Unfatherly

I feel like i should mention....This is my very first Bleach Fanfict...yeah... wth?
( unbeta version.... )

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Ryuuken was normally very patient. He never raised his voice and spoke in a calm tone to everyone without discrimination.
However Even Ryuuken was getting mildly annoyed at Uryuu. Even after he restored the brat’s powers he refused to refer to him as "Otou-san". Ryuuken would have Accepted 'Chichi' or even 'Jiisan' to "Ryuuken". It wasn’t even Ryuuken-san or Ryuuken-sama.
Just plain Ryuuken! It enraged the old Quincy so much he shook in anger.
'After I went to the trouble of raising him and feeding him!
I changed your diapers you little brat!' he screamed inwardly as he scowled at his sons back.

Suddenly as he stared at the back of his very impolite son an idea struck him.
A very very naughty idea.

Uryuu was minding his own business trying to repair his heroic 'Quincy to the rescue!' costume when his dad began hovering behind him. He frowned grimly and quickly turned around to yell 'get away!' to the old man when Ryuuken caught his hand. Uryuu could only stare wide-eyed as he was forceably pinned to the wall.
Ryuuken's face was as plain as always was but his eyes had a eerie glint to them that made Uryuu uneasy.
"Err..." he struggled to say while attempting to free himself from the old quincy's strong grip,"Ryuuken...what-"
"There you go insulting me again!" The old Quincy barked cutting him off.
Uryuu blinked at him but quickly plastered his 'I hate you!' glare on his face.
"Hn...If you refuse to call me Daddy (at least)...." he said staring the boy down,
"I will..." he raised his hand slowly.
"have to do something to you that is...unfatherly...?"he said ending the sentence with a smile oozing evil intent.
Uryuu's wide blue eyes betrayed his facade of indifferentness.
'What the hell does he mean unfat-'
His train of thought died as he felt his father’s dry hand caress his lips.
What! What the hell man!? he screamed inwardly shivering at the cold fingers.
He squeaked as he saw his dad seeming to undress him with his eyes.
(.... Doesn’t he always seem to be doing that to everyone?)
'Oh...dear...' the young quincy thought in a painic,'My father has finally lost his goddamn mind! Oh crap oh crap....'
He shivered as he felt Ryuuken’s hand against his bare chest. When had he unzipped his shirt he worried. One hand pressed against is bare neck while the other moved around skimming over Uryuu's skin lightly.
"Damn it old man your fingers are icy! I feel pity for your patie-"
it was only when He felt The cold fingers gravitating past the equator that he truly began panicking.
"Wah! HEY! You perverted old man stop that! " he squeaked trying to disappear into the wall.
"Not unless you call me properly!" answered the Quincy.
Uryuu's bit his lower lip to suppress a whimper as his father cuped his pants roughly. Ryuken felt a odd tightening in his own pants as he did.

Ryuuken’s hand was busy starting to unbuckle his pants belt When Uryuu's shrill voice yelled
"DADDY STOP BEING A PERVERT!!!"

Ryuuken seemed to vanish for a second reappearing on the otherside of the room and holding what appeared to be soap.
"Ack...Well that wasn’t so bad was it?"He said calmly as if he'd done nothing wrong,"You'll be sure to Refer to me properly from now on I think!" he announced as he vigorous washed his hands.
STOMP STOmp stomp!
Ryuuken looked up to see the middle-aged Father of Ichigo Kurosaki standing in the window.
"How did you get up here when this apartment is on the 4thfloor I wonder...?" he asked.
Isshin did not respond with words. Ryuuken narrowly missed being cut in haft by Isshin's sword.
"Hn?" was all the Ishida-san said.
"You...are a BAD FATHER!!!" Isshin yelled pointing at him accusingly.
"Ah... I didn’t rape him at least.... I’m sure he-"
Sniffle sob sniffle.
Ryuuken stopped and slowly turned his head towards the origin of the noises. It was incredibly rare to see this shocked expression on Ryuuken Ishida's face. Isshin should have taken out a camera to imortalize it forever.
But never had he seen this sight before.

Over in the corner on in a most undignified position was his son Uryuu, crying!
Actually really and Truly CRYING. As far as he knew,Uryuu had never cried before. What made him feel the worse was the realization that HE had made him cry.
Liquid gushed from Uryuu's normally clear blue eyes as he pitifully bit his bottom lip in a attempt to stop sobbing. Ichigo suddenly appeared through the window and rushed over to him shouting "oy Ishida! Are you ok!?" in his normal 'punk-tone'.
Uryuu could only manage to raise his head up and try to grunt.
"D...daddy...mol...."
Ichigo blinked at him with a curious look.
"My daddy is a molester!" cried the Quincy archer as tears exploded from him again.
Ichigo frowned solemly, placed a hand on Uryuu's shoulder and then turned to glare at Ryuuken.
"I...was only..." Ryuuken began as he tried to defend his honor but was cut off again by Isshin and Ichigo's swords narrowly cutting of his head.
As the Kurosaki’s chased Ryuuken, he wondered why in his right mind he had gone along with such a perverted idea to try and get "closer" to Uryuu.
It had failed and now he was under threat of being be-headed.

Days later...

" AS I TOLD YOU SEVERAL TIMES URYUU-"
-the old quincy tried to start-
"SHUTTUP YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!!"
-His son Barked out cutting him off mid sentence-
"DONT TALK ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER THAT WAY!!"
"THE COURT ORDER SAYS 60ft!! MOVE AWAY FROM THE DOOR OR I'M CALLING KUROSAKI-SAN!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE-"
-the older quincy growled-
"THATS IT I'M CALLING MOTHER!!"
"WAH! Hold on now!! Don’t be so hasty!"
-Ryuuken yelled in a painicked tone while waving his hands-

As they watched the father and son 'talk' through a steel plated wooden door Ichigo and Isshin sighed.
"You know I’d never do anything like that to you right Ichigo" Isshin said looking at his son seriously and patting him on the shoulder.
"Yeah.... " Ichigo said looked up at the sky.

"plus if you ever tried you'd lose your arm..." he anounced grinning evilly at him father.
Isshin looked hurt and whimpered "ah such a cruel son" before running off to find Karin.
END
OMAKE TIME!! WOOHOOO!! OMAKEOMAKEOMAKE!
Uryuu :what...the... Damn fangirls estranging my relationship with that guy even more.
Ryuuken: TEME!!! ....just wait till i find out where YOU live! You little-
me : -hiding in a bombshelter at a unenclosed location-
.... i think i'm going to be killed T__T;;
please also read omake!?
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side notes :
Chichi-daddy
jii-san : old man.

calling mother-in My mind Uryuu's parents got Divorced and Uryuu's sister (coughUrurucough) is outthere.

ps: HELP i can not summit this to the "Bleach" catergory!
oh nvm.... ack..
its harder to summit them @_@;;