The Sweetest Downfall

a/n: Okay, so this story has a history. It started with a doujinshi that I read that shares some similarities with this fic, only there was no Gin/Renji in that doujinshi. I added that element because I wanted to see it, the pervert I am. Plus, this is far, far more elaborate.

Enjoy!

Title: The Sweetest Downfall
Pairings: Kira/Renji/Kira, Gin/Kira, Gin/Renji, other possible side pairings
Rating: M
Warning: Homosexuality, dubcon, language, lots of spoilers
Description: Renji's always wanted to be a hero, but this time, he might have bitten off more than he can chew.

The Sweetest Downfall
Part One – Lies, the Truth

Ikkaku-san wasn't going easy on Renji.

Inquiring fingers found clots of blood on his scalp and clods of dirt entangled in his hair, souvenirs from their sparring match. Bruises were sure to follow. But if tomorrow's aches and pains were what it took to get stronger, he was willing to pay the price.

“Yo, Abarai-san!”

“Hey, Abarai-san!”

Renji grinned and raised a hand. It was nice to be noticed, to be appreciated for the strength he did have, even if it wasn't enough yet. Surpassing Kuchiki Byakuya still seemed like a distant goal.

His height, his hair, his tattoos, many people had come to recognize him for his distinct appearance. Or at least, he assumed so. He wasn't high enough in the eleventh division to be noted for that; he was only the sixth seat.

He shifted the position of the bucket of supplies on his arm, hearing the bottles and soaps clink together. His scalp itched and Renji dug a finger into the base of his ponytail, failing to notice the shower of soil that followed his action.

“Evening, Abarai-san.”

Another familiar face. Renji glanced over his shoulder and lifted a hand in greeting, attention diverted.

Rounding a corner, he slammed into someone else. Renji caught a flash of blond hair as he quickly juggled his stuff, struggling not to drop it everywhere as the other person practically bounced off him. “Ah. Sorry, Kira.”

The other Shinigami smiled gently at him, the smile as always not reaching his eyes. “No problem,” Kira replied, and looked him over appraisingly, lifting one brow. “Long day?”

Kira's pale fingers pulled up his disordered shitagi, but not before Renji caught a glimpse of reddened marks in his flesh. Love bites? He hadn't even known that Kira had a girlfriend, much less one who would give him such obvious marks.

“Yeah.” Renji's answer was absentminded, however.

“Ikkaku-san was helpin' me train again,” Renji added, flushing when he realized he had been staring for what was probably longer than polite.

Kira, for his part, didn't seem to notice. “Any closer to bankai?” He shifted his basket to a different hip; he must have just come from the baths.

Renji shrugged, somehow bothered by those obvious marks. They looked fresh, which sparked Renji's curiosity. “Mebbe. It's harder than I thought it would be,” he replied offhandedly before glancing at his friend with a sly look. “But it seems like you got lucky?”

Scarlet spread across Kira's cheeks, which Renji found cute even as the shorter man attempted to feign ignorance. “I-- I don't know what you mean.”

Rolling his eyes, Renji reached out with a free hand and poked Kira's collarbone, where his shihakushou covered the burgeoning mark. “These, baka. Ya gonna tell me who she is or do I haveta find out on my own?”

“There's nothing to tell,” Kira repeated, with more force this time, though the furious flush on his face seemed to say otherwise.

Grinning, Renji was suddenly struck with a spot of inspiration. Not the sharpest tool in the shed according to his friends, he did have them, occasionally. “It's not Hinamori, is it?”

“Abarai-kun!” Kira seemed aghast, and Renji had to fight back the urge to laugh. “It's really nothing. You shouldn't pry!”

“Come on. You don't get those on yer own.”

Shaking his head, Kira edged around him, looking very much like a bright-eyed rabbit trying to escape the big, bad wolf. “I have to get going, Abarai-kun. Really.”

Lifting a brow, Renji didn't believe him for a second. But he let the blond slide, at least for now. Clearly he'd embarrassed Kira. Though he couldn't think why. It wasn't anything to be ashamed of. Everyone had urges. It wasn't like they were all celibate or anything. Then again, Kira was from one of those upright and proper families, minor nobility, in fact.

Rubbing the back of his head, Renji decided to let Kira go for now. “Che. Fine. Just don't forget we're drinking with Hisagi-senpai and Ikkaku-san on Thursday.”

If he wasn't looking for it, he wouldn't have seen it. There was a barely perceptible wince before Kira inclined his head. “I won't. Enjoy your bath.” And with that, Kira continued down the hallway, greeting a few of the younger ones as he passed. To them, too, he gave a small smile.

In his wake, Renji blinked in faint confusion. Kira was acting pretty weird. Then again, the blond had always been a little strange. Nothing new there.

Renji hefted his basket and continued towards the baths. His hair needed to be scrubbed, and the longer he let the mess stay in, the harder it would get to work out. He didn't need anyone teasing him about being vain again. Jealous bastards.

By paying attention, Renji managed to successfully evade the next person coming down the hall, though he was surprised as hell to see him. “Ichimaru-taichou!” he exclaimed in shock.

“Yo!” The silver-haired captain lifted a hand in greeting, lips stretched in his usual, eerie grin. “Nice ta see ya agin, Abarai-kun.” Self-satisfaction poured from Ichimaru in waves.

Didn't the captains all have private quarters, with their own baths? What was he doing here in the central bathing rooms?

“Er, yeah, same to you,” Renji replied, unconsciously backpedaling a pace. Ichimaru's reiatsu slithered through the corridor, dousing Renji in a discomfiting surge of power.

That was the extent of the conversation, though, as Ichimaru-taichou continued down the corridor, paying no mind to the odd looks he garnered from the lower seats; but then, unusually for any captain, he was not wearing his haori of rank. He had always been an odd character, never one to follow tradition. Renji just didn't understand that guy.

Sighing under his breath, Renji resolved not to think about it. He had better things to do.

~

Whistling, Renji shoved his hands in his pockets and casually strolled through the third division, feeling out of place. There was something about the third that was a bit dreary. The windows were open, letting in lots of light, but it still seemed enclosed and stuffy. As if shadows gathered in every corner.

His footsteps echoed loudly, too. The very place screamed of silence, and he felt like he stood out immensely. The lower seats he passed were less than friendly, barely acknowledging his presence. Renji frowned.

There was a reason he seldom came here, but he had said he would come pick up Kira. Sometimes the blond worked too long and forgot about prior engagements. Renji wasn't letting him wriggle out of this as he had the past Thursday, with some bullshit excuse about his captain and too much paperwork.

Renji tried to shake off the eerie feeling that the third division gave him and continued down the hall. Unlike the eleventh division, the third had their captain's and vice-captain's rooms at the end of a long hall, isolated from the others. Renji thought that was kind of odd, but far be it from him to question Ichimaru-taichou.

Though he was a bit early, Renji drew to a halt near the closed door of the office. He lifted his hand to knock, but he heard something odd, like a gasp, or a moan. Blinking in confusion, Renji dropped his hand from the door, and he held his breath, trying to catch the noise again.

There was a rustle, like fabric, and the sound of something hitting the ground, a low thump. And yeah, that was definitely a low moan, throaty and erotic. Despite himself, Renji found it enticing. His ears burned, but he couldn't stop listening, curiosity overriding his sense of propriety. If he'd ever had one.

The door was open just a slit, enough for him to peek inside. And it took all his effort not to gasp, biting down on his hand to keep his noises to himself.

“Ichimaru-taichou, I've got to--”

“Not yet, Izuru-chan,” Ichimaru purred, and he shifted in some sort of sudden motion that made Kira cry out loudly, tone filled with pleasure. The sound made something shiver down Renji's spine.

He'd never had any interest in men before.

They were... they were having sex.

He couldn't see much, but he could tell that Kira's back was to the door, and that he was sitting in his captain's lap. His shitagi had fallen down, bunching around his waist, leaving his pale skin bare to the cool air. His pale, unmarked skin, soft and smooth, like a girl's.

And as he watched, Ichimaru ran his long-fingered hands over it.

Ichimaru licked Kira's throat as Kira threw his head back, giving Renji a glimpse of the red flush that stained his cheeks. Kira looked... really sexy like that, his body painted in a light sheen of sweat, those soft, encouraging moans coming from his lips. His fingers were clenched tightly on his captain's still-clad shoulders, kneading in and out as his captain thrust into him.

Renji was no stranger to homosexual intercourse. He hadn't experienced it himself, but he knew how it worked. And he knew that it happened. Shinigami lived for a long time, after all. At some point in a long afterlife filled with danger, it stopped mattering what gender your partner was, and all that counted was whether you were compatible.

Still, he hadn't known about Kira. Or Ichimaru-taichou for that matter. That they were together was enough to make his mind stutter.

The reason for the marks on Kira's skin suddenly made a hell of a lot of sense, as did his fatigue and the occasional haunted look in his eyes.

Renji was pretty sure this sort of relationship between captain and vice-captain was against the rules. Even amongst lower seats it was frowned upon, especially from the same division. The captain-commander would definitely not approve. Renji couldn't tell anyone; not without placing Kira's position in danger.

Was it even consensual?

“T-taichou,” Kira gasped, his body shaking in Ichimaru's grasp.

The captain murmured something incoherent, his lips sliding from Kira's throat to capture his lips.

Renji found his feet scurrying away in escape, though there was no need for one. His physical arousal was a perfectly normal reaction, he told himself. It only happened because Kira'd looked really sexy like that, and he himself had been celibate a while, so it was a perfectly normal reaction. A perfectly normal reaction.

Wasn't it?

He worried though, even as he went quickly back down the hall, determined to wait for Kira somewhere else. He knew how intimidating Ichimaru-taichou could be, and that Kira was all too easily swayed. What if the blond was only being played with? And those marks ... what if it was just painful for him? Ichimaru wasn't exactly the most well-liked of the captains. And he was really fucking weird. Certainly Rukia had never liked him, and she was a damn good judge of character.

He leaned against the wall, almost unaware of members of the third division passing by, immersed in his thoughts. Agitated, Renji tugged at his ponytail, a distinctly nervous habit.

“Abarai-kun.”

Renji nearly jumped three feet in the air when the voice suddenly broke into his reverie. He turned to see Kira approaching, all smiles, a little out of breath. He was dressed again, but he looked tired. And definitely worked over. In fact, one hand carefully reordered his hair.

“There ya are,” Renji returned, attempting something like normalcy, even though he could hear the sound of Kira's gasps in the back of his head. “I've been waitin' forever.”

“Sorry.” Kira came to a halt beside Renji, bowing his head faintly. “I had some last-minute paperwork to finish up.”

Paperwork. Was that what they were calling it these days? Oh, Renji had seen papers, scattered all over the floor. As well as a tipped inkwell. But if they were doing paperwork, then he was going to cut his hair and join the Kidoushuu.

“S'okay,” he said dismissively, not wanting to hint at what he had seen. Still, he scanned Kira, looking for any evidence of their “paperwork”. “Ichimaru-taichou ... he's a harsh captain, isn't he?”

Kira frowned as they started walking, heading out of the division and towards that part of Rukongai where all the best, for which read “worst,” bars were located. “Not any more than the others. Why?”

Renji shrugged offhandedly, though subtlety was definitely not his strong point. “Ya always look so tired, s'all. I was just wonderin'.”

To his surprise, Kira flushed red. “Do I? I hadn't noticed.”

“Just a bit.” Renji glanced again, swearing he could see a red mark half-hidden by the collar of Kira's shihakushou. “Does he help ya train?”

“Sometimes. Why all the questions, Abarai-kun?” Those blue eyes were watching him suspiciously now; Renji had never been so curious before.

He stuttered a bit, searching for a good reason. “Can't a guy be concerned for his friend?” he demanded a bit defensively. “You didn't used to get bruised so easy, ya know?”

“That's because everyone took it easy on me,” Kira retorted, bristling. “But Ichimaru-taichou doesn't, and I'm glad he doesn't.”

Yeah, Renji could pretty clearly see that. Ichimaru-taichou wasn't exactly a kind and gentle person. But, Renji reminded himself, he didn't know the whole picture. He doubted he could get Kira to spill the details, and the blond had made it clear that he couldn't ask.

“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands, trying to calm Kira before he got defensive and angry. “I'm sorry. Didn't mean ta offend.”

He watched as Kira smiled, offense forgotten. Renji, who had quite the temper of his own, always wondered how the blond could do that. Kira easily forgave everyone, and he was the last person Renji would ever suspect of holding a grudge.

“It's okay. Everyone's always suspicious of taichou. I often find myself defending him. They don't know him as I do,” Kira responded.

I should fucking well hope, Renji thought.

Ichimaru creeped everyone out. The way he smiled, the way he mocked people in that you'd-think-it-was-cheerful tone of his. And he had a way of looking at you that left an eerie chill in your spine. No, Renji himself wasn't too fond of Ichimaru-taichou.

He kept these thoughts unvoiced, however. He might not have had the same upbringing as the nobles, but he knew enough not to hurt Kira's feelings. Kira was proud of his new position, proud of being the vice-captain. And he'd worked hard to get that far. Renji wasn't going to mock his effort.

“Like I said, I don't want to offend ya over yer new taichou,” Renji continued, slipping a finger under the edge of his bandanna and shifting it around in lieu of tugging on his ponytail. “How about that drink, ne?”

“Sounds good.”

And that was the end of that conversation, but Renji was not quite convinced. Because when Kira turned away from him, moving ahead, he caught sight of something behind the blond's collar and a strand of his hair. There were marks, teeth marks to be more precise, not quite bleeding but pretty damn close. Reddened, harsh, and very obvious were it not for the concealment of his shihakushou. With Kira's skills from the fourth, he could have healed it easily.

Renji wondered if Ichimaru wouldn't let him. And he realized, in that moment, that he couldn't let what he had seen lie.

~

Renji agonized over his predicament for several days, so much so that it distracted him from his usual training.

And at night, he dreamed of things he wasn't supposed to have seen.

It became tiresome to change his sheets.

Renji had difficulty looking his best friend in the eyes. All he could think about was the sound of Kira's voice, crying out his captain's name, and those reddened marks.

Renji knew that he had to ask someone for advice.

Unfortunately, most of his friends were idiots. And while he could go to Ayasegawa-san, he wasn't going to. The fifth seat was the ringleader of a rumor mill, and then there was the amount of teasing Renji would have to suffer. He would have liked to talk to Rukia, but that just wasn't possible. Not anymore. Which left him few other options.

That was why he found himself heading towards the fifth division and the office of his former captain. If there was one person in the Gotei-13 he was certain he could count on, it was Aizen-taichou. The man was dependable, capable, not given to gossiping, very well-respected within the Gotei-13; he would never forget how Aizen had chosen Renji fresh from the Academy to join his division.

He would be able to offer Renji some advice

Unlike the third, the fifth division was busy. Everywhere he looked, lower seats were practicing one form or another. Or Shinigami were moving here and there, carrying what were probably important documents. There was a low buzz of continuous conversation, and he was politely greeted. A few he recognized as kouhai from the Academy. Had it really been that long?

Drawing to a halt before the main office, he found the door wide open, as though offering invitation to step inside. It was just as it had been when he was only a lower seat in the fifth. Rapping his knuckles on the door to announce his presence, Renji stepped inside, Hinamori looking up from her paperwork as he did so.

“Yo, Hinamori-fukutaichou,” he called out, lifting a hand in greeting.

“Hello, Renji-kun,” she replied, smiling pleasantly. “Did Zaraki-taichou send you?”

He shook his head, casually glancing around the office and noting just how neat and ordered everything was. Practically spotless and gleaming. “No. He'd send one of the others if he had somethin' important to say.” Not that Zaraki-taichou ever really made great efforts to contact the other captains. “Is Aizen-taichou in?”

The smile that lit Hinamori's face at just the mention of her captain was nearly blinding. “Yes.”

Both of his friends were pretty fucking weird, though Renji highly doubted Aizen had any sort of sexual relationship going on with Hinamori. That would be like... a father and his daughter or something. Gross.

“Is he busy?”

As if on cue, the door to the captain's office slid open in that moment, and Aizen-taichou appeared in the aperture. “Hinamori-kun is-- oh, Abarai-kun, how are you today?” Aizen smiled at him, surprised by his appearance, but not visibly upset. A part of Renji felt calmed by seeing him.

“Just fine, thank you, taichou.”

Hinamori was already looking up at her captain expectantly, rising to her feet and abandoning her paperwork. “Did you need something, Aizen-taichou?”

Behind his glasses, Aizen shifted his attention back to his vice-captain, reminded of the reason he had emerged from his office in the first place. “Oh, right. Here are the reports on yesterday's incident. Could you please send them to the first at once?”

Incident? Renji lifted a brow. Not that it was his place to ask. He had thought he heard something about the fifth being sent to deal with some unusual Hollows. Perhaps that was what they were talking about.

“Sure.” Hinamori beamed, taking the envelope that her captain handed her and tucking it under one arm. “See you later, Renji-kun.” And with a wave, the bubbly vice-captain was out the door, never one to argue against any task set before her.

The two men watched her go, and then Aizen shifted his attentions to Renji, a welcoming smile on his lips. “Did you want to speak to me?”

“Yes, sir. If yer not too busy.”

“I certainly have time to chat. Come into the office.” He gestured Renji to follow him, leaving the door open as he stepped back into his office. “How is the eleventh treating you?”

“I fit in well, sir,” Renji replied, coming in after him and sliding the door shut behind them quietly. “Though I'll always thinka' myself as bein' in th' fifth.”

Aizen chuckled lightly, moving to sit behind his desk, overflowing with documents and papers, most of which looked important. “Now, Abarai-kun, you know that you don't have to impress me anymore. The effort was all your own.”

“Thank you, sir.” Despite himself, Renji felt a little embarrassed and ducked his head, certain that his cheeks were probably heated. Praise from Aizen-taichou was something he valued highly.

Organizing a few papers on his desk, Aizen settled comfortably and looked up at him expectantly. “But I'm sure that's not why you came today. What can I help you with?”

Renji shifted awkwardly, knowing what he wanted to ask, but unsure how to voice it. “I sorta needed some advice.”

“Oh?”

He nodded, uneasily rubbing the back of his head. “Yeah. It's about a friend of mine.”

“The new addition to the Kuchiki clan?” Aizen posed, frowning slightly as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I believe her name is Rukia. She's a friend of yours, yes?”

“Well, yeah, but no. She's not the one I meant. It's another friend. And I probably shouldn't give his name since it's...” He racked his mind for an appropriate term, but eloquence had never been his forte. “... delicate,” Renji finished, unable to come up with anything better.

“Ah, I understand.” Aizen folded his hands on top of his desk, watching Renji from behind the barrier those heavy, reflective glasses put between him and the rest of the world. “I'll see what I can do to help.”

“Thank you, sir.” Renji found himself looking at the floor, twitching in his unease. “I'm worried about my friend, and don't know how to talk to him about it. Every time I try to ask, he brushes me off.”

Aizen inclined his head, listening intently. “What exactly causes you to worry?”

Renji hesitated, cringing inwardly. Should he go into detail? “There are marks,” he explained, remembering well the sight of them. “And he seems tired all the time.”

“This friend of yours... he is a Shinigami, yes?” And when Renji nodded, Aizen continued,. “Perhaps it's is merely due to training then?”

Renji could feel his face heating, even though he shouldn't be this embarrassed. “It's... uh... it doesn't seem to be that sort of mark. If ya know what I'm saying.”

The captain considered this for several long moments before understanding dawned. “Ah, I see. That is quite delicate.” He rubbed fingers over his chin. “Am I to understand this friend of yours has a lover?”

The blush on his face must have been obvious since Renji could feel it burning at his skin, likely clashing with his hair. In the back of his mind, he could hear them, see them again as he had in his dreams, Kira crying out and Ichimaru pushing into him, Ichimaru's mouth on Kira's throat, Kira wanting more...

He loudly cleared his throat, trying to escape the images before they could affect him the way they had the past few nights. “Yes, sir.”

“Do you suspect abuse?”

“Eh...” Renji rubbed the back of his head, considering the question. “Maybe. I dunno.” He hated that he sounded so uncertain.

“Have you any proof?”

Renji winced. “Not exactly. But I have seen them... together.” He realized he wasn't making a very good case. His half-assed information and tiptoeing around wasn't making things any clearer for Aizen-taichou. He didn't know how he expected the captain to help him when he couldn't even verbalize the issue.

“Hmmm.” Aizen lowered his gaze, one hand drumming fingertips on his desktop. The massive stacks of paperwork seemed even more intimidating in that moment, and Renji felt guilty for interrupting the captain when he was clearly busy.

He started to doubt himself, in that moment. Maybe there wasn't anything to worry about. Maybe he was just overthinking things for once. Those marks could have been caused by regular sparring and such. Kira was a vice-captain after all. He often took part in training new recruits to the division.

It was entirely possible that Renji was only seeing what he wanted to see. That his subtle dislike for Ichimaru caused him to search for some reason to turn the captain into a villain. Honestly, it wasn't like he had much evidence to speak of. He was probably overreacting...

“Perhaps you should try speaking to the other party,” Aizen suggested, cutting into Renji's stuttered thinking and causing him to blink. “Determine for yourself what type of person they are.”

Renji lifted his shoulders, chewing on his bottom lip. “I dunno. I guess that could work.” Renji's forehead crinkled, wrinkling the dark lines of his tattoo. “But wouldn't that be suspicious?”

Aizen balanced his elbows on his desk, leaning forward in his chair. “It depends on how you go about it,” he began, interlacing his fingers.

A sudden knock on the door interrupted him further, Hinamori's voice hesitantly coming through the wood. “Aizen-taichou? I have some papers that Yamamoto-soutaichou needs you to look over. They're Priority First-Class.”

Aizen sighed, smiling warmly at Renji. “Duty calls, it seems, Abarai-kun. I hope I was of some assistance to you.”

“You were.” Renji was bit embarrassed that he had disturbed Aizen for something he was attempting to convince himself was trivial. “Thanks Aizen-taichou.” He bowed.

The captain rose to his feet, neatly catching a stack of documents which sought to topple over. “You're very welcome. Please, do not hesitate to seek out my advice again.”

Warmed by the offer, Renji obediently bowed once more and turned towards the door. As he slid it open, Hinamori slipped past him with a swift greeting. Her eyes were for her captain alone, a happy flush in her cheeks.

He thought, in that moment, that while Hinamori's reactions were a little more reserved, they were far more natural than the strange feeling he got around Kira and Ichimaru. And though he warred with himself as to whether he was wrong or right, that thought wouldn't leave him. Something about their interaction didn't sit well with Renji, and he'd always trusted his instincts before. They'd served him well in Rukongai. It stood to reason they would do the same here.

~

Leaving the fifth division main office, Renji's thoughts were no more settled than before. Aizen-taichou had clarified some things, but left him just as confused in others. He was certain there was a problem.

Should he speak to Ichimaru-taichou as Aizen-taichou had suggested? Well, Ichimaru was the root of the problem, though Renji really was a rank too low to have any business speaking to a captain like that. And he wasn't exactly known for being a big fan of Ichimaru's. It would seem presumptuous.

The turmoil made his gut churn unpleasantly. Renji uttered a low curse, startling a passing Shinigami. The unseated officer gave him a strange look, but Renji couldn't be bothered by an apology.

Maybe what he needed was time. Time to figure things out, time to gather a bit more evidence. Time to find proof that there was something rotten going on before he went after Ichimaru. Otherwise, he'd find himself in way over his head.

With that in mind, Renji's resolve firmed and settled. He'd give it a little time. A week, maybe two. And he'd investigate. He wouldn't let Ichimaru get away with it. Or, with luck, it would all just be a figment of his imagination.

He only wished that he were more optimistic.

~

Renji hissed as he burned his mouth biting into the taiyaki, his tongue protesting the hot grease. He nearly dropped the food as the wrapper slipped from his fingers, and he frantically tried to chew and swallow the sizzling filling.

Beside him, Kira chuckled and shook his head, having much better success eating his own lunch. “Are you that hungry?”

Mouth burning, Renji could only shake his head and wipe the back of his hand across his lips, trying not to drool everywhere. “I didn't expect it to be so damn hot,” he mumbled around a burning tongue, even as he managed to swallow the huge bite he had taken. Sizzling or not, it was still damn good. That vendor made the best taiyaki in all of Rukongai, he was sure of it.

“You're just impatient,” Kira returned teasingly, smirking a bit as Renji bit into the taiyaku again, despite it being no cooler than before.

Renji shrugged, dropping bits of fried dough onto his shihakushou. “I ain't got a lot of time to eat. 'Specially in the eleventh. Like a pack of wild dogs when it comes ta food in there.”

“I can imagine.” Kira smiled a bit, and picked some more at his food, the plain bento looking far less appetizing to Renji than his own street-bought lunch. It looked more healthy than anything. Who wanted to eat that?

Renji watched Kira from the corner of his eyes, his friend poking with some interest at his food, but not much at all. “The third's probably more dignified, huh?”

“Something like that.” Kira shrugged, and for the first time that day, Renji realized just how tired his friend looked.

Dark circles ringed his bright blue eyes, those eyes that had sparkled with a certain vitality that Renji remembered from the Academy. That had gone, now. His skin seemed even paler in the afternoon sunlight, and Renji caught himself leaning just a bit, trying to peer into the gaps of Kira's shihakushou. He was searching for marks, he realized. For proof of his suspicion.

“So has the third been busy or somethin'?” Renji asked, shooting for nonchalant and failing miserably, subtlety not being among his strengths. “I mean, we hardly ever see ya anymore, ya know?”

Kira poked one last time at his lunch before rewrapping the fabric around the box and tucking it against his side. “We're about as busy as everyone else,” he replied, tilting his head back and looking up at the sky, to watch a cloud float lazily by. “Maybe it just seems that way.”

“Yo! Abarai-san!” One of the passing Shinigami, from the fifth division Renji thought, greeted him with a wave.

Renji tossed the guy a half-hearted salutation, unable to really remember the other Shinigami's name. He hadn't spent that long in the fifth, after all; they'd quickly figured he was better suited to the eleventh, and transferred him out.

Even as they passed the guy, another group of Shinigami waved as well, before returning to their discussion and laughter. Renji barely noticed, too interested in the mess he was making of his own lunch. The filling kept trying to leak onto his fingers.

“You're always so popular, Abarai-kun,” Kira commented suddenly, a small smile on his lips. “Everyone admires you.”

Renji blinked, in the midst of wiping a glob of paste from the corner of his mouth. “Really?” He glanced around, nothing really striking him as out of the ordinary, just a group of the guys from the eleventh waving at him. “I never noticed.”

“No, I don't suppose you would.” It was said in a whisper, almost as if Kira hadn't meant for him to hear. And when Renji looked, the vice-captain was gazing somewhere else, off into the distance. One hand had clasped onto his own arm tightly, as though trying to keep himself from saying anything else.

Renji frowned, wondering how to reply. Whether to reply. Kira was acting pretty strange today. Other than the fact that he looked really tired and worn out. And really, when was the last time he'd gotten an honest smile out of his friend?

Popping the last bit of his taiyaki into his mouth, Renji dropped his hands to his hakama and wiped off the last bits of grease sticking to his fingers. He swiped the back of his hand across his mouth, his belly warmed from the food.

Glancing around, he looked for a clock and groaned when he realized he'd have to return to the eleventh soon. Lunch time was nearly over.

As he swept his eyes through the Shinigami wandering through the main complex, he caught the flutter of a white scarf from the corner of his eye. He followed it, finding Rukia walking behind Kuchiki Byakuya, her new brother.

It felt strange to see her; they hadn't spoken since her adoption.

“Kuchiki-taichou looks annoyed today,” Kira commented from beside him. Apparently, he had noticed them as well.

Renji hadn't seen that, since his eyes had been for the captain's sister. Rukia, whom Renji had once considered a sibling to him. But it was better this way, having this distance between them, now, he thought. She couldn't have someone like him hanging around her.

Who'd want to stick with Rukongai trash when they could be nobility?

No, still calling her “friend” didn't make any sense to Renji. Still less did having Rukia call him by that title. She could eat good meals and not have to worry about money ever again. She would always have a place to sleep, a family to come home to. Was it so wrong that he wanted that something better for her?

Still... Renji looked at her again. Her eyes were cast towards the ground as she followed in Kuchiki-taichou's wake. Looking, as always, small and dainty in her shihakushou, even with her zanpakutou at her side. Rukia should be smiling, he thought, as he remembered her from their shared childhood. Smiling and scolding and playing tricks, her eyes sparkling with happiness. She should be happy now. He didn't get it.

Renji lifted a hand, slipping a finger under the edge of his headband to scratch. “Ya think she's happy?” he asked, the question slipping out before he could stop himself.

“Who? Kuchiki-san?”

“Yeah.”

Kira frowned slightly. “Ah, that's right. You guys were friends.” He shifted his gaze to Rukia, glancing over her quickly. “I don't know, Abarai-kun. You should ask her that.”

“She doesn't look happy,” Renji returned, feeling a strange tugging of guilt in his belly. “Maybe...” He trailed off, frustrated.

Maybe what she had wanted then wasn't his agreement or acceptance. Maybe she had wanted him to fight for her presence. To ask her to stay. Maybe he had been wrong. Sometimes, Renji wondered that when he thought about that last look in her eyes.

Kira paused, peering at Renji with those big, blue eyes of his own. “Maybe what?”

He lifted a hand, rubbing the back of his neck as he watched Rukia disappear from view, following along in Kuchiki-taichou's shadow. “Maybe I shouldn't have--”

“Izuru-chan!”

Ichimaru's voice broke through their conversation, causing both men to turn and see the captain coming their direction. One hand was lifted towards them as Ichimaru grinned widely, before dropping it to fold it in the sleeves of his shihakushou.

Kira blinked in surprise. “Ichimaru-taichou? Were you looking for me?”

“Of course!” Ichimaru chirped, and Renji found himself watching their interaction with suspicion. “I needed yer help fer somethin'. Think ya can give me a hand?”

Renji knew what Kira was going to say before he even said it. He nodded and looked at Renji, apology written into his expression.

“I'm sorry to cut our lunch short, Abarai-kun,” Kira said, expressing honest regret, but also all too eager to leap to Ichimaru's bidding.

It made Renji a little sick inside and he cut his eyes at the captain, who seemed too smug for his liking. He could have sworn that the bastard was smirking at him knowingly.

He shrugged in dismissal, proceeding to lie through his teeth. “It's fine,” he said, because it was obviously not fine. Ichimaru had done it on purpose, he was sure of it. “Can't 'xactly ignore yer taichou, can you?”

In lieu of answering, Kira just smiled and joined his captain, giving Renji a parting wave. “We'll catch up later, Abarai-kun.” And then he was gone, apologizing quietly to his captain for the delay, though it was hardly more than a minute.

They walked away, but not before Ichimaru glanced over his shoulder. For a moment, Renji could feel that slitted gaze mocking him, Ichimaru flicking those abnormally long fingers in Renji's direction. And then, the two – captain and subordinate – were gone to whatever Ichimaru would demand of Kira.

Unbidden, Renji thought that it must have had something to do with bruises and marks, with lusty cries, and sweat-slick skin. He shivered.

Renji thought that he could wait and see, just feel out the situation. But not anymore. He was certain that Ichimaru was doing something. That smug superiority was so damn obvious.

He couldn't let that happen to Kira. The blond deserved better than that. And the thought of standing by without saying anything galled him. He couldn't make another mistake and spend his life wondering if Kira was happy or not. Not like he'd done with Rukia

He was going to do something. He just didn't know what.

* * *

a/n: I'm anticipating... eight parts/chapters for this. So I hope you liked the first chapter. I look forward to your response!