rate_review Reviews

Finish it

I love this story. Who does Captain Kuchiki chose? Or Ukitake? Or even Zaraki? Hmm. Wonder who will take Zaraki.

I finally got around to reading this and now I'm wondering if I shouldn't take up the challenge. you already know who I like and it would be funny ^^ not to mention i would really like to read the rest. like who on god's greene arth would want to marry what's-his-face in the 12th division? ^^ I like it, let me know if I can help!

I can imagine Renji being honest and picking up basically the first woman he sees. That's so like him. Interesting.

Though this is a nicely written fic there are a few things that blow major holes in it. #1 Last time I checked Central 46 was completely WIPED OUT by Aizen shortly after Ichigo and his friends first arrived in the Soul Socity Yamamoto took over their duties so if we're going by what has happened in the series so far this thing wouldn't happen. #2 You said this takes place a few MONTHS after the manga/anime then wouldn't Hitsuguya still look like a MIDDLE SCHOOLER?! #3 In Ep 49 when Rukia has her flashback it never shows Kaien or Miyako(Kaien's wife) wear a wedding ring. #4 The time limit on when a baby is to be born, ya do know that sometimes it takes couples along time before they have a child even WITH medical aide. #5 You completely disreguarded certain characters Squad 2' Lt. is a complete nimbrod that is also obnoxis(SP?) & self-absorbed with as much intelligance as a FUCKING SOAP-DISH, Shunsui is a FREAKING LECHER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, Kenpachi is 95% of the time is looking for a fight, and as I said before Miyuri would rather DISECT a woman than get to know her. If you and/or your sis DON'T belive me please goto Wikipedia and check it out for yourself.

I really like this story. It's well written and you do a great job with the characters. Just one question, what are the particulars for this Marriage Law Challenge? I would like to write a response to it, but don't know exactly what it is...

That's an interesting start! I'm curious to see if the other captains have it so easy or not. I like it!

Hehe I'd take Renji as my husband any day!! Please update soon.

A word to the wise: it's 'lose' not 'loose' in the context you have it in. Just thought I'd let you know. The spelling otherwise is pretty good, as is the formatting, but the plot itself really seems forced. I'm not going to go into further detail because you have done a good job writing the language itself, but next time maybe use something a little more believable. I'll admit that Soul Society doesn't really give a rip when it comes to its laws, but its never infringed on personal lives to that degree before, and to be completely honest it sounded more like something a fanfic writer made up with all the clauses attached, than a realistic law. Just my opinion, and I don't mean to tear you down. Keep writing!

To: Platinumsabr. What do you think this site is for writing stories? You might want to reread the the last two words of this site, it is adultfanfiction, it is not adultswritestories, but fanfiction. The words mean the writers can write whatever they want whether or not to remain true to the series that they are writing about or go another way with the series.

To my sis, I love it. It is exactly what you told me over the phone. Cannot wait for the next chapter to come out. :-)