Picture Perfect

Picture Perfect

Summary: Nanao had a good reason for censoring Rangiku's photos. A VERY good reason. Poor Kira didn't stand a chance. Based on shinigami cup golden 165 from the anime. Hisagi/Kira/Matsumoto threesome.

A/N: I don't know why, but I haven't read any lemon fics about this omake chapter yet, even if it's prime lemon material. So I decided to make one because the plot bunny would NOT leave my head. Gaaah, stupid plot bunny. If there already is a fic like this, please give me the link because I totally wanna read it. This is my very first fic btw (and yeah, it's pr0n), so be gentle! Constructive criticism is very welcome. Flames...well, I don't care either way, but I'm just saying, don't like, don't read.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, obviously; otherwise it'd be bow-chika-bow-wow all the freaking time. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own perverse pleasure. Eh *winkwink* eh *nudgenudge*

Hope y'all enjoy this little fic of mine.

*****

This was the Worst. Idea. Ever.

When Rangiku-san asked me and Hisagi for a favor during our usual drinking session last night, I thought it would be something innocuous, like helping her with paperwork or finding a better hiding place for her sake stash so Hitsugaya-taicho wouldn't scream at her again. I should've known better. Matsumoto Rangiku did NOT do innocuous, something I learned the first time she got me drunk after I apologized for attacking her.

I really should've refused. Ikkaku and Yumichika had the good sense to refuse, and so did Renji. But I said yes, because Hisagi was punching me on one shoulder while telling me to "man up and help the lady" and Matsumoto was pressing her boobs against my other shoulder while wearing her adorable little pout. No man, living or dead, could easily resist that pout sober, much less highly inebriated like I was. It must've been the alcohol. Yeah, that was it. With Rangiku-san, it's always the alcohol.

So here I was, stripping off yet another piece of clothing until I was left wearing only my fundoshi. Stupid photo shoot. Stupid Shinigami Womens' Association. Hisagi seemed way more into this than I did, as he had already stripped and was now trying out poses with Rangiku cheering him on. Damn it, why didn't she ask just him? Why did I have to be pulled along for the ride?

"Oi, Kira, you're taking too long!" Hisagi snapped. I sighed, taking my time folding my hakama. Suddenly, I felt two pairs of hands on my shoulders. I could only yelp weakly as my two fellow fukutaicho dragged me near a bookshelf.

"Ok, now Kira-kun, squat here, and Shuuhei-kun, you stand next to him...no, closer...yes, there. Now turn around and cross your arms. Perfect!" Rangiku said, and she started snapping pictures again. My eyes hurt from the flashes.

"You're so manly!" she said, putting down the camera. I sighed in relief.

"Now take those off too."

"Huh?" Hisagi and I stared at her, panicked. Take what off now?

Suddenly, Rangiku dove at us, wielding the camera like a weapon. Hisagi managed to sidestep her, so she turned to me. Aaaaaugh! Crazy woman! I tried to run away but she had already tugged at a corner of my underwear, so my efforts only sped up my undressing and made me trip and fall. She stood over me with my fundoshi in one hand and the camera in the other, grinning triumphantly as she clicked away. Hisagi was standing beside her, laughing his ass off as I tried to cover my nakedness from Matsumoto's relentless picture taking.

"Kira, don't hide yourself, you've got a gorgeous body" she said. I colored at her words.

"Oi Izuru, did you know you're so cute when you're flustered?" Hisagi asked, trying to stifle a laugh. Rangiku turned turned to him.

"Shuu-kun, you have to do it too!" she whined, elbowing Hisagi. He considered it for a moment, then smirked.

"You just had to ask, Rangiku," he said, willingly stepping out from his underwear and tossing it in some random direction.

My jaw dropped. Hisagi was, well, stunning. I knew as well as anyone in Seireitei that Hisagi was handsome, but hot damn! My eyes drifted from the choker adorning his slim neck down to toned pecs, hard abs and...oh my.

Apparently, aside from being rather large, Hisagi's member was pierced. Holy shit.

"So folks, like what you see?" Hisagi asked.

Liked it? Oh yes, I did. It was the cherry on the top of his perfect bad boy look. Tats, scars, choker, armband, rippling muscles, and piercing. So fucking hot. It would probably feel amazing inside whomever he decided to screw. I imagined him pounding into my ass, the piercing hitting my sensitive spot with each thrust. I could feel myself starting to get hard at the thought, and Hisagi noticed. He gave me a smoldering look, and I could feel my blush grow deeper. I looked away from him to Rangiku, unable to meet his gaze. Rangiku licked her lips while looking from Hisagi to me and back again. Her thoughts seemed to be on the same track as mine, but she was not in any way shy about them.

"Shuu-kun, Kira-kun...why don't we give the Shinigami Women's Society something that will really sell out, eh?" she purred seductively, untying her sash. I gulped as her shihakusho fell from her shoulders to reveal her large breasts covered with a tiny slip of a black lace bra. Her hakama followed, revealing matching panties. I looked at Hisagi, and marveled at how his cock seemed to grow even larger at the sight of the busty fukutaicho.

"Like what you see?" she asked us back, winking saucily. My cock twitched at her words.

Yes, I liked her very much too. Like most shinigami, I'm turned on by either sex, and by now, I was fully hard and throbbing painfully due to the two gorgeous fellow fukutaicho standing over me. Rangiku leaned forward, exposing her breasts even more. Her neckace rested between her breasts, bringing attention to her deep valley. She clearly deserved the title "cleavage of the gods." She sashayed towards me and pulled me up, her boobs bouncing beautifully as she bent and straightened.

"Kira-kun, lighten up and have some fun!" she said, grabbing my erect member and stroking it lightly. I groaned at the touch, but then the rational part of my mind tried to reassert itself.

"Ra- Rangiku-san, we can't do this!" I ground out. She increased the pressure of her stroking.

"Why not? Toushi- I mean, Hitsugaya-taicho won't be here all afternoon and neither will any of the other captains because of their meeting. Besides," she crooned, continuing her ministrations, "it's not like we have to worry about your taicho or Shuu-kun's taicho anyway..." I started to back away from her, but she just followed me, her hand still grasping me.

"But Hisagi and I have to get back to our squads to...mmmph!" My protest was muffled by hard lips closing on mine. Hisagi kissed me forcefully, grabbing a fistful of my hair and pressing me against him. His tongue flicked out, seeking entrance to mine, and at the same time, Rangiku stroked me harder. I moaned against his lips. He took the opening, thrusting into my mouth and exploring every corner. I could taste him, all spicy and musky. My eyes fluttered shut, and I could see stars from all the pleasure Hisagi and Matsumoto were giving me.

Meanwhile, Rangiku knelt down and replaced her hands with her mouth. She swirled her tongue over the head of my cock, making me moan and press even more into Hisagi. She turned her attention to my shaft, licking, sucking, and nibbling as her hands massaged my balls. Hisagi's hand snaked down my back to grab my ass, making me jump and thrust into Rangiku's warm mouth. She moaned around my cock in surprise, but she recommenced her sucking quickly, bobbing her head up and down and making me groan in turn.

Hisagi finally pulled away from our kiss, and my eyes fluttered open. I nearly came at the sight that greeted me. One hand of his was still stroking my ass, while the other was fisted in Rangiku's hair, controlling her movements up and down my cock. She had one hand on him, pumping him violently as her other hand massaged my balls. I moaned again and almost lost my control then, but Hisagi pulled Rangiku off my cock with an audible pop.

"So, Izuru, are you going to stop us?" Hisagi asked, running his hands idly into Matsumoto's hair.

"We'll stop if you really want us to," Rangiku continued, wrapping her fingers around my member again, "just say the word."

With that she started stroking me with her hand, turning her mouth to Hisagi. She ran her tongue up and down his shaft before turning her attention to his piercing on the underside of his cock near the tip. She flicked at it experimentally with her tongue, making him groan loudly. It was one of the most erotic sounds I've ever heard.

"That feels incredible, Ran-chan, keep doing that" he said, pushing her back onto his cock. She took his tip into her mouth while she ran her tongue back and forth over the curved barbell. Hisagi hissed at the sensation. He moved his hand up to my nipples, pinching and tweaking each peak. I groaned and closed my eyes. The rational part of my mind--the part that was shrinking rapidly--tried a last ditch effort to take over.

"Hisagi-san... Rangiku-san... please...sto"

Soft lips closed over mine, Matsumoto's this time. I could taste her flavor--sake and berries--mixed with Hisagi's. Her kiss was gentle and teasing, unlike Hisagi's more forceful, passionate one. Her soft breasts were pressed against me, and I could feel her hard nipples drilling into my chest through the thin lace that held them back. My sense of propriety said "screw it," threw its hat down, and walked away in disgust. The rest of my brain waved goodbye and good riddance.

I started responding in earnest to Rangiku's kiss, battling her tongue for dominance. She let me win, and I slipped my tongue into her mouth, stroking hers. She moaned loudly and pulled away, gasping. I was puzzled at her actions, but when I looked down, I understood. Hisagi had an arm around her and was stroking her through her panties, making her knees buckle in pleasure.

"You're so wet Rangiku," Hisagi said, dipping his hand inside her panties to touch her heated flesh. She moaned, leaning back against his chest.

"It's because..." she panted, "I've got two of the sexiest men in Seireitei naked and hard in my office."

"I...I'm not sexy," I protested. Sexy? Me? I could understand Hisagi, but heck, many, many men were sexier than I was. Even the 4th squad's 8th seat--Ogido what's his face--was sexier than I am. Hisagi snorted.

"Are you kidding? I've wanted to fuck you silly ever since that day you, Renji, and Hinamori came to help me during that academy training mission gone wrong."

"Mhmmm...Kira-kun, you're just so adorable!" Matsumoto added. I flushed again. "See, way too cute," she said, breaking away from Hisagi and pushing me onto the couch.

She straddled me, grabbing my hands and putting them on her breasts. I ran my thumbs over her nipples, earning an approving moan. Hisagi stood behind her and unhooked her bra to free her bountiful breasts. I let the lace fall and brought my mouth to her nipples, swirling my tongue around one, then the other. She whimpered and brought my head closer. I pressed her tits together, pushing the nipples close to each other, and I sucked on both of them at the same time. Meanwhile, Hisagi pulled down her panties and buried his head in her wetness.

"Oh, yes, Shuuhei, Kira, fuck, yes!!" Rangiku screamed. Hisagi and I instantly brought our hands to her mouth to muffle any further screams.

"Shhh, Ran, we don't want the rest of your squad to hear, right?" Hisagi asked. She nodded. "Ok how 'bout you give Izuru a tit fuck?"

She nodded again, sliding down me to kneel between my legs. Hisagi and I took our hands off her mouth. She bent over and wrapped her breasts around my member. I groaned loudly, earning a stern shush from Hisagi. I couldn't help it though; Rangiku's boobs just felt amazing. I moaned again as she bounced her tits around my cock, licking the tip every time it poked through from between her breasts.

Hisagi, in the meantime, had knelt behind Rangiku again and was now lapping hungrily at her pussy. I could feel her breath coming in short bursts against the head of my cock. She sped up her movements as her arousal grew.

"Please...Shuuhei, fuck me," she pleaded. Hisagi grinned wickedly at me, and I nodded, understanding that he wanted me to muffle her screams somehow. He positioned himself and slammed into her from behind while I slid my cock out from between her breasts and into her mouth at the same time. She dug her nails into my thighs, and I could feel her wailing in pleasure around my cock. The vibrations nearly sent me over the edge, but Rangiku grabbed the base of my cock hard, and the urge to cum passed. She pulled off me, panting.

"Shuu-kun, it feels amazing, pound into me!"

He obliged, grabbing her hips and thrusting into her violently. His movements made Rangiku's breasts and mouth rock back and forth over my cock again. The sight of Hisagi plowing into her coupled with the feel of her soft tits and warm mouth squeezing me finally sent me over the edge. I gasped and came all over Rangiku's face and breasts. The other two weren't far behind; just a couple more thrusts and they came together, Rangiku burying her face in my thigh to muffle her screams of completion and Hisagi arching his back and letting out a guttural groan as he spurted in her.

I just lay back on the couch for a couple of minutes with my eyes closed, breathing heavily. Gods that was amazing. I had just shot my cum all over the most splendid pair of tits in all of Seireitei. In the office she shared with Hitsugaya-taicho, no less. Taicho. Oh shit.

I panicked a little, sitting up and surveying the room. Ok, no Hitsugaya-taicho yet. Phew. Hisagi was napping sprawled on the floor next to the couch, while Rangiku was sitting on the floor, leaning back against her couch, my cum still all over her. Both of them looked utterly contented, so I relaxed as well.

Rangiku stirred and licked her lips. Some of my seed got onto her tongue, and she tasted it. She hummed in approval, and flicked out her tongue again to catch more of my sperm. She shook Hisagi awake.

"Ne, Shuu-kun, hey, hey--try this, Kira-kun tastes good!" she exclaimed, offering a cum splattered breast to Hisagi. He blinked sleepily, licking at it.

"Hey, you're right--he tastes sweet," he said. He sat up and licked my cum off Rangiku's breasts, neck, and face, making her giggle and moan, and then they kissed each other deeply. The sight had me up again instantly. It was too soon though, and I groaned at the pleasure-pain my erection was giving me.

"Mmm, looks like Kira's already up for round two," Rangiku teased.

"That's my kohai!" Hisagi said proudly, as he sat next to me, pulling me into a kiss. He pulled me onto his lap and I could feel his hard member rubbing against mine. Rangiku sat next to us and started kissing and nipping at my neck and spine. Oh my god, they were planning on killing me with sex, weren't they?

Hisagi ran his hands down my sides and cupped my bottom, massaging and caressing. He poked at my tight hole and I moaned at the sensation. I wanted him in me. I moved against his hands, trying to signal my willingness, and he slipped one finger in me.

"Izuru, have you done this before?" He asked. I nodded.

"I've done it before with Ichimaru-tai-" oh shit. Rangiku. I paled. I heard someone gasp in surprise, and I looked worriedly at her, but she didn't look shocked or angry, just a little sad and wistful. Hisagi looked way more surprised, honestly, and I guess he was the one who gasped. I tried to apologize, but she just kissed me gently to stop my words.

"I knew about you and Gin since it started," she said as she pulled away, "but I wasn't jealous, not really. I was angry that he was lying to me, and that he didn't know me well enough to figure that I would've welcomed you into our bed, but I never blamed you, Kira." I sighed in relief. I kissed her, putting all my feelings of repentance and gratitude in it. Rangiku really was the sweetest thing--she's forgiven me for a lot of things already.

"Less talk, more fuck!" Hisagi exclaimed, thrusting his cock up at mine again. "I figure we have another 30-45mins until the taichos get out of their meeting, so we have to make the most out of it." Ah, good old Hisagi-sempai, always keeping us in line. "Oi, Ran, do you have lotion or something in here?"

Rangiku giggled and stood up to rifle through some drawers. She took out a bottle and tossed it at Hisagi. My eyes widened at the label.

"Lube? You keep lube in your office?" I asked. She shrugged like it was the most normal thing in the world to have a bottle of lube in your desk drawer. Well, whatever. She had a whole stash of sake and snacks behind the bookcase, so I should've expected the lube. That's Rangiku for you.

Hisagi slicked two fingers up and rubbed them into my hole, stretching it to ready me for his cock. I kissed him roughly, running my fingers over him as I rode his fingers. Hisagi found my sensitive spot, and I moaned into his mouth, seeing flashes behind my eyes in pleasure. He took his fingers out and rubbed his cock at my entrance.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded. He thrust into me slowly, waiting for me to stretch around his width. He was so huge and his piercing rubbed against my insides in an odd, but not unpleasant way. I whimpered at the sensation. He stroked my hair and whispered reassuringly in my ear.

"Just relax, Izuru, and you'll have the best fuck of your life, I promise." My anus twitched at his words, squeezing him and making him groan. He started moving deeper in me and buried my head in the crook of his shoulder to keep from moaning too loudly. He was right--once I got used to it, the piercing was fucking awesome, adding extra stimulation. I bounced on his cock, trying to make him go faster. I closed my eyes, seeing flashes of pleasure behind them again.

"Hey! You guys, don't leave me out!" Rangiku whined, tapping us on our shoulders. Hisagi stopped thrusting up at me and thought for a second. He pulled me off him, making me growl in annoyance.

"Patience, patience, Izuru..." He whispered something to Rangiku, and she grinned seductively at me.

"Come play with me, Kira-kun," she whispered, as she lay down on the couch and pulled me on top of her. I brought my hands to her breasts, kneading and pinching as she squirmed under me. She arched into me as I traced her ear with my tongue, and I could feel her hot, wet pussy press up against me. Damn. I wanted to be in her so badly, but I also wanted Hisagi in me...

The choice was taken out of my hands as Rangiku grabbed my cock and guided me into her. She was so slick and I just slid into her, burying my cock in her to the hilt and moaning at how good it felt. I started thrusting into her, but she wrapped her arms and legs around me, stopping me.

"Shuuhei, now," she said. I felt Hisagi line his cock up at my entrance and thrust into it. My scream got caught in my throat, coming out as a choked cry of pleasure.

"Gods, so tight!" He ground out, and started moving. Rangiku started writhing under me too, and I just lay between them, helpless against the tide of pleasure they were giving me. With Rangiku's hot pussy surrounding me, and Hisagi's cock pounding into my ass and hitting my prostate with the piercing, I knew I wouldn't last very long. I just grit my teeth and tried to hold on for as long as I could.

Surprisingly, it was Rangiku who came first, biting my left shoulder to keep from screaming as she went wild under me. The sensations of her pussy squeezing the life out of me made me lose control, and I came into her and clamped my ass down on Hisagi. He bit down on my other shoulder as I felt him shudder and spurt into me as well. I blacked out from the intense orgasm that just ripped through me.

*****

I don't know how long I was out, but the next thing I remember was Rangiku pushing at me and Shuuhei, telling us to get off her because we were too heavy. Hisagi then joked that her boobs probably weighed more than the two of us combined, and she started wailing about that being true, and about how her boobs were trying to smother her in her sleep. So weird. Anyway, we got off her and started to clean up, but then we all jumped at the sound of the door sliding open. Hitsugaya-taicho stood there, flabbergasted.

"I... I didn't see this!" he stammered, as he slammed the door closed again. I paled and dressed quickly, and I could see Hisagi do the same.

"Oh no, Hitsugaya-taicho...we've just ruined his innocence, haven't we?" Hisagi asked. Matsumoto just sat there, still half-undressed, laughing her ass off. When I asked her what was funny, she said,

"Well, to tell you the truth, the lube wasn't mine. I caught Toushiro and Uki-"

I clamped my hands over my ears, saying "lalalalalala" over and over again. I did NOT want to hear this. Hisagi, on the other hand, was listening intently and looked altogether way too amused.

"Really now... Well then, no need to worry about Hitsugaya-taicho ratting us out. This was fun, call us anytime the SWA needs a favor! Bye!" Hisagi dragged me out through the window and flash stepped away.

"Drinking night again on Friday!" Rangiku called out after us.

Shit. Not again.