DEATH to Misa Misa

I do NOT own Death Note nor do I own BLEACH. I also make NO profit from defiling them with my story.

DEATH to Misa Misa
A BLEACH & Death Note Crossover Parody

The idea for this story came to me from a longstanding joke that I was told by EvilChibiNic. EvilChibiNic had been shopping with her mother while on vacation, and came across a couple of Death Note Fangirls aged at about thirteen years old. The girls were griping about the fact Death Note was over. And one of the girls made a heated comment that Death Note should be crossed over with BLEACH. *sigh*
So I wrote this story as some sort of horrific tribute to EvilChibiNic.

Enjoy! XD

‘Thoughts’
“Speech”
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~Third Person POV~

Misa Misa was walking down the street to go buy some new lingerie. She planned to seduce Light after their date on Friday and then ask his hand in marriage. For this reason she decided she had to buy to cutest, sexiest lingerie ever made. She had heard of a legendary lingerie boutique selling magical lingerie that will enamor anyone who sees you in said lingerie. It was rumored to be in Akihabara, which was currently where she was but there was only a 2-3% chance of finding it or so the rumors said.

“Please let me find it! I have to! My future with Raito-kun depends on it!”

Misa Misa wasn’t as much of a stupid ditz as everyone thought she was. She knew that Raito was a man-slut! She also knew he only really dated her in the beginning thanks to Rem. Misa Misa sighed thinking of Rem. Smacking herself to keep her from getting depressed, she continued her search.

Finally seeing some scantily clad mannequins from the corner of her eye, she ran to the window of the store and peered inside. The stores color theme seemed to be black and various shades of pink. In the window were beautiful black lacquered mannequins both female, spooning with looks of utter bliss on their lifeless faces. One was wearing a faded pink see through babydoll made of what seemed to be Italian lace, while the other was wearing a sexy satin underwire bra, garter and thong set in a slightly darker shade of pink. A black crushed velvet backdrop with ‘Moe’ embroidered in baby pink hid the rest of the store from view {1}. Liking what she saw, she quickly found the entrance and pushed open the door to the store. Standing in the doorway, Misa Misa gaped at the lavish décor.

‘This must be it!’

The walls were painted a medium rose color, and large cart wheels were painted a few shades darker. Also there seemed to be an infinite amount of delicate black butterflies in different sizes littering the walls. Surprisingly there were no racks littering the show room, but instead there were more black lacquered mannequins in unique and very intricate poses and dressed in different outfits all in various shades of pink. To the right side of the store was a doorway surrounded with a combination of black satin and velvet curtains.

‘That must be the Dressing Rooms.’

On the left there was an elegant black loveseat with cherry wood trim and legs, paired with a small black marble table with a cherry wood base. On the table was a vase with an arrangement of pink and white lilies. This must have been the only white in the entire room. And in the back of the store centered on the front door was a heart shaped cherry wood counter. Plush black carpet covered the floor, in which Misa Misa noticed was pitched upward like a stage {2}.

‘Beautiful!’ Thought Misa Misa as she moved to one of the butterflies to touch it.

Suddenly all the butterflies took flight, all Misa Misa could do was stand gaping at them as they flew this way and that.

“Welcome to Moe. . .”

Startled out of her bemusement Misa Misa looked around for a moment to find the shop attendant finding her over near the curtains. The attendant was a beautiful woman with her long black hair pulled back into a braid. She wore a black maid’s outfit that was very short and had pink plaid sleeves and fabric barely keeping her breasts in check, as well as pink thigh highs and seven inch high heels. Misa Misa walked towards the attendant.

“My name is Nemu. . . How may I be of service?”

“Um, I’m looking for some lingerie. I’m planning on proposing to my boyfriend on Friday and I really want everything to be perfect. . . ” Misa Misa trailed off blushing a little.

“Congratulations. . . ” Said the attendant less than enthusiastic, “Please, this way. . .”

Misa Misa followed Nemu into the next room. The room was far less stunning. It was just like a big changing room, with a large mirror that stood in the corner with two smaller matching mirrors on each side at their respective angles. Also there was a large round ottoman that probably could have doubled as a bed and a few hooks on the wall. The strangest thing about this room was the fact it was completely white, including the furniture. But the lighting was nice, not dim, but also not florescent. Moe had the right idea. Honestly how was anyone supposed to enjoy shopping when it was so easy to see all of our imperfections. It’s surprising that anyone buys anything. Looking over at Nemu, Misa Misa was surprised to find Nemu bent over at the waist picking up a small bottle off the floor.

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~Misa Misa’s POV~

I‘m in the dressing room and I don’t even have anything to try on! Looking over I spot Nemu, my mouth opening to ask her if I can go look around for something to try on. Turning to face her I look down at her and I just freeze there with my mouth open. Nemu. . . . . . . . Why isn’t she wearing any panties!!!!! I see the pale silky skin of her ass, and for some reason I want nothing more than to touch her. I can see that she is very wet. I take a step towards her.

“Do you have a preference?”

“Excuse me!?” I blushed bright red.

Nemu gave me a small smile and said, “Things like style and cut? What are you looking for?”

Feeling relieved she hadn’t caught me, and more than a little embarrassed I smiled, “Oh! Can’t I look around and pick something out myself?”

“Sorry, but if I let you do that you would probably be very disappointed on Friday.”

“Why is that?”

“Because then it wouldn’t be the perfect lingerie.”

This Nemu was getting on my nerves! Why couldn’t I pick something out? I know Raito, and what he likes better than anyone! I puffed out my cheeks in irritation.

“Why? Is it a problem?” Nemu said.

“No, I guess not.” I give up. As long as Raito will be mine, what should I care what I wear.

“So no preference on style or cut then?”

“No. . . ” Misa sighed.

“Alright, I’ll be right back then.”

Nemu made her way over to a door that I hadn’t seen when I first entered the room. It was tucked away behind the trio of mirrors, barely visible. I sat down on the Ottoman to wait for her return, and slumped down into a comfortable position with my legs spread open slightly resting back on my hands. Signing I looked in to the mirror, staring at my own reflection blankly for a moment. Sighing again I lay down, closing my eyes and covering my face with my hand. I hope she doesn't take a long time.

I heard footsteps out in the showroom. Slowly I opened my eyes turning my head back to the mirror. Staring at myself for a few more moments I notice that one of my pigtails is disheveled. The band is loose and my pigtail looks very frumpy. Reaching up to my hair I pull out my hair tie and I claw my fingers through the section of hair. Sitting up to fix my hair better I slip the band back over the lump of hair. Suddenly I see something dark move into the mirror. I gasp loudly clutching my legs, my body preparing to run. Looking over at the mirror to my right, a little afraid that I shouldn’t be looking at all, I am startled to find a man with long black hair peeking at me around the frame of the doorway. I gasped as the man stepped fully into view.

He wore a white suit with a black handkerchief folded neatly in his breast pocket and a black tie. Looking down to his feet I see that he was not wearing coordinating shoes. They were black with white piping forming pattern, and upon closer inspection I found they had clear heels with goldfish inside.

“Hey! Where’s the whore that works here?” Said the man.

“Um, who are you?” I asked.

“Names Nnoitra.” He leered at me. “Tch. Nice to meet‘cha.”

“. . .”

“So? Where is my sow? ”Looked at me like I was stupid.
I puffed out my cheeks and prepared to answer him curtly when I heard movement from behind the door Nemu had disappeared behind, and the door opened. Nemu stepped out from behind the mirrors, and held out a soft pink camisole with laces that were nearly red in color tying just under the cups. Even from the front I could see a small pair of angel wings that seemed to be made of a very short and sparkly fake fur. Like hell I'm going to wear that! It looks like a cheap, skanky costume! If I come out trying to seduce Raito wearing this, I would end up sitting on the floor in front of his bed with a vacant expression absolutely humiliated as he laughs at me.

“No way! I'm not wearing that! I'm trying to seduce him, not go out trick-or-treating. . .”

“. . .” Nemu just stood there holding the lingerie.

“So go find me something else Nemu!”

“Ya know, nobody's ever returned nothing back ta Moe.” Drawled Nnoitra.

My eyes shot open, “What the hell are you still doing in here?”

“Oh ya! I'm lookin' fur my Bitch. Have you seen her Nemu?”

“You're looking for Neliel?” She inquired.

“No shit! Yer a smart one! So ya seen 'er? That bitch ran off with Ichigo again! She's scheduled for a fuck with some rich prick in little less than an hour, and I didn't get last night’s profits off of 'er neither.” He sneered.

“Why are you looking for her here?” Asked Nemu. “She hasn't been here in a few weeks.”

Nnoitra sidled up to Nemu and grabbed her up by the neck. “Listen ya waist of space, yer gonna call her out here or I'm gonna cut up yer pretty face.”

Nnoitra pulled out a large black butterfly knife and held it up against Nemu’s cheek. “Ya wouldn't want that, now would ya?”

Nemu just stood there calmly, and kneed him in the balls. Nnoitra let out a shriek, dropped the knife and crouched holding his poor abused manhood.

“Nnoitra. . . I thought I told you not to show your face around here anymore.”

I turned around to see a man- Well I think he was a man, it was kind of hard to tell what with the. . . What is that? A ruff? A hoodie maybe? Anyways whatever it was was trimmed heavily with a thick royal blue fur. He had horrendous black and white face paint, and some gold attachments to his face. They were almost like you might see in a history book of Egypt, except that I don’t think any of the Pharaohs put obnoxious gold saucers on their ears. What is he a pimp too? Wait a second, do pimps wear lab coats?

“Fuck off! Ya got somethin’ a mine an I want it back!” Nnoitra screamed from the floor.

“Nnoitra. . . I assure you that Neliel is not here. I implore you to leave now before I trigger the security system.” Explained the fashion victim rubbing the bridge of his nose in an irritated manner.

“Like fuck ya will.” Said Nnoitra standing up and brushing off invisible specks of dirt and whatnot. “Ya got a customer here.”

“Ah, but I’ve done a lot of hard work on the kinks in my security system you see.” Said the man as he walked over to Nnoitra and grabbed him by the arm and started walking to the doorway leading to the showroom.

“Hey! Get yer hands off me ya freak!” Nnoitra yelled struggling to break free as he was half dragged into the showroom.

Nemu moved to follow the two men into the other room. Following suit I stood up to follow as well.

The fuzzy ruffed man chuckled a bit and called out, “Intruder!”

Standing in the doorway with Nemu, I saw all the black butterflies start zooming around the room. They were flying around extremely fast, almost sporadically flying no place in particular. Suddenly the butterflies started flying in a whirlwind like fashion around Nnoitra and the ‘interesting’ guy. Nothing could be seen of the two men now, just a large black swarm. Screaming could be heard over the soft fluttering sound that the butterflies made. A couple of minutes passed and the butterflies started to disperse, giving us a glimpse of ‘fuzzy’ and a very naked Nnoitra.

“That was my favorite suit, ya asshole.” Nnoitra shouted looking himself over. All but his ‘fish bowl’ shoes were gone.

Nnoitra looked up at the saucer eared man, and a look of shock crossed his face, “What the flying fuck?! Why aren’t ya naked?!”

“I told you I tinkered with them a bit.” He said sighing and shaking his head slowly. “It wouldn’t hurt you to listen you know.”

“The mannequins are still clothed too!”

“That’s enough! Just leave already!!” Snapped the fuzzy headed man, dragging the other man to the door.

Nnoitra sputtered some protests as he was thrown out the door, on to the sidewalk. Saucer-head shut the door as Nnoitra ran to it and started tugging on the handle.

“Nemu get the keys!” Ordered the Pharaoh-wanna-be, struggling to keep Nnoitra outside. “Hurry Nemu!”

“Yes, Mayuri-sama.” Said Nemu before running to the door behind the heart shaped desk.

A large crowd had gathered outside watching the naked man. Suddenly the crowd started to disperse, and to police officers walked into view.

Nnoitra's face was quite comical as he noticed the police officers.

“Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to come with us.”

Nnoitra turned around quickly and ran down the street and out of sight. "Like hell ya dumb fucks! Come n' get me!"

TBC (Maybe, depending on feedback I get)
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A.N.
{1} Pronounced ‘Moe-ay’ I’m sure you all know what Moe is. . . I just kept writing and reading it as Moe (Like from the Three Stooges) it was driving me insane.

{2} Stages (for ballet in any case) used to be tilted at an angle tilting down towards the audience. But theaters were pretty different then, as the seating was not gradated at all.

Sorry I ended it here (if you were enjoying it), I just got really bored with it (probably due to the fact I don’t think anyone will read it). Thank you for reading. If anyone is interested in reading another installment, please review. I can either continue the story as it is, or I can add different pairings. Although I'm not sure anyone would read it. I really dislike crossovers, and I feel many others probably feel the same, so I don't expect a lot.

Send me Parings and I’ll put them in. Right now I feel like adding some (Fluff Only) Szayel/Mayuri. Before I started writing the fic I planed to have someone “rape” (don’t worry she would have been willing eventually.) Misa Misa but then I started writing and I just couldn’t feel it anymore. . .

PLEASE READ: The first person that can guess the reference on the ‘fish bowl’ shoes will get a fic of your choice written by me. Anything goes!

By the way I Beta'd this myself so any corrections are a big help. And if anyone is interested in being my Beta then please review!

But I'd still like to hear everyone's opinion. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks again for reading!

Belial