Fate

Years feel a lot shorter when you’re dead. I should know. Four of them have passed since I came to the Soul Society, but most days it feels like about a quarter of that.

Today, however, was not one of those days.

Have you ever heard the phrase “Fate is a cruel mistress”? I hadn’t until I arrived here, but I feel it suits my current situation rather well. My name is Ishida Uryuu, and I just graduated from the Academy of Spiritual Arts. That’s right, I am now a Shinigami.

O cruel irony, how thou dost torture me.

I suppose I should have seen it coming. After all, having such advanced spiritual powers during my time among the living essentially guaranteed the path I would travel once I passed on. And I did willingly make the choice to attend the Academy. But that doesn’t mean it can’t still really irk me. I still wore my old Quincy cross on my wrist, purely out of spite. I may be dead, but I still have my pride as one of the last remaining Quincy.

…wait, doesn’t my death make Ryuuken the last Quincy? That’s a painful thought…and why did it take me so long to think of it? Well, regardless of the disturbing nature of that thought, there really isn’t anything I can do about it now. Ooh, maybe I’ll get to go perform his konso when he finally drops. That’d be fun. Or maybe he’ll turn into a Hollow before anyone can get to him and I’ll get to hack him up. That would certainly help me deal with some of my unresolved issues with the bastard.

I think dying has changed my sense of humor. I seem to have developed a successful evil laugh as well. I’ve frightened my fellow classmates with it many times, as well as some of my instructors. It’s quite fun. Hell, I could probably even scare Kurosaki now if-

And just like that, I could feel the smile I was wearing vanish. Kurosaki Ichigo. My classmate, my rival, my comrade, my friend, my first and last love and lover. Kurosaki was all of this and more, regardless of whether or not I would admit to some of them. And he was also the last thing I saw before I came here.

What should have been a simple battle against a Hollow ended in tragedy for the both of us. I lost my life, and Kurosaki lost me. That isn’t meant to sound conceited, though it may come across that way. I still see his face, tear-stained and twisted with anger and sadness. Whenever I try to sleep, that image forces itself into my head. It has resulted in many a sleepless night, usually spent curled up on my side, silently crying until I feel empty and sick. Stars, what I wouldn’t give to see him again. To see him happy, full of life. Anything to help me forget that face…

A strong hand on my shoulder shook me out of my own memories and brought me back to reality. Said hand belonged to one Abarai Renji, Squad 6 Lieutenant. My lieutenant now, I suppose. I had hoped to avoid meeting him for a bit longer, but it looked like my luck in the matter had run out. I suspected it would as soon as I was told that I’d been assigned to Squad 6. He grinned at me while continuing to grip my shoulder.

“Ishida! Hey, what’re you doing back? And why’re you wearing a shihakusho? You trying to do some undercover work or something? Sorry to burst your bubble, but I think most people here already know what you look like. Oh hey, where’s Ichigo? If you’re here he can’t be far behind. I haven’t seen him in forever. How is he? And why didn’t you guys let me know that you were back? I would’ve come to meet you. Did Rukia know? I bet she did, Ichigo always tells her wh-”

“SHUT UP!” I could feel my face burning, eyes stinging from unspilled tears left from my previous train of thought and Abarai’s words. The redhead actually jumped away from me, eyes wide.

“Wh-what? Did I say something wrong?”

“I’m dead, you moron!”

He stared at me for a full minute before speaking again. “What? How? When? Why didn’t you let us know?”

I glared at him for a beat before turning and walking off as quickly as I could, torn between whether or not I wanted him to follow me. I heard him behind me before I had made up my mind, but I led him to a quiet building nearby all the same. I turned to face him once I heard the door close, and we just stared at each other for a while.

And then I told him everything.

I told him about the Hollow, about the fight, about how I’d thrown myself in front of the thing to protect Kurosaki. I kept my voice flat, working to keep my emotions under control as I told him about Kurosaki performing the konso on me, about my sleepless nights and still frequent nightmares. And all he did was listen. He didn’t say a word, didn’t even try to, until I had finished. For such a damned loudmouth, he really does make a good listener.

When I was done, he walked up to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, leaning down slightly to look my in the eyes. He began to lean in, and for one horrifying second I thought he was going to kiss me. But all he did was rest his forehead against mine, staring at me. And then he finally spoke.

“And to makes matters worse, you look terrible in that outfit.”

Maybe it was the pure absurdity of that statement in the given situation, maybe it was the deadly serious tone in his voice when he said it. Either way, that one sentence made me burst out laughing. It was a good, honest laugh, too. One that I could feel in my stomach and chest. It made my lungs burn and my sides hurt, and I had to sit down before I fell. I took off my glasses, wiping the tears on my face away as my fit subsided. When I put them back on, the tattooed man was seated a couple feet away, a kind smile on his face. I smiled back, nodding at him. He stood and headed for the door.

“You ever need to talk again…”

I nodded again. “Thanks.”

He gave me a small wave and left, closing the door behind him. I sighed and leaned back on my arms, staring at the ceiling. I hadn’t laughed like that in a long, long time. Since before I’d died, undoubtedly. I closed my eyes and let myself think of Kurosaki. I thought of him smiling, laughing like I just had. I thought of us together, of our little digs at one another. Mine were usually about his lacking skills at utilizing his spiritual pressure or his hair. His would normally center around my sewing and my Quincy garb. And then I would point out that the shirt he always said was his favorite was one that I’d made. His ears would turn red and he’d mumble something unintelligible at the wall. It would always make me laugh, and he would eventually join in.

I thought about our first kiss, an awkward affair that happened just after we returned to the world of the living after saving Rukia. We had been arguing over some stupid little thing that I don’t even recall. I think it was along the lines of my saying his zanpakuto was compensating for something. It was after a small battle against a minor group of Hollow. I made a silly comment, and he got quite mad. I saw how riled up my jibe had made him, so I kept prodding at him. He would tell me to shut up, but I was having too much fun to comply. He growled at me and grabbed me, mashing his lips against mine. It served it’s purpose and shut me up, but soon after we both decided that we enjoyed it, regardless of whether or not that was the intention. We began what could be loosely interpreted as dating soon after.

I remember the time when we were seventeen and Kurosaki locked us in a custodial closet at school because he was too horny to wait until we got out for the day. I remember kicking him in the crotch when I realized he had gotten us stuck in there. I remember the very surprised look on the custodian’s face when he opened that door and found me balls-deep in my moron of a lover, who was bent at a very strange angle due to the small space we were in.

Those moments and countless others like them drifted around in my mind, leaving me smiling happily. I stretched my arms over my head and heard a series of satisfying pops in my back. I groaned in a pleasant way and left the building, not surprised to find that it had become dark outside. I jumped onto the small structure’s roof and headed over the rooftops in the direction of the Squad 6 barracks. My few personal belongings had been transferred from Academy housing to a small room on the eastern side of the complex. I quickly undressed and laid down on my futon. I fell asleep faster than usual, my dreams more pleasant than they had been in a long time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was woken at first light by a Hell butterfly jingling softly in my ear. The message it carried said to dress for battle and report to the training grounds. I grumbled unhappily, but I found myself strangely excited in spite of myself. I dressed quickly and tucked my zanpakuto into the sash at my waist, hurrying the short distance to the barren waste we called a training area. When I got there only three other officers were assembled, and I recognized each of them from the Academy. We stood in a line and looked straight ahead at our new Captain, Kuchiki Byakuya. He took a step forward and looked at each of us in turn, and in doing so greatly reminded me of an overly-strict school teacher. The thought made me want to chuckle, but I held back as best I could. His gazed lingered on me for a long moment, and he looked like he wanted to sneer at me. He refrained from doing so and stepped back, his voice flat as he informed us of our mission.

“You four are the newest additions to Squad 6. Today will be your first solo exercise, and I expect you all to excel. If you do not, you will be punished.” I could hear my fellow officers gulp at that. “Each of you will be dispatched to a separate area in the world of the living, and you will each be given the coordinates of a soul in need of a konso. You will perform the konso, eliminate any threats to the target and return here. Understood?”

“Yes, Captain.” we said in unison.

He gave a shallow nod and stepped to one side, gesturing with one hand to the large doors behind him. We each offered a small bow and ran forward, into the foreboding valley of the Dangai.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We emerged in the world of the living a short while later. Our pagers all rang at once, informing us of the location of our waiting soul. I took in the information on my screen and sprinted off before anyone else. I wasn’t trying to show off, really, I was just sort of looking forward to this. Performing a konso was a fairly basic thing, we had all done one or two before in training exercises, but it felt much more exciting to do it alone. The early summer air was warm against my skin and I happily breathed it in as I sprinted away.

My relaxed anticipation began to ware off, however, when I began to recognize my surroundings. A large knot formed in my stomach as I looked around. I knew this place. I knew this street. I also knew where it led, and it nearly made me want to vomit.

I was in Karakura town.

And I was headed directly for the Kurosaki Clinic.

I stopped in my tracks and went to check my pager again. Yep, I was in the right place. I took a deep breath and took off again, albeit a little slower than before. It was just a coincidence, I told myself. Just someone who had either died at the clinic or somewhere nearby. Yeah, that was it. There was no way it was anyone in his family. Hell, they probably didn’t even live there anymore. Kurosaki was probably in college now, he would’ve been around 21 and it would make sense. Knowing his father, the crazy old man probably uprooted his entire business and lifestyle just to be close to his son at all times. I nodded to myself, thoughts of the Kurosaki clan pushed out of my head entirely.

And they stayed that way until I rounded my last corner…and found a head of spiky orange hair less than three feet in front of me.

I stopped short and nearly fell. I felt my eyes go impossibly wide and my mouth go bone dry. My stomach spasmed painfully and my mouth fell open. I pulled out my pager and checked it for a third time. The little light indicating my assigned soul blinked rapidly at me. The small arrow next to it was pointing directly at him. It had only been 30 seconds at most since my racing train of thought had convinced me that it couldn’t possibly be him. The fact that it was sort of made my brain go “…wah?” A new thought surfaced a short time later:

Why? Why did he send me here? Was it possible that the Captain hadn’t know? It seemed doubtful. The death of someone as strong and well-known in the Soul Society as Kurosaki Ichigo wouldn’t have gone unnoticed, especially by the captains of the 13 Court Guard Squads. At least it did seem like would have. But if he had known, then why would Captain Kuchiki send me to perform the konso? Was it a test of my will? To see if I was strong enough to send someone I was close to in life to their final resting place?

Or maybe, though it seemed extremely unlikely, maybe the Captain was trying to show some sympathy towards me. I thought about what I would’ve done if I found out that Kurosaki had died from a third party, someone like Renji. After roughly three seconds of thought, I knew what I would’ve done. I would’ve punched them in the face. Hard. In that respect, it was probably good that I had been sent here. And honestly, underneath all of my initial shock and anger, I was genuinely happy to see the man I loved again.

Either way, I was going to stab Captain Kuchiki in the eyes for this.

After a bit of thinking, I was able to collect myself to some extent, standing up straight and swallowing thickly. I managed to speak fairly normally, which surprised the hell out of me.

“Kurosaki?” My voice was just a notch above a whisper, but it served it’s purpose. His back straightened and he spun around, the chain attached to his chest jangling loudly. His jaw dropped when he saw me, and I swear his eyes actually popped out of their sockets for a second.

“I…Ishida?”

I nodded slowly, taking in his appearance. He had, surprisingly, grown at least two inches in the past four years, and he towered over even more than usual. His hair was a little bit longer, bits of it hanging over his forehead. He had grown a small goatee, and it almost made him look like a more orange version of his father. A sleek pair of square-rimmed glasses sat on the bridge of his nose, the silver of the frames making his eyes shine. He was still nothing but muscle and he was as slim as always. His shirt was basic black and sleeveless, clinging to him perfectly. The zipper in the front was pulled down part way, the upright collar resting against his neck. A pair of olive drab military-style pants sat low on his hips, a bright red canvas belt threaded through his waistband. The thick-soled combat boots he was wearing matched the pants quite well, thought they were a bit menacing. I recognized the silver chain around his left wrist as one I had given him as a birthday gift. The fact that he was still wearing it made me smile.

He was still staring at me, open-mouthed, when my gaze returned to his face. I rolled my eyes playfully at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Jeez, Kurosaki. I haven’t seen you in four years, can’t you at least-” My words were abruptly cut off by strong hands gripping my arms and a pair of lips pressed desperately to my own. I closed my eyes and pulled my arms from the space between us, wrapping them tightly around his shoulders, and he moved his hands to my hips. I sighed inwardly. He still felt the same. Still smelled the same. Still tasted the same. My heart banged against the wall of my chest from all the sensations assaulting me, each of them bringing up some little memory I thought I had forgotten. He pulled away after what felt like an eternity and held me at arms length, panting.

“Is it really you?”

That struck me as a very odd question, given the fact that he had his tongue halfway down my throat not ten seconds ago. I rolled my eyes again.

“Yes it’s me, you dolt.” I pushed my glasses up, scowling at him a bit.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes scanning my face. Then suddenly his expression broke, his face breaking into a wide, toothy grin. He crushed me into a hug, and I could hear pure, unadulterated joy in his voice. I don’t think he noticed that he was crying.

“Ishida! Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you! I’ve missed you a lot, do you know that? I can’t believe you’re here! After that day in the park I thought I’d never see you again, but here you are! Wait, did you come back because I died? How did you find out? Did someone in the Soul Society tell you? I bet they did. Screw it, it doesn‘t matter. God, I‘ve missed you!” And with that, he crushed me into another bruising hug. I had to push him back a bit when I discovered that I couldn’t breathe. I wiped at the streaks his tears had left on his cheeks. He smiled at me at turned his head, kissing my palm. When he turned back, he finally noticed my clothes.

I thought he had swallowed his tongue from the sound he made.

“Uh…Ishida? What…what exactly are you wearing?”

I felt my cheeks flare up and I scowled down at my shihakusho, trying to avoid his face. But I could still hear the barely restrained laughter in his voice as realization dawned on him.

“Oh, no. No, don’t tell me…are you a Shinigami?”

The rest of my face matched my cheeks as I nodded. Kurosaki finally couldn’t hold it back anymore and burst out in laughter, doubling over and clutching at his side. Apparently the irony of the situation didn’t escape him either. I fixed him with my best glare, but he didn’t seem to notice. I sighed and moved to lean against the wall, waiting for him to finish. He stopped abruptly a few moments later, gaze shifting quickly to the sky. It was the same place I had directed my own attention not a second before him. I felt the telltale pang of an evil reiatsu.

It was a Hollow. And it was probably coming to try and eat Kurosaki.

Well fuck that.

I drew my sword, an average looking number with a spiral patterned guard and light blue cloth on the handle, and motioned to Kurosaki. He hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded to me and moved into a nearby alleyway. I turned and leapt into the air, focused on the Hollow. It was a fairly basic enemy judging by the feel of its reiatsu, but I didn’t feel like wasting time. I wanted to get back to Kurosaki. I grit my teeth and pointed my zanpakuto straight up, a soft growl preceding my words.

“Strike…”

The Hollow finally noticed my presence and leaped at me, screeching. But I was too fast for it.

“…Zetsumei Tourou!”

There was a flash of blue light and a wave of energy passed through the air. I have a very handy zanpakuto. It splits into a three-pronged blade and can shoot high-speed kido-based blasts. In some ways, it was very much like the bow I used as a Quincy. A quick blast and a slash with my blade, and the Hollow faded into nothing. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch into a satisfied smile. This was fun without an instructor around. I sheathed my sword and headed back for the ground, where a very shocked looking Kurosaki Ichigo was waiting for me.

“Damn.”

I smirked. That seemed about right. The smirk turned into a sad smile as I looked at him. “You probably know why I’m here now, right?”

His face fell and he nodded. “Konso.” I inclined my head in agreement, and he gave a heavy sigh. “But I don’t want to go. I’m finally getting to see you again. And my sisters would never forgive me if I disappeared without saying goodbye.”

I frowned, but nodded anyway. “Alright then,” I said, “we’ll wait here until they come back. It should be fine.” He smiled at me gratefully and took my hand in his, pulling me over to sit against the wall opposite his home. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and he leaned into me. God, this felt wonderful. We sat in comfortable silence for the next two hours, waiting for Kurosaki’s father to bring the girls home from school. When they arrived, Kurosaki told them the whole story. The blonde one, Yuzu, began crying almost immediately and promised that she would talk to him every day. His other sister, Karin, said she would do the same, but she managed not to cry. I thought I could see the smallest glimmer of a tear in her eye as she turned away from us. Kurosaki’s father stepped forward, a small smile in place.

“Don’t worry about them too mush, alright? They still have Kon. Urahara made him his own personal gigai, so he’ll be around to help out and help them cope. It won’t be the same, I know, but at least they’ll still have someone, right?” His smile faded slightly, his eyes becoming sad. “We’ll miss you, son. You’ll always be in our hearts, right beside your mother.” He smiled again and turned for the house, and I could hear the smallest sniffle from him as he walked.

I turned back toward Kurosaki and wasn’t surprised to see tears silently falling down his cheeks. I was silent for a few minutes, until I felt his hand grasp at my own again. I faced him and he nodded, smiling at me.

“Thanks you for letting me say goodbye. I’m ready now.”

I very much doubted that, but I smiled back none the less. “All right.” I unsheathed my sword and flipped the hilt towards him. Then I remembered something I had thought of while waiting for his family to arrive. “When you get to the Soul Society, head for the 32nd district, alright? I’ll meet you there. I’m not sure how soon, but I promise that I will. We‘ll get you into the Shinigami Academy, and we‘ll be able to be together again.”

His smile widened ever-so-slightly and he nodded. “All right. I’ll see you soon, Uryuu.”

I smiled and leaned up, giving him a soft kiss. “Right. Soon, Ichigo.” Then I tapped the hilt of my blade to his forehead and he sank into the ground, still smiling up at me. “Soon.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Captain Kuchiki had practically chewed my face off when I returned from Kurosaki’s konso after such an excessively long time. I tried to explain, but he refused to listen. At that point, though, I could’ve cared less. I walked out of his quarters and headed for the Rukongai.

After six months of checking the 32nd district daily, I still hadn’t found Kurosaki. I knew many of the people here, but none of them had seen him.190 days of checking had yielded no results, and I was losing hope. Maybe he had ended up in one of the truly horrible districts and had been injured. Or worse. I chewed on my lip after ending my day’s search, worry eating away at me.

“Hey, you looking for me?”

That voice. Oh god, that voice. I whirled around and found myself staring directly up into deep brown eyes that I knew better than no other. “Ichigo…”

He grinned at me before grabbing me by the waist and lifting me into the air, spinning me in circles. I made a noise of protest and whacked at his shoulders, but he ignored me. By the time he put me down, my glasses were practically falling off and my hair was flying around everywhere. I was more than a little dizzy, but I still managed to scowl at him. He laughed, a full and beautiful sound, and pulled me to his chest, kissing me with a passion that made me shiver. I had him back. I really, truly did.

He pulled back after a minute and fixed my glasses. I took his hand and started walking with him down the dusty street. I found myself easily distracted by his clothing. He was wearing a simple dark green yukata, from which he had removed the sleeves and most of the length. It showed off his chest, strong arms and well-muscled legs in wonderful ways. He still had his glasses, which amazed me as I had lost mine upon arrival in the Soul Society and had to get new ones when I went to the Academy. And he still had his bracelet. I smiled and sighed happily. Then a thought occurred to me.

“Kurosaki?’

“Hmm?”

“Forgive me for asking, but I’m really curious…”

“Uh, all right. What is it?

“…How did you die?”

He stopped in his tracks, and I saw his face flare red. Interesting. He mumbled something I couldn’t hear.

“Sorry?”

Another mumble.

“Oh come on, Kurosaki, just tell me!”

He glared at me and I smiled. I heard him make a growling sound deep in his throat before taking a deep breath. “I…”

“Yes?”

“I…tripped and fell down the stairs.”

Thinking back, my reaction to this probably could have been better, but I really couldn’t stop myself. I laughed.

And laughed and laughed and laughed.

He kicked me in the shin and stormed off, grumbling. “You’re lucky I love you, or you'd be disemboweled right now.”

My laughter tapered off to a few stray giggles and I started off after him. “Love you, too, Ichigo.”

Things were finally right again. And god, did it feel good.