Not Mean To Be

Hello there,

I’m back, this time with a one-shot I’ve been keeping in my laptop for some time now. Since I’ve been having some troubles with my laptop and I won’t be able to access internet for a while, I decided to post this.

English is not my mother language, so you may find some grammar and spelling mistakes. For that I apologize. But I do promise that as soon as I’m back on-line I will ask for help with the chapter.

In the mean time, try to ignore those mistakes and enjoy the story. Because the world needs more HitsuMatsu stories.


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(Not) Mean to Be

She was the first thing he saw when he woke up.

She was the first thing he felt after days, weeks, months of being unconscious.

He still remembered the dampness on his neck and cheeks when she launched herself to hug him, he remembered the relief and the faint smiled that grace her beautiful face at seeing him awake.

He realized how many things changed after the Winter War, how many things changed in the months he was unconscious recovering from his wounds (both physical and emotional). Ukitake becoming the new Soutaichou, Kyouraku and Ise’s new (but not surprising) relationship, Ichigo and Rukia behaving even more like a married couple, Orihime living with one of the former Espada. Yes, a lot of things happen in the ten months Toshiro was unconscious.

It was hard to remember or to cope with those changes, mainly because his memory went back to the moment when everything in his own life change. To the moment where his sword took the life of the woman he had loved more than life itself. The face of a dying Hinamori would haunt him for months, and the guilty, pain, depression and loneliness would become its best friend in the months following his recovering.

It seemed as if nothing could make him return to what he was once. He didn’t find the strength to scold at his fukutaichou for being late or drunk during work hours. For sleeping on the sofa locate in the office or simply for being as annoying as always. He didn’t find the strength to direct his own division or to follow the instructions mean to return Soul Society to its former order.

He was lost, broken inside and there was nothing he could (or would) do to return to normality. To forgive himself for something that wasn’t entirely his fault and to finally let go of the past and unrequited love.

He let out a broken smiled at the memory of Hyorinmaru’s words in his head. Toshiro was becoming colder than ever, his coldness wasn’t the one he was used to but rather a hurting, chilly coldness that went pass your skin directly to the marrow in the most uncomfortable and painful way. There was some kind of darkness coming from him and Hyorinmaru had felt little by little how he was being replace in his Master’s heart and mind. How he was being replaced for whatever that was making his Master felt so much misery.

Then she had arrived.

It hadn’t been easy; Toshiro hadn’t behaved in a nice way towards her. Always hurtful, using the wrong words to try and keep her away from him. But the damn woman was so insistent!

She was there to keep the coldness away, to give her a little of her light to him when he was feeling especially down. She was there to smile at him and remain silent when needed to and to be as talkative as always when he needed the comfort of someone’s voice.

She had become a constant presence in his life and little by little Toshiro found himself needing more of her warm, more of her light, more of her in his life. He found himself blushing slightly when she smiled in that ‘Rangiku way’. He felt his heart missing several beats when she let her hand lingered for a moment on his or when she would casually touch his cheek in a tender way.

And little by little happened what he promised himself would never, ever happen to him again.

He fell in love with her.

She had helped him heal and had, unknowingly, given him hope. He hoped that maybe she would feel the same way, that maybe there was a chance to be together, that maybe they were mean to be.

Toshiro snorted at his own stupidity and fluffy thoughts. He had already broken one promise; he didn’t need to break another one. Standing up from the grass he had been laying on moments ago he tied himself up, put Hyorinmaru on his back and decided to make a quick stop before going directly to Rangiku’s birthday party.


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Rangiku kept nodding with her head while her eyes drifted for a moment to the dark window of her Taichou’s office. She bit her lower lip and a small frown formed on her forehead at not seeing any sign of her Taichou.

Her birthday party had started a long time ago and she was really happy to see all the people attending it. Most of the higher offices of the Gotei 13 were there enjoying the music, drinks and food that were offered to them.

Rangiku turned around to see Kyouraku teasing a blushing Ukitake and the woman couldn’t help but wonder just what Kyouraku had said to the man to make him blush.

She turned around and saw Kira and Shuuhei still engrossed in their conversation while her mind return once again to her Taichou. She couldn’t help the disappointment that fill her heart at the mere thought of him not being there.

It was hard to believe that three years had passed since the Winter War and almost a year since Gin’s execution. She still remembered the events after the war.

It was hard to forget the transformation her Taichou suffered in front of her after a sneaky attack from Gin, an attack that almost cost him his right eye and left a permanent scar in his otherwise unmarked skin. At that time she understood why all the Captains refer to her Taichou as the ‘Heavenly Guardian’. He was covered in ice, the wings and tail were a part of him and not a mere armour as it had been when he was in bankai mode. He was ready to open a path for Ichigo to attack Aizen.

But he never got to touch Aizen with his new found power, instead of hitting Aizen his attack came in contact with Hinamori Momo.

Rangiku’s hand closed with strength around the glass she was holding and anger went through her system at the memory of the stupid girl that had sacrificed her life for a man smiling in satisfaction behind her while Toshiro stood and saw dumbstruck at what he had done. What she hated more about Hinamori was the fact that even after being mortally wound by Toshiro and put on the ground by the same man; she smiled at him telling him she couldn’t allow Toshiro to hurt Aizen. Hinamori’s last words to Toshiro had been a request: Save him, Shiro-chan, please, don’t let him died…save him.

She hated Hinamori because she would never know how bad she had hurt Toshiro that day. How bad he tried to fight with a man who was laughing at the irony of the situation. How in the end Aizen got the opportunity that sent Toshiro in a coma.

Hinamori would never know how broken he was when he woke up, how guilty he felt, how much of a failure he thought he was.

Of course, Matsumoto Rangiku would never left things the way they become after her taichou woke up. She loved her taichou very much to leave him alone and go deeper and deeper in whatever kind of depression he was.

But it had been difficult, not only because her taichou was behaving out of character and trying hard to keep her and the rest of the world away, but also because the only traitor alive, at that moment, was Gin.

And once again she found tore between two men. The most important men in her live.

It was confusing for her but she didn’t know why it was confusing. She thought the only man in her life, the person she could love like a friend, brother and lover was Gin. And every time she went to the Second Division to visit Gin she wanted nothing more than to be with her taichou, to share the little moments they both had and see once again the little smile appearing on his face and the light of life returning to his beautiful teal eyes.

But she was there with Gin and she screamed at him, she talked to him; she remained silent while watching him smiled at her. And it was frustrating because he had that know-it-all attitude, that stupid smile telling her he knew something she didn’t. As if that wasn’t enough he let her know these things before his end.

She didn’t know why being with Gin felt as if she was cheating on her taichou, she didn’t knew why being with her taichou brought a happy feeling to her, she didn’t understand why her heart skip a beat every time she was in his presence.

She only understood all those confusing feeling the day before Gin’s execution. He had asked for her presence and she had gone without a doubt. Rangiku eyes were filled with tears when the weight of Gin’s destiny finally caught up with her, but the man only laughed and waved his hand at her.

Rangiku wanted to punch him in the face but his words and invitation to come closer to him caught her off guard. She hesitated, though. She wasn’t an idiot and she knew how sneaky Gin could be, she wasn’t about to fall for any kind of trap that could put him out of jail and gave him the opportunity to escape his execution.

However, he surprised her by grabbing her face in the most tender way and kissing her softly before whispering the words she had long to hear from him a long time ago.

“I love you.” And Rangiku’s world felt even more confused with this confession because she, once again, felt unfaithful. As if she was failing her taichou in some way for feeling the slight trace of happiness at Gin’s words.

She was about to reply but Gin’s lips on her stopped her, he let go of her and with his eyes opened he said something that would changed Rangiku and put her in the situation she was in now.

“I wish I could have tell you this a long time ago, taking you with me in my own division and then to Hueco Mundo.” He had said. “I wish I wouldn’t have left you with him. And my last and most important wish is to still be the holder of your heart and love.”

“What do you mean?” she had asked with confusion and Gin had only let go of her and moved to the back of his cell.

“Nuh-uh, Ran-chan, if I tell you then I wouldn’t have the satisfaction of making Shiro-chan suffered a little more.” He said, then giving an exaggerate sighed he said. “But, I wonder, even if you are in love with Hitsugaya-taichou, would he let go of Hinamori-kun to really be with you?”

She had left after those words left Gin’s mouth. And the weeks following their last conversation Rangiku’s mind went through his words over and over again trying to decipher the deception, the mockery, something that would tell her Gin was only playing with her.

But the only thing she found was truthfulness behind Gin’s words. She realized how right Gin had been in his assumptions regarding Rangiku’s feelings. And she hated it; she despised it because if Rangiku’s feelings were real, then Gin’s assumptions towards Hitsugaya were right as well.

°°0°°

“Rangiku?” Rangiku’s thoughts were cut short by a hand on her shoulder and the words uttered by someone beside her. She turned around and saw the concern in Hisagi’s face who was holding a glass with something inside of it.

“Sorry, I space out, what were you saying?” she asked trying to sound casual; Hisagi narrowed his eyes at her and hand her the glass he had in his hand.

“I thought you may be thirsty.”

“Oh, so considerate Shuuhei!” Said Rangiku in cheerful tone sending Hisagi a big smile that made the man smile back with a faint tinge of red on his cheeks.

“I was wondering since is your birthday and there is good music if maybe you…” Hisagi cleared his throat and continued, Rangiku knew what he was about to ask and was trying to look for the right words to reject his offer. “Maybe you would like to dance with me? Later, of course.”

“Oh, that sounds nice, Shuuhei. We’ll see.” She said and smiling one last time to the man she decided to go to Nanao before Shuuhei had the opportunity to reply to her comment.

“It seems like you left a very disappointed Hisagi behind you, Rangiku.” Rangiku sighed grimacing at Nanao’s comment and at her amused expression.

“I know, and I felt really bad, because…you know, he is not bad looking, and he is really sweet, but…”

“But…” pressed Nanao when Rangiku trailed off and bit her lower lip returning her grey eyes to the dark window of her Taichou’s office. Nanao followed her friend’s eyes and understood what Rangiku mean.

“But you already have your eyes on another person.”

Rangiku looked at Nanao and nodded her head; she was the only one Rangiku had told about the feelings she had developed for her Taichou. After all, Nanao may be the only one who really understood how difficult and troublesome Rangiku’s relationship with Toshiro could get. And not only because of their position as high officers, but as two people who had suffered in the past due to unrequited love.

“He is not here yet.” Said Rangiku after a moment, Nanao nodded her head and put a hand on Rangiku’s arm. When the woman turned around Nanao smiled at her.

“He’ll come. Don’t worry and enjoy your birthday.”


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He knew he was late.

But he didn’t care much, being late gave him the excuse to go directly to her and wish her a happy birthday without too much people bothering them. It also allowed him to hide from her and the other people present for a while and watched her from afar.

Like a good stalker. He heard Hyorinmaru in his head; Toshiro glared at his zanpakutou and decided to ignore his comment.

But, you do look like a stalker.

‘Shut up, Hyorinmaru! You’re not helping! Besides, I learnt this from you.’

How dare you?!

‘You spy on Haineko all the time. You thought I didn’t notice?’ There was a long silence inside his head and Toshiro was about to smile satisfied and glad with his verbal victory when Hyorinmaru spoke once again.

At least I’m dating the woman I’m stalking.

Toshiro’s eyebrow twitched and was about to reply when someone hugged him from behind and a familiar reiatsu (not to mention the soft and familiar feeling of breast pressed against his back) reached his senses. He relaxed in the arms of the person behind him and turned around to smile at her.

“You came!” she said with a smile of her own, which little by little transformed into a pout. “But you’re late, Taichou! You’re never late!”

“I know I have some things to do.” Said Toshiro and Rangiku waved her hand in an unconcern way.

“No problem at all, Taichou.” She said with a big smile, putting her hands behind her back and looking at him with the most innocent expression she could muster. “So…”

Toshiro lifted an eyebrow, “so…happy birthday?”

Rangiku’s smile grew even more and she neared her face to his, her sudden action made Toshiro took a step back and the white-haired taichou felt his cheeks warm at the closeness.

“Thank you, Taichou.” Rangiku said making sure she was looking directly into his teal eyes. “So, where is my present?”

If it wasn’t for the intensity of her stare and the fact that she was so closed to him, Toshiro would have laugh. He knew she had an ulterior motive to be so…enthusiastic. He shook his head and gave her an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, Matsumoto, I wasn’t able to…”

“You didn’t bring me a present?” she said, but before Toshiro could reply people around them went more noisy than usual and when both of them, Rangiku and Toshiro, turned to see what was all the ruckus they saw Kyouraku along with Nanao, Ukitake and the others were bringing a big birthday cake.

From then on Rangiku’s attention went directly to the people around her singing out of tune some birthday song Toshiro had heard several times before. He watched with a half smile as Rangiku beamed happy at her friends and enjoy their congratulations.

Toshiro watched her jumping from one group to the other, smiling happily at all of them, talking animatedly while receiving the gifts or the congratulations from each one of them.

It was so frustrating to see her go from one pair of male arms to the other. He knew at least that half of them did it because she was their friend and their intentions were ‘pure’. Kind of. But still he couldn’t help the frustration and the feeling of jealousy go through him at not being able to be by her side, an arm around her waist to make sure no one hugged her or touch her more than necessary.

He sighed, knowing he didn’t have the right to think those things, but he was a little mad and hurt because she had gone to everyone but him!

He followed her with his eyes until she finally arrived to where Ichigo was. The young man gave her a soft smile before hugging her in a way that made Toshiro closed his hands and glared at the pair. Then Rangiku kissed Kurosaki on his cheek! She kissed him!

On his cheek. Remind him Hyorinmaru. But it didn’t matter; it didn’t change the fact that she kissed him.

And damn Kurosaki Ichigo was looking smug and looking at Toshiro with a knowing smile!

Toshiro turned his face to the other side and lowered his gaze, a little hurt by Kurosaki’s and Rangiku’s gesture. Toshiro frowned and decided he had overstayed his invitation to the party, turning around he entered to his office walking away from the laughs, music and screams coming from the party.

He stopped briefly to watch the mountain o gifts people had left over his desk and remembered he hadn’t put his there, giving one last glanced he turned around and left.

“Thank you!!! This was one of the best gifts ever!” said Rangiku, Ichigo merely waved his hand.

“It wasn’t me, remember? It was Orihime and Ulquiorria’s gift.” He said letting his eyes moved to the spot where moments before was Toshiro. Ichigo frowned, he thought the young Captain was still there watching him and Rangiku with jealousy, but apparently he had left.

“Still, you bring it with you! And bring your own gift, right?” the last part was said with a tender smile but with a warning tone that almost made Ichigo sweatdrop.

“Yeah, I also brought mine.” He said.

Rangiku nodded her head and turned around, this time she was going to talk to her Taichou. The familiar feelings she got every time she thought about him and knew she was closed to him were back with full-forced. The butterflies, the rapid and nervous beating of her heart and the barely noticeable blush on her cheeks and the gleam of happiness in her eyes.

She had left her Taichou last, so her greeting could take more time; but when she turned around he was gone. She felt disappointed when she couldn’t spot him anywhere.

“Ichigo, have you seen my Taichou?” she asked turning to the orange-haired teen, Ichigo shook his head.

“I saw him left a moment ago.” Said Rukia looking from Rangiku to Ichigo.

“Really?” said Rangiku, now with the disappointment and the sadness more evident. “He left without saying good-bye, or without giving me an opportunity to bother him for not bringing me a gift.”

Ichigo and Rukia looked at each other, both lost as to what to say to improve Rangiku’s mood. But just as fast as she had gone gloomy she was back to her old self and after flashing them a brilliant smile turned around and went to the place where her drinking friends were…doing stupid things.


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Toshiro was sitting on his favourite chair beside the stereo he had bought in the Real World. He had his headphones on and the music was sounding really loud in his ears, it was perfect.

He let the music washed away all sensations that weren’t part of the instruments, of the story they were trying to tell. His mind and body went to another world every time he heard the sound of violins or pianos, oboes or harps. It was overwhelming, the way this humans unit all the instruments to form the most calming and inspiring melodies, to tell a story about defeat or love, about big palaces full with kings and knights.

Toshiro was never one to believe in fairy tales or such childish things, but the music he had gotten to know on his first trip to the Real World had given to him what no other thing from that world had giving to him. Imagination, dreams and a sense of…romanticism. And not necessary the kind of romanticism people used to associate with love. He was talking about the wild beauty of nature, of the soul, of the things surrounding him, even in the literature he had obtain was full of that romanticism thing people kept talking at that time.

And the music was…it was marvellous.

A soft, sincere smile made its way on his lips while he heard at one of his favourite composers.

Vivaldi.

I hate to interrupt you, but there is someone at the door. Toshiro opened his eyes at Hyorinmaru’s words. He looked at the door before taking his headphones off to finally hear the persistent knock of someone at his door. He frowned, slightly annoyed for being interrupt, but stood up and went to open the door.

Seeing her there, standing in front of him with a soft smile and a piece of cake on a plate in her hands was something he wasn’t expecting. The way Hyorinmaru stirred inside him told him the dragon had known who was at his door.

“You left before we cut the cake” was all she said and offered him the piece of chocolate cake she had brought with her.

“I…I was tired.” He replied looking from the cake to Rangiku.

“Oh, I understand. Here.” She said and Toshiro could tell she was kind of hurt by his comment. “I just came to give you this, if you want I can go and…”

“No!” his exclamation surprised her and made him blush a little. “I mean, I thought you would like to go back to your party.”

“Well, I just…” she trailed off and both of them stood there in an uncomfortable silence.

Invite her in!

“Why don’t…you come in?” said Toshiro hesitant, Rangiku’s eyes lit up and she nodded her head before entering his place and going directly to his living room.

She could count with one hand the amount of times she had been there. And her taichou never let her in, ever. Now that she was granted permission she would take full advantage of it. It didn’t surprise her at all, how organized and selective her taichou was. He had three book shelves, no surprise there, beside them there was another shelf, this one containing a large amount of music and Rangiku’s eyes opened in surprise. Even after being by his side, after trying to heal him after the war there were things she didn’t know about him.

She lowered her gaze a little sad at this revelation, but at the same time happy for discovering it. She let her hand passed over some of the discs before she stopped on the stereo where some headphones were still connected. Curious, as to what he was listening to before she arrived, she grabbed the headphones and put them on.

Behind her, Toshiro was watching with a soft and relaxed smile as she looked over all his possessions. Or at least the ones on his living room. He neared her and chuckled at the way her nose wrinkled in dislike at whatever she had heard coming from his stereo.

“Taichou, I didn’t know you like this boring music!” she said taking them off the stereo and letting the music fill the room. Toshiro’s eyes were wide opened and looking at the woman in front of him with incredulity.

“Boring?” He sputtered out.

“yeah, it sounds boring.”

“that’s…how could you?” he said and the tone of voice he had used surprise the woman who watched as her taichou breath in and out while turning the volume up.

Rangiku couldn’t help but smile and let herself being hold by him. “This is one of the best inventions from the Real World.”

“I don’t believe you.” She said only for the pleasure of seeing his incredulity grow and a little, but cute, frown appeared on his face.

Having him this close made her aware of the scar over his eye and made her appreciate the maturity that came with age. He certainly had grown (he was almost as tall as her) from the little boy she had known once in Rukongai and was now looking like a young adult.

“This music is poetry. It makes your senses…” Rangiku lifted an eyebrow amused by the lack of words from her taichou. It wasn’t everyday you see him lack the right words to express what he wanted.

“Yes? It makes your senses…?” Toshiro glared at her when he identified the teasing tone in her voice and the gleam of amusement in her eyes.

Toshiro waited for the right moment in which the song would introduce the violins, Rangiku watched as his face turned serious, concentrate in whatever he was thinking.

“Hear, can you hear the violins in that movement?” he said suddenly, Rangiku nodded her head and Toshiro let out a tiny, little smile.

“It’s talking; somehow, it’s talking without the need of words or someone singing about feelings or nonsense.” He said. “This music is…it had its own soul, its own language. Sometimes music is too intense that the only thing you can do is let yourself go.”

Rangiku tilted her head to the side and watched, her eyes softening at the passion pouring out from him. She wondered if he knew his reiatsu was just making small fluctuations around her, making her feel more sensitive at his presence. Something she wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t for the fact it was making her crazy, wanting nothing more than hug him and never let him go.

“So, you’re saying this music has its own soul and body?” she asked, Toshiro turned to her and nodded his head. “I don’t understand your passion, Taichou. But I think is really cute!”

He growled at her comment which only made her giggle at him and gave her the opportunity to keep teasing him.

“But it’s true!!” she said and Toshiro felt wary under her eyes. “You just look like a kid on Christmas!”

“I’m not cute! And I’m certainly not a kid!” he replied under his breath.

“Of course you’re not.” She said and Toshiro merely rolled his eyes, though he was really enjoying her attention. He wouldn’t say so out loud, but it was nice to have a lone time with her, far from the crowed Tenth division and from all the people who were bound to want her near them.

He was happy she decided to come to his place to bring the cake, he watched as Matsumoto turned her attention once again to the shelf in which was his music and started pulling out the ones she like.

“Oh, Taichou. I didn’t know you like The Killers” she said putting out one of their CDs. “I thought you only like this classical thing.”

He sighed and go near her, “No, I did say music was the best invention the Real World could come up with.”

“Nuh-uh, you said this classical music was the best.”

“I didn’t say only…hn, never mind.” He said dropping the discussion when he noticed her mischievous expression. “I like music, in all forms. I like some stiles more than others.”

“And you like the ‘The Killers’?”

“Yes.”

“And…Neil Young?” she asked lifting an felt himself blush in embarrassment but he nodded his head. “And ‘Within Temptation’?”

“Would you stop doing that?” he asked while putting the CDs back to their place after Rangiku pulled them out without returning them to its original place.

“So with all this music…do you know how to dance, Taichou?” Her question caught Toshiro off guard and he turned to look at her with a serious expression which surprise Rangiku.

“No, not really.” He said. “I watched movies and I seen humans do it, but…never tried it before.”

“Why not? It’s really fun!” she exclaimed with a happy smile on her face. “It’s one of the things I like the most. Of course, I’m only really good at Japanese dancing.”

“I know.” Mumbled Toshiro with a slightly blush, remembering that time he caught her dancing around on their office.

“Of course you do.” Replied Rangiku, thought this time she only smile at him in a gently way.

“Hinamori used to say I should learn to dance.” Said Toshiro remembering suddenly Hinamori’s words. Rangiku tilted her head to the side and tried to conceal her annoyance at hearing the girls’ name. “She also used to say I should play some instrument or try to sing something.”

“She used to say a lot of things.” Rangiku regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth; she turned around and discovered her Taichou looking at her with a serious expression. “Sorry, I just…find it hard to believe you can’t dance with this music.”

Toshiro kept his eyes on her, trying to decipher what she meant by her earlier comment about Hinamori. Another song started playing on the stereo and Toshiro let out a snort when he heard Vivaldi’s ‘From the Four Seasons’ song had finished and instead of Vivaldi there could be heard one of Strauss compositions.

“I can dance with this music, Matsumoto.” He said suddenly with a clear idea of what he wanted to do next.

“So, you took Hinamori’s advice? I thought you said you only watched other people doing it. Did you learn to dance only by watching?” ‘Only for her?’ she asked (and thought) and found herself a little angry when she saw the blush forming on his face along with a shy expression. So, he did learn to dance only for the sake of Hinamori.

“I’m not going to answer that question.” He said more nervous than usual, his hand twitched at his side, Toshiro lifted his face and took a step forward with his right arm outstretched towards Matsumoto. “You can judge if I’m a good dancer or not.”

His words and gesture caught Matsumoto by surprise, she looked at the inviting hand in front of her and then at her taichou. He was trying to look confident and unconcern, as if this was just another training session between the both of them.

But the way he was looking at her, the eagerness in his eyes, the hope and shyness she saw in his teal eyes were telling her another thing. Something she was afraid to read or understand because it could mean…

He feels the same way; it could mean you have an opportunity with him. Said Haineko inside her head, Rangiku felt the ash-cat moving inside of her, pressing for Rangiku to just go for it.

Toshiro wait for a minute before thinking that maybe Rangiku didn’t want to discover if he knew how to dance. A little hurt, he was about to speak, to do something else to stop his embarrassment when her warm hand closed around his cold one. He looked at her and saw a small smile gracing her features and her eyes gleaming in a way he had never seen before.

“Let’s see what you got, Taichou.” She said. “but I have to warn you, I’m a really good dancer.”

“I know.” He mumbled and when he realized what he had said Rangiku was already giggling.

“I knew you were watching me that time!”

“I wasn’t!! It was a coincidence!” he replied back, bringing her towards him with more force than necessary. Rangiku yelped in surprise, she put her free hand on his chest while Toshiro put his around her waist while grabbing tenderly but firm her other hand.

“So, you do know how to grab a lady.” She said teasingly, Toshiro merely rolled his eyes but his annoyed expression got lost due to the red tinge adorning his cheeks.

As he took her with him in the most gently way (she didn’t know he could be so ‘though’ and at the same time so tender) and started moving in synch with the music.

It was strange the way she was looking at him with so much…fire. He was certain she had never look at him in such a passionate way, had she? He didn’t realize when he pressed his body against hers, or when their faces came closer and closer until there was only thin air separating them. He looked at her in the eye before lowering them to her part lips. Without thinking or caring at all, he closed the gaped between them and put his lips against hers.

The sensations the kiss awoke in them were electrifying and addicting.

Something he or she didn’t knew a kiss could transmit. It was soft at first, almost shy. A touch of lips moving against each others, trying to take the first taste of innocent love. Even if both of them were far from being innocent.

The music engulfed them while Toshiro put his arms around her waist and Rangiku put hers around his neck, tilting her head to the side to deepen the kiss. Toshiro was certain he had never kissed anyone like he was kissing Rangiku at the moment, ever. It didn’t matter that Rangiku was his first kiss. He was certain he had never been so teasing and tender, so passionate and dominant. He let himself feel, he let his sense, his heart, his mind guide him in the kiss and Rangiku was responding in the same way.

She was being passionate and submissive, shy and demanding.

Rangiku opened her mouth and let her tongue duel with Toshiro’s for a moment before she gave in and let Toshiro explore. A low moan could be heard coming from the two of them. Rangiku hands moved, one to his hair and the other one to his chest, while Toshiro was making circles on her lower back while the other was holding her hip firmly.

Just when Toshiro was about to move from her mouth to explore her chin, neck, her whole body a big explosion made them stop and let go of each other.

They started talking at the same time, both apologizing, both ignoring their flustered expressions, their hard breathing, their eyes filled with lust and that something else they had identify in each other’s eyes early.

“I’m sorry, Taichou. I guess…I distract myself and …” started Rangiku, looking for a good excuse to her behaviour. “I didn’t mean it!”

Toshiro felt something inside him broke at her words, but he also nodded his head and repeat her words. “I didn’t mean it either. I’m sorry Matsumoto, I don’t know what or why I did it.”

“No, it’s okay...I…I better go.” As soon as she said those words she went directly to the door and left. Toshiro watched the open door and felt something heavy and painful in his chest. Making it difficult to breathe or think, he went to the door and closed it, putting his forehead on the cold surface.

Toshiro, don’t let her go. Go for her! Chase after her! Toshiro could feel the spirit of his zanpakutou behind him, his voice deep and hard reaching his ears, but instead of opening the door and running to Rangiku as his heart and body want to, he turned around and went directly to his favourite chair beside his stereo.

Toshiro…Master…

“Not now, Hyorinmaru. I just…I want to be alone.” He said putting the headphones on and closing his eyes. Hyorinmaru sighed and decided to leave his Master alone.

Once he was sure Hyorinmaru had left, Toshiro lifted his hand and let his fingertips touch his lips. It had felt so good, so addictive. He still could feel her lips on his, he could feel them moving in synch with his…

He let his fingertips linger over his lips for a moment before opening his eyes and taking a deep breath. He knew if he had a taste of Matsumoto Rangiku he wouldn’t be able to let go of her…and now, sitting on his chair, at his place after the kiss, after letting her go…He wondered silently how he could make her come back to him. How he could make her his…as much as he already was hers.


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Rangiku never got back to her party.

Instead she went directly to her place not stopping until her back was against the front door and her breathing returned to normal.

Unconsciously, she took her hand to her lips and with closed eyes she re-played the kiss between her and Toshiro over and over again, until she realized it hadn’t been a dream and the kiss had actually taken place a few minutes ago.

Why did you run away? Why didn’t you stay? She heard Haineko inside her head. Rangiku shook her head and when she opened her eyes she noticed a rectangular box on a table in her living room. Curious as to what it was and who had left it there she approached the object.

Her hand hovered above the box, and now that she was close she noticed it was decorate with white and pink and on top of it was a birthday card. When she took the card she could sense her taichou’s reiatsu on it, and when she opened it his tidy and perfect handwriting along with his signature at the end was all Rangiku needed to know he had been at her place earlier that day.

Matsumoto,

Happy birthday.

I found this in a visit to the Real World and I thought you may like it.

Hitsugaya Toshiro.

Rangiku shook her head amused at how short and straight to the point the card was. Rangiku’s heart was beating fast when she returned her eyes to the box. It was really big and had a nice decoration, but what could be inside?

Maybe if you opened it… she heard Haineko growled inside her with impatience. Rangiku nodded her head and opened it.

Both, Haineko and Rangiku gasped in shock. Before putting its contents (one by one, being careful with each one of them) out she took it directly to her room and carefully started putting the beautiful kimono out of it.

Oh my, Is…is…wow, Toshiro-kun sure knows how to impress a girl.

‘I know, I know…how did he…how…did he found out about it?’

The kimono was beautiful piece of art (in Matsumoto’s opinion) that was held by five different people back in Japan. As long as she knew, they were part of a private collection and were made in the Heian or the Edo period. She had only got to see them thanks to a little escape she had made with Gin back when she was a seat officer and he had recently become a fukutaichou.

Rangiku’s sight went blurry and she knew she had a goofy smile on her face. She couldn’t believe he got her one of the best birthday gifts ever. Not even Gin had given her something this…meaningful for her.

Humph, if you ask me, I think this gift cost him a fortune. I don’t think they’re a lot of men out there who would buy something this expensive and special just for their subordinates.

Rangiku let out a sighed and sat on her bed, she knew Haineko was right. She had already thought about it. Looking at the kimono and putting a hand over her lips, the lips that moments ago Toshiro had kissed, Rangiku promised herself to not let her chance of happiness slip away from her.


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Mhm, Not Mean to Be is a song by Theory of a Dead Man from the Transformers Soundtrack.

Also, I made up the part of the kimono, though, not the historical periods.

So, this is it. How was it? Did you like it? Don’t forget to tell me all of this in a nice review. Don’t flame me thought, instead give me a nice and useful critique.