My Truest Love
My Truest Love
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Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. I
write the characters according to my own views about them. In addition, I write
them how I think they will react in the situations I place them
OOC, since each person interprets such things differently.
"Bookman Old Style";color:#17365D;letter-spacing:.25pt;mso-font-kerning:14.0pt'>
My Truest Love
I am walking through the Seireitei
thinking of the man I love and adore. The man I love is powerful yet his body
is weak. I know being a healer, I can be a great help to him. I want to touch
him, need to touch him but the fear of rejection keeps me from my love.
Nevertheless, the guilt is eating me away! Standing by, not helping my moon and
stars, feels like a zanpakuto thrusting into my heart.
Even though, when he has to stay in
the ward, I do sneak into his room at night, to give him my healing reiatsu.
Just being able to touch and caress his body drives me insane. I want to weep
at how hard I become just from something that simple.
Beautiful is such a mundane word to
describe him, looking at him causes an ecstasy of the eyes and the soul. Oh how
sweet and gentle he is, how deeply he cares for others. His reiatsu so
overwhelming that even his weak constitution cannot overshadow it.
Therefore, I know he would be quite
gracious, if I told him my feelings. Only the little pride I have refuses to
Still it is so tempting to throw my
pride to the dogs. His charisma is so catching that you just love to be around
him. His energy is so positive and uplifting.
I look like such a fool, with my face
awestruck, because I am fortunate enough to have those steel gray eyes twinkle
at me. Then he smiles at me, my heart feels faint. I know that smile will haunt
my dreams. They always do.
My angel is a Taicho and I have loved
him for a long time. He is just not any captain, he is one of the two firsts to
become one from the academy.
My love for him does not fade, if
anything it just grows stronger every time I see him or just think of him, like
now. Sometimes, like a child, I purposely find him, just to brush a part of my
body against his garb. He looks so dashing in his uniform, so handsome and
sure.
Oh God!
"Bookman Old Style"'> I have to think of something, anything to ease this
agonizing desire. My sanity will not last much longer. He is just so perfect
for me; everything I could ever want or need the captain has in abundance.
My very cowardly mind keeps me from
him. Keeping me from falling to my knees before him, kissing
his feet, licking his legs, sucking his… I just do not know to do! My
heart is screaming at me, to be his to use. My soul cries to share his bed, to
allow my reiatsu, to heal my desire all through the night.
Should I follow my heart and have at
least a slim chance at happiness? On the other hand, continue
to follow my mind and live in abject misery, yet safe?
Maybe it is time I show a little
bravery; prove that I am a little worthy of him. Yes that is what I will do,
right now. No matter what, at least I can say, I gave my heart and soul to
someone who is more than worthy of it.