Different Shades of a Smile

Ha! Guess what I found? A drabble! Of sorts… >_>

 I wrote this loooong ago when I was working at a bookstore and I had a lot of time on my hands. I polished it a bit, it’s not perfect by any means but I remember I really enjoyed writing it when I did, so again, I am sharing cuz I can ^_^

 I guess it is a little Ukitake worship-ish but then who doesn’t worship that guy? *fan-squee*

 NOTE: Because I wrote/write so many Ukitake one-shots I’m just going to dump them all here. These will not be Romance … usually >_> they’ll just be one-shot stories I have written about Ukitake (and maaaaaybe others), as I clean them up when I go along :)

 So as always, please let me know what you think, and I hope you all enjoy. Thank you!

Title: Touch

Warnings:

Characters: Hitsugaya and Ukiake (NO SLASH)

Ukitake-taichou was a kind soul.

 This wasn’t even worth mentioning. It was like stating the sky was blue or the ocean had waves. A redundancy at its best but it still didn’t deter the fact that Ukitake was a kind soul.

 More so than most.

 And more than was honestly good for him.

 He cared too much, gave too much, promised too much and generally spewed around too much of muchness. Such overwhelming kindness should be… well overwhelming or at the very least illegal. But like the endless blue sky or the raging waves it never was. Even though they are potent, powerful and can be overbearingly impressive, they were always just the right amount. And even when you stand on the edge of the shore or stare up at the heavens, you can’t help but wish you could stay there forever.

 His kindness and care, like any nature panorama, was a form of potent Zen. You could lose yourself if you weren’t careful.

 This didn’t explain why Hitsugaya found himself with a badly broken wrist after he had patted said kind soul on the shoulder. He stared at the bone and blood with a strange mix of confusion and shock.

 Ukitake was blabbering, apologizing in a panicked voice. But Toshiro was barely paying attention. All he could see in his mind’s eye was the cold desolate expression on Ukitake’s face as he calmly reached up behind him and snapped his wrist with sickening precision.

 As if it had been practiced, refined.

 Not so much a defence as a second habit he never shook off.

 Which begged the question, where did you pick up such habits?

 “We need to get you to fourth,” Jushiro said kindly breaking Toshiro away from morbid thoughts. Jushiro kept his hands open, gesturing to the door but he never laid a hand on him. This was worrying. Ukitake was an extremely affectionate man… which again didn’t explain why Toshiro now had a broken wrist.

 “What just happened” Toshiro said, his voice hard.

 “I-I am so sorry, it… um… it’s a b-bad…” Jushiro was stuttering. Stuttering. A two thousand year old Shinnigami warrior with more reiatsu than five Captains combined was stuttering like a nervous first year. It was disconcerting.

 “Why did you break my wrist?” Toshiro said his voice now harbouring a cold tone. He liked Jushiro, hell everyone did but right now he wanted answers not apologies.

 He watched Jushiro take a deep breath and close his eyes. As if calming his soul, trying to bring himself to some peace. That too was disconcerting, Ukitake was never this frazzled. Then he opened his eyes, as warm as the sun and smiled a smile that carved away at his icy exterior. Damn that man and his powerful smiles.

 “I will tell you,” Jushiro’s voice was rich and warm, “But let’s first get you to the Fourth Division,” his eyes softened even further, “Please,”

 It was so easy to lose yourself in those caring eyes. Rimmed with nothing but concern and kindness, and voice warm like a mother’s love. Jushiro could buckle hardened warlords with a word, stop a raging hollow with a smile and bring peace to war torn lands with nothing more but his presence. Woe unto those who did not take these powers into consideration when attacking the Seireitei, they were more powerful than any sword.

 But Toshiro had youth stubbornness. A sure thing against any adult’s patience. A harsh bitter stubbornness born from winters as cold as the earth is old. It would take many smiles to melt his heart.

 “I have dealt with worse,” he quickly lowered his eyes to avoid the hurt look he knew would come, “I want an explanation,” feeling his resolve stronger he turned back to his fellow Captain and said with as much conviction as he could muster in the face of such a criminally caring expression, “I demand one,”

“I-“

 “Please” Toshiro said, and was surprised at the reaction he got.

 Jushiro’s smile slid away replaced by a sombre look, and his eyes went dead. Like the light had been turned off. It was as if he completely shut down. There was a moment when Toshiro wasn’t even certain he would even speak. The cold stare was almost enough for him to back up and run to fourth but he held out. He was no coward.

 “I was thrown into a situation where my only salvation was either kill or die,” his voice was as hollow as his eyes, “And in that time I regrettably learned to despise unwanted touch,” His eyes flickered to life but only revealed a cold bitterness that was as alien as Unohana yelling at a subordinate.

 “Does that satisfy your curiosity?”

 Toshiro was a brave Captain, it went without saying. But the look in those once caring eyes was enough to shatter any resolve. He could feel his icy walls crumble to reveal the smallest insecurities he’d ever had.

 “Yes,” Toshiro managed, surprised by his own will power that his voice was not shaking. Jushiro did not say another word but his reiatsu was pulled tightly back, the calming sea air nowhere to be found, and Toshiro found emptiness within him but appreciation as well. He was certain the energy in that reiatsu was not something he wanted to experience at that point.

He was led to the Fourth Division in dead silence. Words felt trivial and though he appreciated the kind gesture of taking him to Fourth, he couldn't help but wish he hadn't. He felt small in the face of such a confession, and guilt pressed up from his chest but he stopped it from showing as best he could. When they reached Fourth Ukitake left him in Unohana-taichou's hands and the mellow Captain easily patched him up. And when asked what happened he had replied with little thought on the matter;

 “It was just an accident,” which wasn’t far from the truth, and thankfully Retsu left it at that. Bless her terrifying soul.

 In the coming days Toshiro watched Ukitake like a hunter might watch a lion. Always waiting for him to turn around and attack. But it never happened, the smile slid back into place and no one was the wiser. He still greets Toshiro, and lavishes him with as much candy as he can fit into his sleeves but even so Toshiro can’t help but wonder…

 Jushiro was a kind man to a fault, he cared too much, gave too much and spewed around too much of muchness. He was there when you needed him, and if you didn’t he was still there to make sure you were alright in any case. But in that kindness and goodness Toshiro had learned something startling:

A beautiful and friendly smile can be a mask too.

* * *

Meh it wasn't perfect but as I stated I did have some fun in writing it. Hopefully it was just as fun to read >_> lol!