the lap dance Kukaku had promised. It was a happy thought, but not very likely. Every so often, Renji, Ichigo, or one of the other guys would glance her way. They weren't half as discreet as they thought they were. He'd obviously told everyone in the room what was supposedly to come. Now on her third Long Island, she was far from the ball of nerves she'd been earlier, but still wasn't ready to do… that with the former Espada or anyone for that matter.

Everyone was still fawning over Captain Ukitake, the rest of the toga bunch, and the newly added Byakuya and Ulquiorra, who both sported black suits. Byakuya's with a tie, Ulquiorra's without. They were seriously overdressed and Isane, right along with every other woman in the room, would be eternally grateful. She wondered if this was what Kukaku had in mind when she'd made the 'No Shinigami uniforms' rule. If so, she was a genius.

"You can't stay over here all night," Momo commented politely, walking up with a cup in hand. She looked adorable in a pleated yellow mini-skirt and shirt with a smiley face on it. Rangiku had made it a point to take the little lieutenant's hair out of the cloth it was usually tied up in, instead putting it in loose ringlet curls. She looked better than Isane had seen her in months. Possibly ever. "They'll just drag you out there and make you do it. You know they will."

Isane nodded. It was true. She wouldn't be able to hide out for much longer. Kukaku would be at her again soon. And if not her, Rangiku.

"At least act like you're having a good time. Mingle a little. They'll probably be less inclined to bother you if they think you're doing the mission on your own." The little lieutenant smiled at the sulking woman, extending a hand.

"Momo." Isane's voice was low. "Are you a virgin?"

That cherubic face reddened. "I am, but…" she paused a moment to take in the scene around them. "We may be young compared to most of the people here, but we've been alive for over a hundred years. Maybe it's time we lived a little."

Isane shrugged. "I don't know anything anymore."

"I know what you mean. I am the resident psychopath, after all." Momo chuckled and Isane frowned.

"That's not funny."

The younger girl sighed. "Sorry. I'm just saying I think maybe it's time for a change. Grimmjow's not so bad." The two looked across the room right as the subject of their conversation dumped the contents of his cup all over Ikkaku's head, drawing laughter from Ichigo and some of the others gathered around.

Isane's face dropped. "I see exactly what you mean. I don't know how I missed it before."

"I didn't say he was Prince Charming. I don't believe in that anymore," her friend huffed. This sudden change in demeanor made Isane's expression soften. "I mean you have to admit, he's not bad to look at." Momo smiled up at her friend and Isane couldn't help but notice that it didn't quite reach her eyes. "He's kind of like a bigger, cockier, meaner, hotter Ichigo."

They looked across the room again. Grimmjow had turned his attention from Ikkaku, who had discarded his wet shirt, to Renji. The two were yelling about something and Ichigo stood by laughing his ass off.

"Nice try," Isane deadpanned. The former Espada was nothing like Ichigo. The young hero was sweet and caring, perpetual scowl aside.

"Let's go." Hinamori took a reluctant Isane by the hand, dragging her off towards the group of rowdy shinigami.

-o0o-

"Yo, short shuff," Kukaku walked up, slapping Toshiro on the back. His head snapped around to glare at the birthday girl.

"Captain," he corrected.

She nodded to Byakuya and Ulquiorra who were the only others at the table. They ignored her.

"Whatever, shrimp. Where's your drink?"

Toshiro's eye twitched dangerously. He wasn't very well-acquainted with the fireworks expert. He'd only ever seen her a handful of times, but from what he could tell, she was a strong, no-nonsense kind of person, much like himself. He could respect that, but she was pushing it. "I don't drink."

"You will today." She summoned Nemu. "Bring a jack and coke for the midget." The acting bartender was back in a flash, placing a glass of brown liquid in front of the tenth squad captain.

"If you insult me again, Shiba, they will be the last words you ever speak." The temperature in the room lowered. No one seemed to notice, especially not Kukaku who was on her third drink.

She welcomed the breeze.

"Save your threats, hobbit. I need you to do me a favor."

The young captain instinctively reached back over his shoulder to where Hyorinmaru should have hung, only to grasp empty space. He'd been forced to leave his zanpakuto behind. According to his lieutenant it was disrespectful to bring a weapon into a noble's home. He now saw that had been complete bullshit. Taking a quick survey of the room, not only did Ulquiorra have his soul cutter, but Urahara, Zaraki and Ikkaku.

Beside him, Kuchiki and his lieutenant looked on disinterestedly, their cool façades calming him somewhat. The last person he wanted to lose his temper in front of was Byakuya, the embodiment of self-control, and he suspected that the Shiba head wouldn't leave him alone until he gave her what she wanted. 'This is why I hate parties.'

"What do you want?" he forced out through clenched teeth.

"Drink. Then I'll tell you." Kukaku gave him a sinister smile. "Everyone in this room will be fucked up before the night is over. That's a promise."

"Forget it." The white-haired captain turned in his seat, attempting to ignore the woman that was now plopping down on the pillows next to him. He sighed in aggravation. He'd just have to wait her out. There was no way she was going to sit with him and waste her whole birthday.

"So, Byakuya," Shiba threw her legs up on the table, crossing them at the ankles, "What's up? You having fun? Hey, you don't have a drink either."

Lord Kuchiki shared a blank stare with his lieutenant before they both turned to Toshiro. Although their faces were expressionless and neither of them actually spoke, he heard what they were saying loud and clear. Do whatever you have to in order to get this woman away from us or we will kill you both.

He had no choice. The young captain grudgingly picked up the lone glass on the table. He took one more opportunity to glare at the busty woman before bringing the cup to his lips and drinking as much as he could before a cough wracked his small body. Kukaku cackled hysterically as Toshiro clutched his chest as if were having a heart attack.

"It's strong, ain't it?" She guffawed louder, before calling again on Nemu to bring Byakuya and Ulquiorra one of the same. "Hurry up and finish it off."

As the young captain struggled to finish his whiskey and soda, Nemu arrived with two more glasses. Ulquiorra cautiously tested his, but Byakuya did not.

"I'm finished. Now what do you want?" The prodigy slammed the glass down with a small but noticeable sense of accomplishment.

Shiba got to her feet and smiled down at the young man. "Nothing." She turned and strolled away. Toshiro couldn't help but notice the extra bounce in her step.

Furious, the turquoise-eyed captain turned to the noble and lieutenant at his side. He'd been tricked and felt idiotic. Byakuya didn't even waste a glance in his direction but Ulquiorra met his icy stare. His melancholy green eyes revealed none of what he was actually thinking until…

"Trash."

Lieutenant Cifer then turned away, leaving Toshiro speechless.

-o0o-

"What's that?" Renji peeked into Momo's cup curiously.

"Oh, I'm not really sure. You'd have to ask Nemu."

The redhead nodded, grabbing Ichigo's wrist and pulling him in the direction of the bar. He was yanked back.

"Go by yourself!" Ichigo snapped. "I'm not drinking tonight."

Momo giggled. "Don't let Kukaku hear you say that."

"Why the hell not?" Renji whirled around with a frown, still holding firmly onto the boy's arm.

Ichigo snatched his hand back. "You know good and damn well why I'm not. I still have a headache from last night." Renji didn't try to hide his grin. He, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Grimmjow and a couple others had gone out the night before and gotten completely wasted… or at least Ichigo did. He still couldn't hang with the likes of Ikkaku or the blue-haired bastard, but he'd come a long way from when he'd first become an officer.

"Stop being such a pussy. It's a party. So party," a topless Ikkaku commented from his perch atop an empty table.

Momo and Isane shared an amused glance at the bald man before looking at each other and giggling. It was practically impossible to look at him and not think of his failed attempt at sex.

"You want me to beat that smirk off your face?" Ichigo taunted the shirtless brawler.

Ikkaku's grin widened. "Try it." He hopped off the table and headed towards the orange-haired lieutenant.

Kukaku Shiba came marching up with fire in her eyes. "You two calm the hell down before I rip your dicks off." Ichigo froze. Knowing Kukaku, she wouldn't hesitate to make good on that threat. Ikkaku, on the other hand, rolled his eyes while continuing towards Ichigo.

Slowly and quietly, Isane moved behind Momo. She knew she should have stayed in her corner. Kukaku saw her, of course. Isane was practically twice Momo's size, but she'd leave her alone for now. "Hey, dipshit." The voluptuous pyromaniac placed her wooden hand on Ikkaku's chest, stopping him in his tracks. "You hard of hearing?"

He knocked her hand away, obviously not the least bit concerned with the potential loss of his manhood. Kukaku's face twisted in confusion. Only an eunuch would be so casual when threatened with such a thing. Then it hit her. He didn't care because he didn't need it. It wasn't like he knew how to use it. As far as Ikkaku was concerned that thing between his legs was good for digging holes in the ground and maybe hanging his hat, if he ever wore one. Given the choice of giving up his sword or his cock, it was pretty obvious which one this dumbass would choose.

While she'd been having her earth-shattering revelation, the bald idiot had moved around her and put Ichigo in a headlock. Kukaku rolled her eyes and surveyed the room. This wasn't what she'd had in mind at all. All the right people had been invited but she was bored… terribly so. The music was too low and everyone was scattered about the large room in their respective cliques.

Unacceptable.

-o0o-

"You kids seem to be having a fun alcohol-free time." Yoruichi had spotted her one-time students from across the room looking entirely too uncorrupt for her liking. Chad took up half of the couch with Rukia and Orihime occupying the other side. Ishida Uryu sat on the arm dressed in a white suit with a Quincy-blue shirt. Yoruichi shook her head. They exuded wholesomeness.

"We're underage," Chad stated dryly.

Yoruichi rolled her eyes in revulsion. "That's hardly an excuse."

The young Quincy pushed his glasses up on his nose with a slender finger. His eyes settled on Ikkaku and Ichigo who were across the room arguing about something, probably whose brain was the smallest, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I won't speak for them, but I don't think I can make it through the night without some kind of help."

Chad grunted in what might have been surprise and Yoruichi smirked. "I knew there was a reason I always liked you."

Ishida raised an ebony brow as the werecat reached out and pulled him to his feet, wrapping his arm around hers. She smiled sweetly, which was alarming, but he said nothing. "Let's go get you fixed up."

The Quincy let Yoruichi lead him across the room, the hand that wasn't held hostage by the brown-skinned woman tucked casually in his pocket. Rukia looked on stunned. "Are you seeing this?"

Chad grunted again. Orihime said nothing.

"Orihime," Rukia nudged her friend, eyes still glued to the Quincy's back. She didn't answer. "Hime," she called again, finally turning to the orange-haired girl who was staring off into space. "Hime!"

"WHAT!" The girl's head finally snapped around and big brown eyes glared at Rukia with malicious intent.

Rukia recoiled. "Sorry."

The young healer shrugged sweetly, spinning back around to gaze off into the distance. Peeking over her friend's shoulder Rukia spoke quietly. "What are you looking at?"

The girl whirled around again, this time smiling. "Let's go say hi to Captain Ukitake."

"Uhh, why?"

"Rukia," she scolded. "Because he's your captain; don't be disrespectful."

"Whaaa… disrespectful?" Rukia gasped. "I just saw him a couple of hours ago." She watched her former classmate's shoulders slump in what appeared to be disappointment. That lasted about half a second, then her eyes lit up again.

"Let's go see Captain Urahara."

There was treachery afoot. Rukia was sure of it. Her eyes wandered over to the table of toga wearers. "What is this really all about, Orihime?"

The girl gasped theatrically while bringing a hand to her cheek. "I can't begin to imagine what you're talking about. I'm just trying to be polite!" She was a crappy liar and she knew it. It was obvious Rukia wasn't buying it. Orihime folded her arms across her chest, defeated. "Fine. I don't care if everyone thinks we're cold and heartless." With her nose pointed to the sky she turned back around to continue gazing at the table of older men.

-o0o-

"Hey, are we paying you to socialize or to DJ?"

"You're not paying me at all." Love looked up, straightening his ever-present shades. Occupying the nearby table were Rose, Lisa and Nanao.

Kukaku smirked. "Well, you think you can kill all these conversations for me? This ain't no spring social. You know what I mean?"

The brown-skinned Visored nodded in tune with the low music and shot her an award-winning smile. In an instant Kukaku's eardrums were being assaulted by god-only-knows what kind of music. The pulsing bass rattled the house. Glancing back at the rest of the room she saw that every single eye was on her and the DJ. Yoruichi's mouth was moving and her arms were flailing around. She looked mad, but Kukaku couldn't hear her. Perfect.

She smiled, turning back to the former shinigami and giving him an approving thumbs-up. He nodded, and pointed in the air. "WHAT?" Kukaku attempted to yell over the now blaring beat.

He motioned for her to come closer. She did, stopping once her bare stomach pressed firmly against the audio mixer. Kukaku leaned in as far as she could.

He met her. Grabbing the top of her head and forcefully turning it to the side he said, "Hit the lights for me." His cool voice made her involuntarily shiver. 'I must be drunker than I thought,' she concluded.

She backed away, or at least tried to, but Love caught her face in his rather large hand. Kukaku's eyes widened in what may or may not have been fear. Before she could pull away he leaned forward, closing the small space between them, placing his full lips on hers in a quick but deliberate kiss.

The confused woman stood frozen as he released her jaw and took a step away, focusing immediately back on the buttons and knobs in front of him.

Looking to her side she saw Lisa and Nanao's amused faces. Shiba glared at them before checking behind her. No one else seemed to be paying them any mind, but she was pleased to see Rangiku dancing like a drunken hooker. Progress was being made.

"Don't forget the lights." Warm breath caressed Kukaku's ear. The green-eyed noble whirled around to glare at the smirking DJ who gave no sign of noticing anything out of sort.

Lisa walked over with Nanao not far behind. "If you didn't want people's lips all over you then you shouldn't have worn that damned shirt."

Shiba looked down. She could barely see what her shirt said for her huge boobs, but she didn't need to. As previously stated, she was not that drunk yet, and Love's actions needed little in the way of imagination to decipher.

Rounding on her cohorts, the queen of the party growled, "Hit the lights for me, will ya? And meet me in Yoruichi's room when you're done. It's time to get this party started." Lisa nodded with a smile and went off to follow her instructions.

-o0o-

Kisuke returned to the table with the first pot of his freshly brewed tea. Kukaku was nowhere in sight, but that didn't mean the rest of them had to wait.

"So Captain Urahara, exactly what kind of tea is this?" Captain Ukitake sat up to the table eager for the chance to try this new brew. Kisuke smiled as he filled Shinji's cup. Steam escaped the pot, making its way to the half-Hollow's nose causing his eyes to widen in shock. Not to mention recognition. He'd know that smell anywhere.

"Is this−"

"Green tea," Kisuke answered, cutting Shinji off and giving him a pointed look. "The taste is a little odd so it'll take some getting used to, but it's good…or at least I think so."

"We're taking shots of tea?" Yoruichi wasn't sure what Kisuke was up to, but she knew it was bad.

"Well, it's kind of strong," the devious shopkeeper explained.

"I bet it is," Hirako smirked, finally over the initial shock. 'That's why Kukaku was so excited,' he grinned to himself.

"It does have an odd smell." Jushiro lifted his glass, eyeing the seemingly normal liquid.

"I'm not drinkin' this shit," Kenpachi grunted before finishing up his Jack.

"Oh come on, Captain Zaraki," Unohana teased. "It is a party, after all." Her smile was sweet and completely nonthreatening, but after a few moments Kenpachi was reaching out and grabbing the small cup of steaming liquid.

Kisuke reclaimed his seat. "Alright, bottoms up everyone." Everyone save for Shinji hesitated, but eventually every cup was emptied.

"At least it tastes better than it smells," Yoruichi stated, still trying to figure out if she wanted to throw up or not.

"It's different," Ukitake smiled. "I like it. Let's all have another." He saw the reluctance on the faces of his comrades. "Oh, come on, it's not that bad."

"Sure, Jushiro, whatever you say." Shunsui patted his oldest friend on the back. "Kisuke, fill us all up again. As a matter of fact," the eighth squad captain scanned the room for the twelfth division lieutenant. Spotting her, he waved her over. "Nemu, give everyone in the room some of Kisuke's tea." The girl nodded obediently. "Get yourself some too. Don't work too hard. Remember to have some fun." He sent the girl off with a wink and was pleased to see the smallest hint of a smile as she left.

"Oh, look!" Yoruichi jumped up. "Byakuya!" she yelled, noticing her old student across the room attempting to be low-key. The overdressed noble ignored her completely. Yellow eyes narrowed as she began to get to her feet.

Someone caught her wrist. Friendly green orbs stared up at her as she looked down questioningly. "Why don't you let me?" Ukitake gently pulled her back down onto the pillows.

The group watched as the angelic-looking man stood and made his way to a visibly irritated Byakuya. Their conversation was short and noticeably one-sided, but whatever Jushiro said, worked. Ulquiorra got to his feet first and his captain slowly followed. Toshiro stayed, or perhaps he wasn't invited. Children shouldn't drink, after all.

"Look who I've convinced to join us," Ukitake smiled as the former Espada and his superior took a seat at the table next to theirs. "We're trying a new tea that Captain Urahara developed himself."

Captain Kuchiki haughtily sniffed the air around him. "It smells obscene."

Jushiro disguised his laugh as a cough. "I see. Well, it actually tastes quite good. Different, but good. Captain Urahara, would you mind if Captain Kuchiki sampled your tea?" Kisuke shrugged indifferently. "And how about you, Lieutenant Cifer?"

The green-eyed Arrancar nodded his thanks.

"Bottoms up, everyone," Jushiro announced before downing the odd-tasting drink. The others followed his lead, but not without complaint.

"That tea is disgusting," Starrk mumbled. "But I like it."

"I'm not sure if that makes sense, though I agree," Shunsui nodded.

"Yoruichi, would you mind getting me another of the gentleman's drink?" Ukitake held his glass out to the purple-haired woman, then turned to the sixth division captain. "Captain Kuchiki, have you tried it?"

"Tried what?" Byakuya tried not to sound as uninterested as he actually was.

"Gentleman… something or other." Ukitake looked to Yoruichi for assistance that he really didn't need.

"Jack," she offered. "Gentleman Jack."

"Yes, that's it. Gentleman Jack. The drink of gentlemen, I'm told. It's very good. Shunsui and I have both ordered a case to keep for special occasions. Would you care to try some?"

The group watched in awe as Ukitake manipulated the uptight noble with the skill of a veteran conman. Byakuya was being lured, with coughs and smiles, into the white-haired captain's web of lies. It was truly a thing of beauty.

The Kuchiki lord was quiet for a moment. Everyone waited to see if Jushiro's strategy had been enough.

"I suppose I should," Byakuya answered finally.

Around the table, jaws dropped. Shunsui laughed and Jushiro smiled. "Good choice. Captain Shihoin, bring a nobleman’s drink for Captain Kuchiki as well."

Yoruichi left quietly, returning moments later with drinks in hand.

-o0o-

"Come on you guys, dance with me." Rangiku was feeling great, past tipsy but not quite drunk. Grabbing Orihime's hand she snatched the girl from her seat, dragging her onto the dance floor.

"Rangiku, noooooo!" Orihime squealed. Her blonde friend was too strong; she glanced down at Rukia's amused expression and grabbed her hand before she was out of reach. The adopted Kuchiki's eyes widened as she was yanked from the comfort of her seat.

"Orihime! Let me go." They were moving too fast. Rukia tried desperately to pry the surprisingly strong fingers from her wrist, but she was unable to get her footing. She fell, and for the hundredth time that night she cursed Yoruichi for making her wear a dress. At least the laughter, at her expense, was being drowned out by the deafeningly loud music.

Thankfully, it didn't take Orihime long to see what had happened. She immediately let go instead of continuing to drag her."Sorry, Rukia," the winsome maiden called back as they left her in their dust.

The tiny shinigami stayed in her new spot, face pressed to the floor. Her head rolled to the side and violet orbs landed on her brother. His expression was unreadable, which made her pretty sure that she would be dead by morning.

"You ok?" Black combat boots suddenly obstructed her view. Angry eyes looked down at her, but then again Kensei Muguruma rarely appeared anything but angry even though usually he wasn't.

"I'm fine," Rukia groaned, making no effort to pick herself up off the floor.

The Visored laughed, something the Kuchiki princess had never seen him do. 'I'm so glad I can bring joy into people's lives,' she thought bitterly. Suddenly the white-haired man leaned over, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her unceremoniously to her feet. She reached around to snatch at the back of her dress, lest her rear be exposed to the entire room… again.

"Thanks," Rukia mumbled, less than grateful as she smoothed her attire out as best she could.

"So, you enjoying yourself?"

The young shinigami looked up to see Kensei's retreating figure. She didn't know why, but she ran the few steps it took to close the space between them, falling in step with his laid-back stride as he walked to the bar.

Orihime stood nervously and absolutely still beside a gyrating Rangiku. It wasn't that she didn't like to dance. She did, but Rangiku was drawing way too much attention.

"Come on, Hime. Don't be a party pooper." Rangiku's words weren't slurred yet but Orihime was sure they would be soon. She looked over and watched Rukia who'd just been picked up off the floor. Her conscience had bothered her about that at first, Rukia looked so pretty and she'd dragged her around like a suitcase. Orihime smiled. Everything seemed fine now though. She'd have to thank Kensei later.

"Oh, Isane! Momo!" Rangiku stopped her dirty dancing to call her fellow lieutenants over. Momo smiled and walked right up, catching Isane's arm as she tried to flee.

"I don't dance," Isane frowned.

Momo giggled. "You know if you keep frowning you're going to get wrinkles. That's what Rangiku says anyway." The taller officer's frown only deepened.

-o0o-

Starrk downed his fourth miniature cup of tea, as did the rest of the group. Somehow Ukitake had gotten Byakuya and Ulquiorra to take an extra one to catch up to the rest of the group. The more he drank, the better it tasted and the sleepier he got.

"Another?"

Starrk looked up into bloodshot grey eyes. Kisuke smiled lazily at him. The former Primera's attention moved slowly from the scientist to rest on the figure standing behind him. No one else seemed to notice. Was he hallucinating? There was no way to be sure and for some reason he couldn't bring himself to actually care if he was. The mirage stared back at him and smiled.

"I'm done." He finally answered, pushing his cup away and conceding defeat.

"So soon?" Shunsui asked. "The night is young."

Starrk's eyes moved from the eighth division captain's back to the smiling figure still hovering over Kisuke, and then to his empty teacup. "What kind of tea did you say this was?"

"Uhh, green?" Kisuke answered cautiously.

Starrk looked into the scientist's grey eyes. He was lying. Knowing Kisuke, he was doing some kind of sick experiment on everyone. He tried to ignore the ghost as it waved at him amiably. It was hard to do. He wanted to talk to it.

"Is something wrong?" Shunsui whispered to his troubled friend.

The former Espada leaned heavily on the captain and Shunsui bent down a little to hear. "I think Kisuke gave us a date rape drug."

Kyoraku's eyes widened. "You think he plans to violate us?"

The Arrancar thought for a moment. It was clear that something had been in the tea. He may not drink as much as Shunsui, but he consumed enough sake' to know that what he was feeling was not the effect of alcohol. And it had been Kisuke's idea for everyone to wear skirts, or togas as he called them. "It's possible," he finally answered. "Tell me. Do you see that… person… standing behind Kisuke?"

"Huh?" The roguish captain turned curiously. What he saw made him raise an eyebrow. "I think I'm done too," he announced before pushing his drink away as well.

"I told you," Starrk whispered.

Now that they had established that there was indeed a ghost in the room with them, the question was, what to do about it.

-o0o-

Mashiro skipped up as Rangiku spun an uninspired Isane around her body. She then bumped her with her hip, sending the towering lieutenant crashing into Momo who giggled uncontrollably. This was the most fun she'd allowed herself to have in a while. Leaning over, the tiny brunette wrapped her lips around the straw that came from the fruity drink Orihime was holding and finished it off.

"We need another one," Orihime giggled. Momo nodded enthusiastically.

"I'm going to sit down," Isane declared, turning to leave the merry group of girls.

"Oh no, you don't." Rangiku threw her arm around the much taller woman's shoulder. "Where's Grimmjow?" Isane's face blanched.

"He's over there. I'll go get him." Mashiro turned on her heels, but was nearly snatched out of her shoes by the fourth squad lieutenant.

"Do you want to die?" The uncharacteristically threatening look in Isane's eye was enough to make the lively leprechaun shrink away.

"Nope," she answered wide-eyed. Then, just like that, Mashiro was shaking her booty to the music again.

The two and a half drinks Isane downed earlier, which had left her feeling tipsy and relaxed, were only a memory now. Her anxiety had come back full force. All of a sudden another drink didn't sound half-bad, or maybe some of that tea Nemu brought over. It tasted funny, but it had calmed her down, at least momentarily.

"Hey, Orihime." The girl looked over her shoulder at Isane. "You mind bringing me one too?"

"Sure," she smiled then turned and bounced away.

"Wait, isn't she going the wrong direction?" Isane asked no one in particular.

"Huh?" The society's president turned curiously. Orihime was headed towards the table with all the toga-wearing hotties. Rangiku's eyes roamed appreciatively over the group − Starrk, Kenpachi, Jushiro, Shunsui, Kisuke, and…

"Gin?!"

Then suddenly the room went dark… and quiet.

-o0o-

OHHHHHHH! A little cliffhanger there. Part 2 to come soon…very soon. I promise!