Never To Be

A/N: First, I’m going to issue a warning here, this story will contain INCEST! If this makes you at all squeamish then find something else to read please. I’m not posting it here to offend anyone, and you are being warned. The reason I’ve decided to try something like this is because me and my 15 year started watching the series (I got her interested) and she noticed a few things I have already. One, that Ichigo looks like his mother and Karin looks like their father but Yuzu must be the mail man’s because she is actually different from both siblings. Okay, I know she is supposed to be Isshen’s but I don’t think she looks like him in any way. Add in that her awareness is nothing like the others, sure Isshen couldn’t see anything at the beginning but as it was pointed out he had indeed lost his powers because Ryuuken commented about him getting his powers back at one time SO for those few reasons and I got a sick twisted sense of pervertness I’m going to attack this fic. OH, yeah, on one of the filler episodes where Yuzu finds the dead cat that kind of found her again. She commented that it was saying it was hungry and called it women’s intuition. Also near the end she distinctly speaks to it about keeping it’s transformation a secret. So we could only assume that she could indeed understand an animal spirit. Those are my reasons for this fic and I hope you enjoy if you decide to read. Technically this is Incest b/c they are portrayed as brother and sister in the manga/anime but what the hell this is fanfiction after all.

Warning: This is a Yuzu/Ichigo pairing which indicates INCEST!!!!!!! A.k.a. putting your sister to the test, etc etc. It will also contain angst, violence, language, more angst, death, and incest. Yay!

P.S. I also have limited net access atm so the editing was rushed in order to post when I could so if there are any nasty mistakes let me know and I will try to fix asap. Thanks!!!!!!




Chapter One



“Karin-chan!” Joy had Yuzu rushing forward seeing her twin standing idly in front of the double doors. She’d made it in time. Bad weather and terrible traffic had almost kept her from returning home in time. She’d had two weeks to prepare for the trip home but class and her so called boyfriend had almost caused her to leave way after the planned departure time. Thankfully her plane had been late allowing her to rush and still make it on time.


Tomorrow morning was the big day and tonight was the dinner. She could hardly believe how things had turned out. It had taken time for them to come to terms with their father’s true identity and with Ichigo becoming a full time shinigami. By the time she was twelve her family had taken a drastic change, even herself. Years had gone by swiftly bringing high school before she knew it. Puberty had brought boys and dating. Pretty soon she had decided to leave and attend school in Tokyo. After graduating first in the class she had received an acceptance letter to a wonderful university. She had never given up her desire to help sick animals. Being a nurse was all good and dandy, but she wanted to be a veterinarian. It had been two years since she’d seen her family in person and seeing them now brought tears.


“Yuzu?” Karin almost didn’t recognize the young woman flying out of the cab and towards them. As the years stretched on the differences between her and her twin grew greatly. The female racing forward was so far from herself she was taken back for a moment. No matter how greatly her father protested she had refused to grow out her hair, leaving it shoulder length even after all this time. The long flowing golden hair was much thicker than hers but just as straight. That wasn’t the only change, her figure had remained athletic and slender while the one coming this way was very ample and curvy, someone had filled out.

“Karin-chan,” it was so good to be home. Yuzu sobbed as the long arms wrapped around her waist. Wonderful, it was better than she’d imagined. As much as she enjoyed going to school she missed her family. Next time she wouldn’t stay away for so long. A chuckle had her pulling tearful eyes away from her sister’s shoulder towards the towering male she hadn’t noticed until now. It still amazed her how someone like this could have won over her twin’s heart. She’d always imagined Karin falling for a guy that was moody and loud. What stood before her was a giant that was gentle as a newborn babe. It was apparent from the gaze that fell on the brunette that the man was more than devoted to at least two Kurosaki’s. “Hello, Sado-kun.”


“Yuzu-chan, it’s good to see you again.” Sado placed a hand on the slender shoulder of his bride to be. As soon as Ichigo showed up they would start go inside to have dinner. He was glad that the timid twin had made it in time. It was all he’d heard last night while laying in bed. Karin had been concerned that both her siblings wouldn’t be there for their wedding. Ichigo still lived with their father but was always busy with shinigami detail. He tried to assure her that neither would miss their day. Hell no, Ichigo wouldn’t pass up the chance to aggravate him. Years ago he had been told by Yuirichi that being around Ichigo Kurosaki had caused his hidden powers to manifest and he had believed that. It wasn’t until last year when he had saved the loud mouth younger sibling that things had begun to change for him. It was after he admitted his feelings that he recalled that fateful day. He had begun to be somewhat aware anyways but it had been with Karin that his power had manifested. His grandfather had told him that one day he’d discovered why he’d been given his strength. On that day he had protected his future.


“Can you go get her things please?” Karin addressed the question to her boyfriend and frowned when he only nodded. Was he thinking again? She turned her attention back towards her twin and beamed. “I’m so glad you could make it, I was worried. How did you do on your mid-terms? When does the next semester start? How long can you stay?”


“Whoa,” Yuzu held up both hands at the parade of questions, she had a few of her own. “I’m great and of course I’d make it. I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world. It kind of sucks that you are having it three days after mid-terms but you’re more important but to answer your questions, I’m sure I aced them. I got a few weeks to blow before I’m going back. Where is the old man and where is Ichi-nii? Is he still dating Orihime-chan and is Tatsuki still with the one guy?”


“Tatsuki is still with the nerdy friend of Ichi-nii and him and Orihime split not long after you left. Don’t ask me what happened because I don’t really know. You were right when you said he didn’t look happy. Honestly, I think he’s been regretting his decision. Lately every time he manages to drag his ass home he is moody and mopes around.” Karin pointed towards the double doors of the restaurant. “The old man is inside making an ass of himself and Ichi is handling something at the moment, shinigami stuff I think.”


“Oh, I can’t wait to see him again.” Yuzu frowned knowing that he might not make it back for dinner. She’d been looking forward to seeing him most of all. Her brother had become distant since the war ended and he started dating. She still remembered getting on the plane and wishing he had been there to see her off. Her last two years of high school, the times she’d seen him at home had been few and far between and even then those had been brief. She understood that he had a busy life and he was doing something important, more important than coddling a baby sister.


“Well he better show or he’ll never hear the end of it. I don’t get married often,” Karin already decided this would be her only attempt at matrimony. If Sado had his way then divorce would never come into the picture. If it weren’t for the way he acted during sex she’d swear he babied her like a younger sibling.


“I’m so shocked that you will be the first. Pops always swore that I’d be the first one to settle down.” Yuzu didn’t know if she’d ever want to get married. Her current boyfriend was already forcing her to the point where she ended things. No matter who she dated something was always missing. Maybe there was no Mr. Right out there for her. The problem was she didn’t know what she wanted. Whenever she thought about it she would always end up comparing them to her brother. She definitely didn’t want someone like Pops.


“What’s happening with Saito?” Karin was sure that idiot had been dumped months ago but Yuzu wasn’t always the brightest. She’d instantly disliked that guy without meeting him just by hearing his voice over the phone. She didn’t need her twin to give her any details to know the guy was an ass.


“Oh, I suggested taking a break before I left and he wasn’t too happy about it. He said I just need a few weeks to cool my head and he’d see me when I got back.” Yuzu graciously thanked Sado as he placed her suitcase next to her feet. She wasn’t sure how she’d feel after her vacation was over but was sure that her mind wouldn’t change, she just wasn’t happy in her current relationship. Saito was the first relationship that had gotten to the sexual stage and that was causing more of a problem than anything. It felt like their times together were more for him than her. She wasn’t selfish but thought it should be an equal endeavor.


“Yuzu-chan!” The elderly Kurosaki came flying out of the double doors spotting the girl standing there looking as beautiful as the day she’d left them. It wasn’t until she smiled that his stopped in his tracks. Seeing it sent a shiver down his spine and wondering how her looks could change so drastically. “My little girl is home.”


“Stuff it and I swear I’ll choke you if you make a scene you old bastard.” Karin snapped as he lifted Yuzu off of her feet and swung her in a circle. She’d sure the hell strangle someone if Ichi-nii showed up late and they caused commotion during her practice dinner. Her two siblings had missed the practice but she was sure Yuzu would be okay tomorrow. All her twin had to do was walk down the aisle. Orihime and Tatsuki would be following behind on the arms of Ishida and Keigo. Ichigo was the best man and would be standing up with Sado.


“So cruel,” Isshen groaned as a fist slammed into the back of his head. Whatever did Sado see in his hostile seed? His daughter had grown up nothing like his wonderful Masaki. “Owe owe, shall we head on inside? From the feel of things your brother won’t be able to make it.”


“Let me put this in the car real quick before I head inside. Can I have your keys?” She gratefully took the key ring and declined the offer of assistance from Sado. Everyone else was probably inside waiting for the dinner to begin so she couldn’t dawdle. Thankfully Karin was driving the same vehicle and it was parked near the front door. After setting the case inside the trunk she paused and extended her senses. Til this day they probably dulled compared to Karin’s and everyone else’s but it only took a few seconds for her to locate where her brother was. It was near and stationary if she were correct. To make sure she stood and focused on the source. There wasn’t anything else nearby so what was Pops referring to? Why was Ichii-nii just standing somewhere?


The trunk slammed shut and she couldn’t bring herself to move. Her gaze lingered in the direction he was in. She hadn’t seen him in over two years, what would another day hurt? Would he make it for the wedding? She planned on staying at home during her vacation and as far as she knew he still lived at home. What was he doing? Sighing softly she wished he’d make it soon.






“What if I walk too fast?” Yuzu wrung her fingers in anticipation. How could Karin give her the position that would be first in line? Okay, the groom and best man were already standing out there being gawked at but all heads would turn to her when the music started. What if she tripped? The gown was a deep rose color with flowing sleeves and lace down the front. It was beautiful considering Karin had been the one to pick it out.


“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine. Is this damn thing on crooked? And is Ichi-nii standing where he’s supposed to?” Karin was so nervous she felt like kicking something. What the hell had made her think she could do this? Her stomach was all in knots and she couldn’t breath. “I can’t breath.”


“Hai, he’s standing next to Sado-kun and you look beautiful.” Orihime beamed at the young girl and almost felt jealous at how beautiful a bride the Kurosaki made. For so long she had envisioned these two as her own sisters when she had been with their brother. “You are going to be very happy with Sado-kun.”


“Thank you,” Karin accepted the hug. Her nerves were all over the place as her father knocked on the door. This was it, she was getting married. Deep down she knew she was making the right choice because with her giant she had found something special. Her family was here to support her and witness the vows, this was her special day. “I think I’m ready.”


“Can someone hurry up and zip me.” Tatsuki ran up to Yuzu showing her where the zipper was only partly done in the back. She couldn’t believe she’d let Ichigo talk her into wearing a dress! Uryuu had already been scolded about keeping his opinion to himself on the matter. He had commented last night he was dying to see her in the damn thing.


“You’re going to have Ishida-kun’s eyes popping out. So Ichi-nii made it after all.” Yuzu was slightly disappointed that he hadn’t made it to the dinner and had been gone when she’d woken up this morning. He hadn’t been here when they arrived at the church either but they had come early so she could practice walking and shown where to stand. After practicing all the females had come into the office to get ready for the big day. “There you go, oh you’re clip.”


“Thanks, but it’ll probably start falling again. I don’t have enough hair to keep it in place.” Tatsuki undid the clip that had a budding rose glued on and snapped it back in place. Her hair was thick but still kept extremely short. She didn’t see how Orihime or Yuzu could handle all that hair, especially Yuzu. While her best friend’s hair was long it wasn’t that thick. “Okay, let’s do this wedding thing.”


“Let’s,” Yuzu grabbed the bouquet filled with multiple flowers and took a deep breath. As she exited the room and made her way to the double doors she paused and gave their father a wide smile. The man was already starting to weep. A bubbly plump woman was standing next to him and seeing the wedding party coming out she nodded and entered the left door. A spark of fear coiled in her gut as the latch was pushed and it remained open. She was standing behind the one still closed but the many voices from inside came to a crashing halt and silence was heard for several seconds.


“This is it, are you sure you don’t want your Pops to run away with you?” Isshen walked up to his little girl and frowned. He’d be giving her away, giving her to a good man but he was losing her just the same. She looked so beautiful, it reminded him of his own wedding day. He cringed seeing the death glare and placed her hand on his elbow.


“You look wonderful,” Uryuu had almost toppled over as his girlfriend came out of the changing room. In a matter of minutes the entire guest list would soon see why he had chosen the startling martial artist as the one for him. She was the other half that made him whole and standing next to her now he knew he’d made the right decision in speaking to her father the other day.


“Thanks but I feel kind of weird.” Tatsuki knew the dress made her look feminine but that didn’t make up for her lack of womanly attributes. She’d always felt left out standing next to Orihime but eyeing Yuzu that was now taking her place up front the feeling doubled. The twin didn’t hold a candle next to her best friend but it was obvious which half of that pair had gotten lucky. The only one that had smaller tits than herself was the bride.


“Shh, its starting.” Orihime wiped the tear from her eye and took the arm Keigo was offering. She’d always wanted to be in a wedding and she was glad that her and Kurosaki had remained close after the breakup. It felt wonderful to hear the music begin to play.


Yuzu almost missed the cue and quickly stepped around the door. This was it, her sister was getting hitched. She didn’t need to fake the smile as she stepped inside and all eyes fell on her. Her gown was a little different than the others and resembled a kimono more than a classic gown. In a way she was also giving Karin away. One foot in front of another, she saw Sado fidget as several gasping noises settled over the crowd as the rest of the wedding party descended down the aisle. She missed most of the audiences sighs as she brought her gaze to the front and on the slender form standing beside the groom. The face was harder but she’d never mistake it for anyone else. The bright hair looked out of place in the dark tux but to her he couldn’t have been more handsome.


Ichigo’s new his eyes had widened as the first girl entered from behind the large door. The maid of honor, it was Yuzu, he felt it the second her eyes landed on him. Could two years make that big of a difference? His sister had just been flourishing when she’d gone away to school. Karin looked adorable in the white gown but his gaze kept sweeping back to the front. His throat tightened as she smiled and took her appointed spot across from him.


She was going to cry, dammit! Yuzu sniffed as Sado took her twin’s hand and looked like he’d been handed the best thing since sliced bread. Words were being spoken as her father handed his child over to another man. After Isshen took his seat, she felt lost as her sister listened as the vows were made. It was tear wrenching to hear the big lug swear eternal love to Karin. Her fingers tightened around the flowers as the couple went to their knees. Feeling like she was being watched, she turned her head to find that Ichi-nii wasn’t watching the vows but was still looking at her.


He couldn’t get over how much she had changed. Ichigo felt like he’d been punched in the gut as she met his gaze. That timid smile had her lips tilting in the corner. It was hard to focus to the words being spoken but his hand moved on cue when the rings were asked for. Dammit, why couldn’t he stop staring at her? His eyes flickered – forcefully- towards his ex and saw she was watching him with a hopeful expression. That had him looking back at the couple exchanging their vows. He knew Orihime still had hopes that he’d change his mind but it wouldn’t happen.


She wondered what was going through his mind. Yuzu had always wished she’d had the kind of bond that Karin had shared with their brother but it had never happened. Growing up the two had more in common and she’d always been left out in some way. Karin had been closer to Ichigo in awareness and even when it came to fighting. She knew that no matter how close they were as twins Karin held a kinship with their older brother that she’d never experience. She wasn’t resentful but at times it made her lonely. Not one day had gone by that she didn’t remember crying late at night because she had believed him to be slipping away. Karin had been the first one to learn about his shinigami life and all she’d known was that Ichigo was growing distant. Those days were in the past but not forgotten.


Ichigo let his smile drop as the old geezer asked Karin to repeat the vows. Was it possible to cherish someone for the rest of your life? Being a shinigami he knew how long that could be. After trying a relationship with Orihime he wasn’t sure if he was cut out for one. It could explain why he had never really thought about dating growing up. He couldn’t really say that he loved Orihime. He cared about her greatly as a friend and comrade but he didn’t love her. The most important woman in his life had already passed away and the only other two that he loved were his sisters. He felt closer to Karin, always had, but Yuzu meant a lot to him too. The feelings for both had always been separate and different. Looking upon Karin as she smiled widely up at his friend he felt an overwhelming surge of protectiveness and need to call her cute. As his gaze swept back over Yuzu the urge to protect became stronger –maybe because she’d always been the weaker one- and an unknown stirring in his chest. Dammit, she was beautiful.


“So beautiful!” Isshen whimpered as the large man brought his little girl in a tight embrace to seal the vows. If only his Masaki had lived to see this day, she’d be so proud. The sealing continued as the crowd started clapping and cheering for the married couple.


Yuzu blushed as her sister’s face disappeared and the embrace lasted longer than was necessary. Could Karin breath? Someone giggled behind her and a loud male voice broke out in laughter from the seats. It took Ichigo clearing his throat before the two split apart. The bride’s face was flushed when it was all over. It was no wonder Karin stammered when speaking about their relationship. When would she find a man to kiss her like that?


Ichigo moved as the couple started making their way down the aisle. He knew he was supposed to escort Yuzu outside since she was the Maid of Honor. He looked down as she stepped up next to him. His elbow was quickly grabbed and he almost pulled away as a shiver of awareness ran up his arm to settle deep in his gut. Being this close he noticed that Karin had been the only one to hit a growth spurt after hitting eighteen. The top of her head stopped below his shoulders now.


Orihime walked behind the siblings and glanced around the crowd. She quickly waved seeing that Urahara had managed to make an appearance as well although the man was standing in the back. Why was he frowning? It was shocking to see the man not grinning from ear to ear when tragedy wasn’t striking. He wasn’t even looking at the newlyweds but was watching Ichigo with great interest.


Kisuke Urahara almost forgot to smile as he noticed he was being watched. Orihime-chan was looking right at him and he nodded at her in hello. The ceremony had been lovely but that hadn’t been his main reason for stopping in. His gaze swept back to Kurosaki-kun and the young lady on his arm. He had been informed by Isshen that the entire family would be here for the event. His heart twisted as the young girl suddenly gazed up to smile at her brother. So much like her mother he almost moved from the spot his feet had taken him. The wide smile, the hazel eyes and even the angelic face was so much like the mother his heart ached. This wasn’t the time to regret or reminisce; he had a groom to speak to before heading back to the shop.


Yuzu was loath to let go of the strong arm but extended her arms as Karin rushed into them. There would be nothing afterwards so the couple could catch their flight. A few people were going back to the clinic for the evening but the newlyweds were off to start their life together. She sobbed as the arms that had always been there for her tightened. “Promise that no matter what happens I won’t lose you.”


“It’s a promise,” Karin held the tears at bay. Wasn’t it enough that everyone else was starting to sob? Except Ichigo, he was carrying a strange expression as she turned to him. “Take good care of her while I’m away.”


He welcomed her into his embrace and nodded. Things would be just fine and he’d miss her while they were gone. Chad wanted to take Karin to Mexico to where his grandfather was buried. It’d be a long honeymoon but who was he to complain? He released her and stepped back. “Congratulations man. Try not to let her push you around too much.”


“Hai,” Sado took the hand and shook it. He knew how much it meant for Ichigo to trust him with her safety and wellbeing. He adored her more than life itself and would do his best to make her happy.


Ichigo stepped back so Orihime could rush forward and congratulate the couple. His father made it even harder to stand nearby so he chose that moment to get some fresh air. He made his way through the crowd and over to their father’s car. From here he watched as all the single females lined up and Karin turned her back to them. Why were they practicing that tradition? A chuckle escaped as the crowd went wild and the bouquet was caught. A toothy Tatsuki was waving it in the air as the couple rushed to the awaiting car. His sister found him before entering and waved happily.


“Amazing isn’t it,” Yuzu spoke loud enough for him to hear as the car began to pull away. Her breath felt like it was choking her when those brown eyes centered on her. Sometime in the last two years her brother had become a man. There had still been a softness to his features when she’d left home but it was no longer there. Nothing boyish remained in the stern face, he had fully matured. He’d grown a few inches and his shoulders had filled out.


“Hai, I often wonder how he puts up with her temperament.” Karin was just like him in many ways and it was shocking that Chad dealt with the girl’s attitude without going crazy. Ichigo leaned against the vehicle as the limo began to disappear into the distance.


“You have a point, you two act a lot alike and I use to wonder the same thing about Orihime-chan.” She regretted the words as the frown crossed his face. Maybe bringing up his relation with the girl wasn’t the brightest thing to do. The two were still friends but she had no idea what had happened between them or if he still had feelings for the woman. “Sorry.”


“Don’t be,” he didn’t care anymore. He and Orihime both knew why they hadn’t worked out. His heart had been in the relationship for starters and she hadn’t been the one for him. As much as she posed to love him there was a side she would always have trouble dealing with. For so long he told himself it was only natural for her to show fear whenever his hollow side had come to light. The image of her first reaction would always be indented in his memory. The reaction had lessened as time went by but the damage had been done. He knew if he found someone she would have to love all of him and trust him completely. Not to mention she’d have to accept what he was and not fret constantly to the point of becoming an annoyance. He should have listened to the nagging voice that he despised the night he had first lain with Orihime. That fucker had gone on about instinct once more and stated that it should be telling him Orihime wasn’t the right one for them. Of course, all he’d received after asking just who was the right one, was a wicked laugh then a sadistic ‘You shall see soon enough.’


“Tatsuki has asked me to ride back to the house with them after we change. Are you going to ride back with Ishida-kun?” Yuzu hoped he’d be at the house when they got there. So far she hadn’t received a decent greeting from him. Hadn’t he missed her all this time? Was something bothering him besides seeing their sister wed? She’d heard that weddings could often cause depression.


“Yuzu-chan, we are going to change now.” Orihime ran up to the siblings speaking loudly. A small dinner was waiting for them at the clinic. She was hoping for a chance to speak to Ichigo later. With luck seeing how happy the couple were together it would make him rethink on their own problems. She still hadn’t given up on him and wouldn’t stop now. It didn’t matter how many times they discussed their problems he kept repeating the same excuses but she knew he was just scared because he loved her. Even Tatsuki had just commented that as she walked up the aisle Ichigo had been wearing the look of a man in love. How could he deny that he still cared for her? They’d been through so much together, she wouldn’t let him go.


“Kay, I’ll see you at home Ichi-nii.” She spun on her heels and rushed towards the dressing room. No one was shocked or commented when Orihime didn’t come inside until five minutes later. Yuzu was busy slipping on her jeans as the girl walked in with a bright smile. She was starving and wanted to hurry home.


Tatsuki waited until they were all slipping on their shoes before asking, “What the hell are you so happy about? Did you have your talk with Ichigo?”


“Hai, kind of. I think you are right and I’m going to talk to him again once we get to the house. Although, I’m not sure if this is the best time to broach the subject.” Orihime slipped on her sneakers and searched to find her purse.


“What am I missing? Are you and Ichi getting back together?” Yuzu ran the brush through her hair and waited for the answer. Is that what had taken the girl so long to get back? It would explain why he seemed so sullen and withdrawn. Had watching Karin get married made him regret not being with Orihime? Why did the thought of them getting back together make her sad? She wanted her brother to be happy, didn’t she?


“I hope so,” Tatsuki jerked the shoestrings in place. “Your brother has been rather moody lately. He had a reputation for being withdrawn and pissy in highschool but lately he’s been reliving his glory days. Even Uryuu has spoken to him about it. He want talk to anyone about what’s bothering him but I think its regret. Did you notice the look on his face as the wedding started? I’ve never seen a look like that on his face since I’ve known him. For several seconds he was wearing the same expression as the groom. It was the look of a man in love and we all know he wasn’t looking at me. Seriously, you agree don’t you? After seeing that she should try working things out with him again.”


“Oh, I wasn’t really paying attention. Maybe,” Yuzu wasn’t sure what look they meant. She hadn’t seen him with that kind of expression. Well there was a period when she was looking forward and then at the spot she’d be standing. It must have been during those brief seconds that he had been watching Orihime walk down the aisle. “I just want him to be happy. The same look as Sado-kun? Maybe its true and he’s just being stubborn as usual.”


“See, I told you so.” Tatsuki nodded vigorously at her best friend in encouragement. There was no denying the look Ichigo Kurosaki had been wearing as he watched the wedding progression. A look of wonder had crossed his features and his eyes had softened in awe. That was one man that had seen his future walking towards him. “I’m telling ya girl, despite his protests that was the look of a man in serious love.”


“Thank you Tatsuki-san. Now I feel like we have a chance to make things work.” Orihime grinned at the wonderful implication. She couldn’t give up, she knew what Ichigo wanted even if he hadn’t accepted it yet. “Are you sure you don’t want to give me that bouquet instead?”





So many people it was giving her a migraine. When would the last one leave? Or the better question would be when would Orihime scram? Yuzu felt horrible at the question making her want to grit her teeth. She was never the rude one or the one to cause trouble. Everyone else had left hours ago but the ex wouldn’t go home. It didn’t matter that Ichigo had been gone when they had gotten here. One nod between Ishida and her father she knew where he had run off to. Sneaking back into his room proved that his lifeless body was resting comfortably on his bed. It had been hard but she had quietly shut the door and went back downstairs.


Three hours of listening to everyone converse while eating had her drained. There was a good chance it was jetlag getting to her or she was weary of all the wedding talk. Tatsuki and Ishida had left twenty minutes ago. Up until that point the two girls had been going on about the chances of a double wedding. That talk had quickly gotten on her nerves and she had excused herself into the kitchen. She’d always felt better when cleaning and cooking. Most of the food had been disposed of an hour of the guests stopping by.


Even now she was rinsing off a dish and placing it in the washer. Before the herd had devoured the meal, she had fixed a plate and wrapped it up. It was a good thing since not even a crumb was left of the main course. The small of her back was aching from cleaning without pause but it had helped the time pass. When would he return?


“I think I’m going to head upstairs and take a shower.” Yuzu placed the rag in the sink and addressed her father. He was still sitting at the table listening to Orihime discuss dress patterns. Was the girl really that confidant that Ichigo wanted her back? What if Tatsuki was right? It wasn’t any of her concern and Pops was idiot enough to find the repetitive conversation pleasant then better him than her.


The day had taken its toll and weariness had her limbs moving slowly up the steps. She hadn’t even unpacked her suitcase yet, that would have to wait until tomorrow. Right now she wanted nothing more than to stand under scolding hot water and cry. The need was strong as she cleared the top step. She paused hearing a disturbing swear word coming from her brother’s room. Was he home? She was too drained and tired to bother with trying to become aware. Instead she placed her hand on the knob and slowly opened the door.


Ichigo swore as the bedroom door swung open and he came face to face with his sister. His body was still lying on the bed where he’d left it. Had his voice carried when he’d come into the room? Had all the guests left? He was sure his father had made his excuses to those that didn’t know about his life. What was Yuzu doing in here? “How many times do I have to lecture you about just walking into my room?”


“Hmm, I take it back, you’re even meaner now that you’ve become a man.” She didn’t care how many times they bickered about her abuse of his privacy, it warmed her soul. Oh how she had missed him. He was still in his shinigami form. The large sword was strapped to his back but that didn’t bother her. It was still Ichi no matter what he was wearing. A sob tore from her throat and the tears escaped as the seconds ticked by.


Ichigo had been prepared for the smartass comeback but was too stunned to move as she raced across the room and slender arms wrapped around his waist. The embrace took him by complete surprise but on their own accord his arms pulled her close. It’d been a long time since he’d hugged her, he couldn’t remember the last time they had embraced in any way. Not even when she’d been leaving to go away to college. The idea of her leaving had been too painful so he hadn’t been there to see her off.


The warmth had her tightening the hold around his waist uncaring that she was brushing up against the weapon. All that mattered was that he was holding her again. She couldn’t even begin to cry properly. As soon as both arms pulled her close all emotion had locked up in order to savior the moment. Her face was buried in the black material but that didn’t matter, nothing did. The impact made her realize just how much she had missed him. “Ichi.”


“It’s okay,” was it? Ichigo sighed knowing that wasn’t the case. He didn’t want to see her cry again, not because of him. Had he been hurting her by neglecting her? It was his fault because he had always felt a stronger sibling bond with Karin. Now that the other girl was gone Yuzu had to be feeling lonely especially with him being distant for so long. He didn’t love the sister in his arms any less but more, as he held her close it hurt to know just how much different the emotion was. His brain was screaming for him not to enjoy the way she felt in his arms. He was loath to let her go even as the dark side of his soul slowly came to life at the sensation of holding her so close. So warm, so soft, so forbidden, and all he could do was hold on.


“I have missed you so much,” Yuzu felt so warm and safe in the embrace. It’d been so long since she’d felt content just to be next to a person. It was odd that only Ichi could make her feel completely safe. Several smells clung to his person and one was blood. It was faint but there. Even that didn’t make her pull away or recoil in disgust.


Had he missed her? He didn’t want to think about it. Since she’d left he’d tried to focus on his duties while helping their father around the clinic. Not to mention there had been his relationship with Orihime to take up his time. Had he missed her on the days he would find himself waiting to see her making dinner in the kitchen? Or the many times he had thought it might be her bursting into his room? Had it been causing the longing feeling whenever he looked at her vacant spot at the table? Or had it caused the anger when she hadn’t been there for their yearly trip up to their mother’s grave? He didn’t know, it had been more like a large piece of himself had gone missing instead of a sibling. Would he feel the same way now that Karin would be gone for some time with Chad?


“Kurosaki-kun,” Orihime burst through the opened doorway only to pause at the sight. She was sure she had sensed him up here and had eagerly come up to speak to him. She blushed as Yuzu turned tearful eyes in her direction. Of course Yuzu would be upset about Karin getting married. She felt like a toad at interrupting the sibling moment. Ichigo was trying to comfort his sister and she had intruded. “Sorry, I can come back later.”


“No, it’s okay Orihime-chan. I guess I got a little emotional but I’m okay now. Thanks Ichi-nii,” Yuzu should have known that the girl would realize that Ichigo had returned. Their father hadn’t come rushing up too which meant the old fart understood that Orihime wanted to speak to him alone. Right now she was in the way also. The smile wobbled but remained in place as she walked out of the bedroom. Why was she so sad? It couldn’t be because Karin was starting a life without her. Maybe it was because she was envious of her twin. Perhaps deep down she wanted someone to look at her the way Sado-kun had gazed at her sister and the way her brother had graced Orihime with. Was it merely loneliness for someone or someone special?

A/N: If you read please rate and/or review. This isn't my normal type of fic and I'm going to try to keep then in character as much as possible considering I'm taking it slighlty into an AU perspective. So my key concern is making it believable, the entire angst of the situation etc, if you get my meaning. So even if it's good job or commentary about how it's flowing I'd appreciate any output. Thanks!!