Kanashimi

Kanashimi

Author's Note : I decided to take a break from Mimic, and Lady Draiol's challenge was just too good to pass up. It's an UkitakeXShunsui fanfiction, incase you haven't read her challenge. It's angsty, and yaoi-licious, so you don't like those, run as fast as you can.

He had always known it was coming, always been prepared for it. At least, Shunsui wished he had always been prepared for it. When the day finally came that death reared its ugly head, Shunsui found that he was not adequately prepared at all, not in the slightest.

He had been napping on the floor of his office when he was awakened by his faithful fukutaicho Nanao-chan. Greeted with a sorrowful face and downcast eyes, Shunsui knew immediately what was happening. Without a word he rose and swept out the door.

Flash step carried him to the fourth division in mere seconds, but Shunsui cursed his speed the entire way. No matter how quickly he was moving, it was not quick enough, nowhere near quick enough. Throwing open the double doors of the 4th division's main building, Shunsui sped inside. He met Unohana-taicho in the hall.

“Kyouraku-taicho..... I'm afraid it's time. Would you like to see him?”

Shunsui choked back a sob as he nodded. He knew this was as hard for her as it was for him. After all, she was his friend as well... She led him down a hall to a wooden door. The two warring third seats, now oddly quiet, perched outside the door. They were obviously not allowed in. Opening the door, Unohana-taicho allowed Shunsui to enter first.

The once beautiful captain was slumped into a sitting position on the fourth division bed. He looked up as they entered, smiling at his two old friends.

“Oh god, Juu....”

Shunsui rushed to his side and grasped Juushiro's hand, kneeling at the side of the bed. Unohana quietly came behind him, and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“He doesn't have too much longer, Kyouraku-taicho. An hour at most. I'll return again in about 40 minutes or so...”

Shunsui felt the breeze of her coat as she spun around and gracefully left the room. Juushiro squeezed his hand slightly and smiled again. There was no more coughing, there hadn't been for some time now. It was sad how the disease had finally fled, only to leave behind a frail body too destroyed to carry on. Shunsui's eyes watered as he pulled Juushiro into his arms. Kissing the pale forehead, he swept a lock of white hair out of his lover's eyes. Juushiro looked up and laced his hands around Shunsui's strong, thick neck, untying the tall shinigami's ponytail.

“I love you Shunsui.”

Shunsui burst into tears and buried his face into Juushiro's thin shoulder. A weak but comforting hand rubbed his back as he sobbed into the warm body.

“I know Juu-chan. Why now, though. Why can't you just stay a little longer... isn't there anything they can do?”

Juushiro pulled Shunsui up so he could look at him.

“Listen to me, Shunsui. There is no point in crying about this. I called for you to come because I want to treasure these last moments with you, not because I want to see you break down. I... I want to have you one last time, Shun-kun.”

Shunsui gasped in an almost comic horror at the suggestion. It was completely out of the question... Juushiro was far too weak.

“Juu no. It'll just make you worse...”

“I dont have much longer left, I really want this... please, just let me enjoy you one last time... please Shunsui...”

Shunsui pulled Juushiro into a deep kiss, tears running down his cheeks as he snaked his tongue around his lover's. A trembling hand began to pull down the white robe Juushiro wore. When it pooled about them on the bed, Shunsui admired his body for a moment. Even thin, Juushiro was very attractive, almost feminine. He worked to burn the image of Juushiro into his mind. A hand on his crotch brought him back to reality. Despite his frailty, it took Juushiro no time to strip Shunsui of his robes. Shunsui made to take Juushiro's manhood into his mouth, but a slender hand motioned for him to stop, as he muttered that there was no time. The white haired shinigami summoned strength and straddled his kneeling lover, reaching for the soothing cream on his nightstand at the same time.

He wasted no time as he twirled off the tube's cap and poured some contents into his hand. Shunsui dipped the tips of his index and middle finger into it, and Juushiro smeared the rest on Shunsui's hard shaft. Reaching behind the delicate shinigami, Shunsui thrust his fingers into the man's entrance. Juushiro was used to such things, and it did not take long for him to prepare.

Shunsui grasped the rear of the beautiful shinigami, and guided him onto his member. Juushiro took control and forced himself downwards with a thrust of his hips. They both gasped as they once again became one. Ecstasy spread across the sick shinigami's face as he bounced in Shunsui's lap. Time stopped for them as they made love. Tears streaked both Shinigami's faces as they kissed, hands ensnared in the other's hair. The way Shunsui thrusted his hips, the way Juushiro pushed downwards with all his strength, it was unlike it had ever been before. They moaned in harmony with each thrust, not caring who heard. It was urgent and passionate, but at the same time sorrowful and fearful.

It was not long before Shunsui felt Juushiro clench around him in climax, and hot seed spilled on his abdomen. Juushiro cried out into the dark room and grasped Shunsui tightly, still riding him. Shunsui gripped his hips and pulled Juushiro down onto him before moaning the name of his lover. Burying himself into Juushiro's tight depths, Shunsui let bliss claim him as he shot his load into the frail man. For several moments the only sound that could be heard was the deep breathing of the satisfied lovers. Foreheads pressing together, they stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity.

When Shunsui was finally too limp to remain in Juushiro, he pulled the tired shinigami off his lap and laid him out on the bed. Clearly too spent to move any further, Juushiro weakly smiled at the masculine shinigami before him. Shunsui crawled onto the bed after him and pulled Juushiro into his arms. He nuzzled his face into the long white hair, and inhaled Juushiro's pleasant scent. They stayed like that for just a moment, until Juushiro spoke again.

“Are you going to be alright when I'm gone, Shunsui?”

Shunsui began to cry again, tears mingling with sweat on their bodies.

“No Juu... I'm not gonna be alright. I don't know how I'm gonna be able to get up in the morning anymore. You're my life Juu, I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. I just want you to stay with me, not to leave. God please... don't leave me Juushiro...”

“You know I'm going to be waiting for you. I don't know where I'm going, Shunsui, but I promise I'll be there to meet you when you get there too. I wouldn't go if I had the choice, but I can't fight anymore...”

“I know Juu... I just love you so much. I'm going to miss you more than I even know how to put in words... I love you.”

“I love you too. I just want you to hold me, ok? I'm not feeling so good....”

“Juu! No..... “

Juushiro reached up and grasped Shunsui's jaw, pulling him down into a deep kiss. When they broke apart, Shunsui understood. He would have to keep his emotions in check and just be there for him. He grasped the frail man to his chest and buried his head into the white haired man's neck. Juushiro sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying his last moments.

When Unohana returned, she found them sitting the bed. Juushiro had clearly left this world, and Shunsui looked like he was about to burst from sadness. Juushiro's hair was plastered to the side of his smiling face from the larger man's tears. Unohana eyes welled up as she shut the door again, and returned to her office. She would let him say goodbye, and then she would do what was necessary.

The tears were flowing freely as she sat down. Down the hall, a scream of grief pierced the night as Shunsui's mind snapped.