The wisdom of a stray dog
folder
Bleach › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
4,740
Reviews:
18
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Bleach › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
4,740
Reviews:
18
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
The wisdom of a stray dog
Author’s Note: Yaoi. This story is a bitter one. I wrote it after watching the ninety-fifth episode of “Bleach”. Enough said that this particular episode seems to show Byakuya’s true nature, me thinks.
Characters: Renji, thinking about his captain. Mentions of Kuchiki x Abarai.
Summary: When someone you gave your heart to does not believe in such things as unconditional love, the relationship may strain your patience, forcing you to read your beloved’s mind... Forget about tender words and confessions – you’ll never hear either of them. It is forbidden to utter any of your own as well.
Rating: PG-13/R
Disclaimer: BLEACH is not mine. This story is just a fan fiction.
Music: If Not Now Tracy Chapman
Dedication: to all Tracy Chapman’s music admirers.
THE WISDOM OF A STRAY DOG
"You can wait 'til morning comes
You can wait for the new day
You can wait and lose this heart
You can wait and soon be sorry"
You order me to come to your bedroom every night. You give me the orders to touch you, to hold you in my arms whenever you feel abandoned, humiliated or simply cold. You force me to sleep beside you, to provide you warmth and safety, to talk to you, to eat breakfast with you when the morning comes.
Your steel grey eyes are expressionless, your hands stiff and icy cold. While your lips remain sealed and no word is breaking the silence in your bedroom when I’m holding you tight (but not too tight, because you don’t want to loose control), your normally dangerous reiatsu is talking to me. It speaks the words I need to hear to understand you and all your thoughts, decisions and anger.
I know your heart is filled with anger. You accuse yourself of being weak and careless, just because you feel better when I’m near you. Because it is easier for you to breathe and to live with me than without me. So you keep on pretending...
Pretending not to need anyone, pretending to be stronger than everybody else, pretending to have no feelings. Pretending to be completely independent, to have no relationships. You are a great pretender, a noble one and almost flawless. But I, the infamous stray dog, a faithful mongrel of his master’s, know better.
You carry a heavy burden on your strong shoulders: all duties and obligations related to being a captain, a burden of being the clan leader. All you do is following the lines other people drew to keep you inside the golden cage.
Pleasure has no meaning within your world. Even what I call “us” (but only in my mind, never aloud) - you refuse to accept. But I know better.
You cling on to me when you think I’m asleep. You kiss me as if you needed it to live. I can hear your silent tears running down your cheeks when the night falls and we lay on the futon together.
And when we are making love, you savour every moment of it, and you get yourself drunk with passion, slowly approaching a hangover and remorse that’ll inevitably come after we’re done.
You treat me both like someone who keeps you alive and as someone who makes you feel ashamed of your own needs, of being emotional enough to long for the warm embrace and understanding. You keep telling yourself that it is the last time, you promise yourself not to do it again.
You try to kill me, to forget about me, to hurt me, to humiliate me so I would either disappear or leave you all by yourself.
I will survive. I won’t leave you. I’ll bear all of your attacks, tear down all the walls you have built between us.
One day you’ll ask me why have I decided to stay by your side.
My reply will be straightforward and simple: “Because I love you enough”.
"If not now what then
We all must live our lives
Always feeling
Always thinking
The moment has arrived"
Characters: Renji, thinking about his captain. Mentions of Kuchiki x Abarai.
Summary: When someone you gave your heart to does not believe in such things as unconditional love, the relationship may strain your patience, forcing you to read your beloved’s mind... Forget about tender words and confessions – you’ll never hear either of them. It is forbidden to utter any of your own as well.
Rating: PG-13/R
Disclaimer: BLEACH is not mine. This story is just a fan fiction.
Music: If Not Now Tracy Chapman
Dedication: to all Tracy Chapman’s music admirers.
THE WISDOM OF A STRAY DOG
"You can wait 'til morning comes
You can wait for the new day
You can wait and lose this heart
You can wait and soon be sorry"
You order me to come to your bedroom every night. You give me the orders to touch you, to hold you in my arms whenever you feel abandoned, humiliated or simply cold. You force me to sleep beside you, to provide you warmth and safety, to talk to you, to eat breakfast with you when the morning comes.
Your steel grey eyes are expressionless, your hands stiff and icy cold. While your lips remain sealed and no word is breaking the silence in your bedroom when I’m holding you tight (but not too tight, because you don’t want to loose control), your normally dangerous reiatsu is talking to me. It speaks the words I need to hear to understand you and all your thoughts, decisions and anger.
I know your heart is filled with anger. You accuse yourself of being weak and careless, just because you feel better when I’m near you. Because it is easier for you to breathe and to live with me than without me. So you keep on pretending...
Pretending not to need anyone, pretending to be stronger than everybody else, pretending to have no feelings. Pretending to be completely independent, to have no relationships. You are a great pretender, a noble one and almost flawless. But I, the infamous stray dog, a faithful mongrel of his master’s, know better.
You carry a heavy burden on your strong shoulders: all duties and obligations related to being a captain, a burden of being the clan leader. All you do is following the lines other people drew to keep you inside the golden cage.
Pleasure has no meaning within your world. Even what I call “us” (but only in my mind, never aloud) - you refuse to accept. But I know better.
You cling on to me when you think I’m asleep. You kiss me as if you needed it to live. I can hear your silent tears running down your cheeks when the night falls and we lay on the futon together.
And when we are making love, you savour every moment of it, and you get yourself drunk with passion, slowly approaching a hangover and remorse that’ll inevitably come after we’re done.
You treat me both like someone who keeps you alive and as someone who makes you feel ashamed of your own needs, of being emotional enough to long for the warm embrace and understanding. You keep telling yourself that it is the last time, you promise yourself not to do it again.
You try to kill me, to forget about me, to hurt me, to humiliate me so I would either disappear or leave you all by yourself.
I will survive. I won’t leave you. I’ll bear all of your attacks, tear down all the walls you have built between us.
One day you’ll ask me why have I decided to stay by your side.
My reply will be straightforward and simple: “Because I love you enough”.
"If not now what then
We all must live our lives
Always feeling
Always thinking
The moment has arrived"