The Noble Sort

A/N: As usual, all the important information is lurking in the notes of the first two parts.

I'm uploading the two scheduled chapters today, but I'm also planning on uploading another Monday (Monday's will be two chapters for AFF, actually). Due to the fact that there is an extra, shall we say, mature chapter that cannot be posted everywhere, I'm going to get them out early so that the next update keeps to the normal two chapter schedule. When I do update Monday I'll make sure to tell you how to get to the missing Chapter 18, for those who are old enough and want to read it and not on AFF.

For those on AFF, yes, that means the, erm, sexy bits will be up Monday.

Enjoy!

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"The Noble Sort"

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He had left, finally, a little over a half an hour ago.

He had sat in her tent for almost an hour, making both of them uncomfortable. The tenuous friendly camaraderie they had gained in Seireitei was destroyed with her being on her own turf. She had the upper hand and was back to normal.

Mostly.

Well, as normal as she ever got. There were so many "Minako's" at this point she wasn't sure who she really was, although she had an idea that the real her involved bits and pieces of each of the personalities she had taken on.

Her heart was still pounding a little faster than normal, and she could have sworn she was blushing at some point during that weird little visit. It was ridiculous for someone over five-hundred years old to be acting like this.

She buried her face in her pillow, sighing loudly.

Go ahead and kill me, shishi.

Put you out of your misery?

She turned her head and saw the dog's giant head raise, his eyes shining in hopefulness.

Sure. Go all out.

Instead of a bite, or even a good tackle, she ended up with a large tongue laving the side of her head, her ear, and part of her hair. She swiped at the area quickly, disgusted when her hand came back in front of her covered in dog drool.

Hella nasty, you scoundrel.

I aim to please.

She could hear the smugness in his voice, and smacked the back of his head. He just snorted and lay back down beside her, sidled up to her. He was a full-body-heater, and it felt good.

She turned on the small futon, bringing her arm up and over the black furry mess. He was always so warm and comfortable, much like a giant teddy bear. She would never, under any circumstances, call him such, though.

But after the past week, she would admit to a sense of wonder at how long she was able to resist calling him out of the stupid sword form. It had been almost a month before they had found her. Was she really that—that depressive usually?

She would never do it again, that was for sure. Not only did he deserve time out, she enjoyed it.

What has you moping, onna?

She glared at him.

I'm not moping, shishi.

Oh, really?

The doubt was obvious.

How did I manage to fall for the one person who is: 1, nothing like me, 2, way too soft for me, and 3, way too moral for me. Oh, and 4, my uncle's former student, which he's very close to.

He snickered in her mind.

You have a love for things you aren't supposed to do. You figure it out.

She resisted the urge to smack him again, instead scrubbing her hand over her face.

I haven't even kissed the man and I'm head over heels.

They both snorted in her mind this time, and both were mocking her pathetic-ness. There was really no other way to describe the situation she found herself in. She knew it, he knew it, and she was sure there would be plenty of fodder for his jokes from here on out because of it.

You poor onna.

You just want to bite him. How am I ever supposed to get close enough to kiss him then?

The black dog rose up on the futon, his eyes locking onto hers. He looked gravely affronted; it was most likely an act, she knew.

I would never!

Oh?

No. He smiled. I would bite him after.

She sweatdropped at the amount of insane pride evident in his tone.

"You need therapy, shishi."

He snorted, the air blowing her hair around as he settled back into position, nudging himself under one of her arms.

No, you need therapy. I'm just a reflection of you. Imagine how crazy the whole is.

She did smack him, that time.

Anyway, shishi, how do you think—

"Eh, Minako-san, you in there?"

She closed her eyes, sighing. It would figure.

"Yes, Urahara! Come on in."

He stepped into the small tent, somehow managing to keep his strange presence going even though he was stooped over to avoid bumping his head. He looked ridiculous, although still handsome.

She would give Yoruichi that much—the man was handsome. He had to be killer to look at when they were in bed. And he was smart enough for it to probably be interesting. Even if he was seriously imbalanced.

There are some things, Minako, that even you should not contemplate. I don't want the mental image.

She snorted mentally.

And he was covered in bandages—at least, his face was. It made her stomach jump in delight.

"How are you feeling, U-ra-ha-ra?" she asked mischievously.

"Fine, fine, Minako! Ah," he scratched his head, glancing around, "well, my head hurts. But I'll be fine."

His hat rose a scant inch, and his eyes glowed in the dark shadow of the brim. She felt her body stiffen as she recognized the change his personality was about to undergo—it still freaked her out when he did it.

"You could have warned us, though."

She shrugged, grinning.

"Payback," she said simply.

"Nani? For what?"

"Don't act shocked," she said, pushing herself into a sitting position on the futon despite Hidaruma's rumbling at the end of their cuddle session, "I've heard about my kittens. If they're hurt…"

"Perfectly fine! Just testing out some equipment for me."

She nodded slowly, not believing him.

"Tessai will tell me the truth later, you realize."

He just nodded quickly, like a hyperactive bobble head.

"And the bushes, Minako? You destroyed the lovely environment I have created!"

"I felt like it," she said, an impishness reminiscent of Yoruichi coming out in her.

He sweatdropped.

Can I bite him?

She briefly considered answering in the affirmative but fought down the evil impulse. They were coming more and more often, now that she was in the human world. She was getting back to normal, then. That sweetness that had been coming out in Seireitei was finally melting back into the periphery.

"Ne, Minako," he said, moving to sit on the small mat she had set up by her little tea table, "I have obviously not come all the way down here to talk about your pets. Or my bushes."

"Did you come down here so shishi could bite you? He's asked about it a few times now."

He giggled briefly and shook his head. She could have sworn, though, there was an evil, intent-laden glare directed at the dog beside her in there, too.

"Well, then? What's up?"

He looked at her, his face serious, and she felt an ominous tension come over her body. Whenever he got serious they were all in trouble.

Especially if he was giving out information, something he seemed to be doing regularly.

"You have two days. We have just been informed."

She felt her stomach drop. Two days.

Two days to figure out how to get all the seals ground level, in the correct formation, and stable long enough for her to go into bankai.

Fuck.

"A little under, actually. They want everything set up that morning, and then you will be transported to Seireitei, where you will wait for news from a communicator. Your uncle's fuku-taichou will notify you in time to get the barrier up."

Fuck.

"We don't want the barrier going up too early; otherwise, it will have been for nothing."

He stared at her, their eyes meeting.

"So," he said, snapping his fan open, "you have tomorrow, really."

How does he look so serene telling you this shit, onna?

It's a mystery of the universe, shishi. None of us know how he ticks.

"Tomorrow."

"Indeed, Minako."

"I have one day."

"Hai," he said, his tone too happy-go-lucky for her own tastes.

Fuck.

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The sixth seal, now fully materialized and trying to form a barrier, flickered out of existence and the entire thing snapped and bowed like a breaking ship, bursting outward with a rush of force. The barrier lines even looked like rigging snapping.

She felt herself once again tumbling through the sand before coming to a stop near a small boulder, except she had actually managed to hold on to her zanpakutou this time, a rarity. She must have clenched her hands so tightly when she felt it give way that she hadn't dropped the damn thing for once.

Which was a good thing, really.

But their latest idea hadn't worked either. All she had to show for it were new wounds mingling with the old ones, which had ripped open the last time she had managed to blow herself up.

"Goddamnit, shishi, this is useless!" she screamed, flinging the sword across the open area in front of her.

She could him shrieking profanities at the treatment in her mind but ignored it.

"If we can't do this, we'll have to use bankai before, which means we can't control all the variables. We have to get this!"

She heard the blade make a clanking noise as it finally collided with something, but she didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse right now. It wasn't working, still, and they had too little time to be worrying about this.

She dropped like sack of potatoes to the sand beneath her, bones and joints creaking in protest. Her hands came up to cover her face, and she sighed.

The tears were gonna start soon, and then she would feel like a total moron. This was all ridiculous.

She could hear him barking at her, now, and running towards her.

It was almost four in the morning, which meant they had around twenty-four hours to finish this, rest, and be ready to go for the, as shishi was now calling it, uber-awesome-battle-of-doom. She knew that if they made it out alive he would never get to watch television ever again, that was for sure.

He was just trying to lighten the mood, she knew. She just had no appreciation for it at the moment.

They had been up too long, expended too much energy. It was making them both jumpy and reactive—not a good thing, ever.

You have to get them level. Perfectly level. Then they can connect.

She raised her head up out of her hands and gave him a look of consternation.

Duh!

The look didn't stay long, though. His fur was mottled and matted, with patches missing, and he was definitely looking as bad as she was. It made her feel somewhat better; if he had come out of it looking as pretty and perfect as normal, she might have ripped his ears off.

Instead, she felt some pity for how bad he looked. Her poor puppy…

He snorted before turning in place, pushing an area of sand down until it was perfectly level. Finally he lay down in his makeshift bedding.

Do not snap at me. I am tired, too. And you throw me one more time—

What will you do, huh?

I'll bite you, onna.

There was a dark gleam in his eyes, and she suddenly had the epiphany that he might actually bite her, even if it wasn't hard enough to hurt.

The first five are now easy to pull out. It is the sixth—the final seal—that is the problem. You must stop letting the pain get to you and call it out quickly so you can get the release done. It's the only way.

Easier said than done, shishi.

I know. I feel it too, remember?

She looked down at the ground, making an attempt to count the numerous sand grains. It would take her mind off the failure of everything they had attempted so far, and hopefully let her think of something that would work.

Five days. It was essentially what they had been given.

It had taken months to get bankai, and then years to fully understand how to utilize the barrier. But she had five days to fully rework the thing. Oji-san was asking for a miracle she couldn't seem to give him.

You can, you're just not trying.

What?

You heard me. Put some backbone into it, onna.

I have been. I'm blowing myself up on a regular basis, shishi.

There is more there, you are just afraid to actually use it.

She looked at him sideways.

And if I end up losing control? If we go into that form on accident now we're useless for the main event. You and both know that. I can't risk it.

I can keep it at bay. Hold it back long enough for you to get it right.

You think you can. What if you're wrong?

I'm not.

She looked at him then, finally asking the question that had been in the back of her mind all along.

What if Yoruichi is right? What if someone will have to be able to—

I don't trust any of them that far, Minako. You should not either. We do this alone or not at all.

She sighed. He was right. They needed to do this alone or it wouldn't work.

She stood, her vision blurring momentarily as her tiredness overcame her willpower. It was getting harder to attempt, but she wasn't leaving until it was done. Once they figured it out they could go home and rest up. She was finally standing, the vertigo passing after the landscape did a strange slide in her vision.

"Back in form, doggie."

He snorted at her but did as she asked, and she picked up the blade from the ground.

She pulled the sword out of the sheath, securing the black sheath on her belt, and began again.

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It was past lunchtime before they succeeded.

Hidaruma had been keeping a mental tally of the many times they had pulled out the sixth seal—somewhere around 30 at this point—and neither of them had expected to get it right this time.

But somehow, they managed it. Finally.

They had been working at full power to stabilize the barrier, something she had initially feared attempting due to the fact that it was a main trigger for their loss of control. But he had been able to ward off any sign of it by keeping them steady and their heartbeat below 150 beats per minute. It was still high, but that was expected with what they were attempting.

Too much adrenaline.

But shishi was able to hold it back, which meant she had just enough time to get the release word out. Once they had gotten that far, it became almost too easy.

The barrier snapped into place, and just like that, they were done. Once the connections were made, the barrier stopped fighting them. It just sat there, finally in the—somewhat lopsided—shape they were trying for.

After allowing the barrier to collapse—the important thing being that she had allowed its collapse after the release word was said—she jumped in glee and was caught in the backlash of the barrier's explosion. She had to remember to mentally control that last part—it was a learning process. She blew herself up, but it was worth it.

They had finally managed to form the full barrier. It wasn't the best, and it wasn't what anyone would call truly stable, but it would hold long enough for them to do what they had to do when the time came. It was all that mattered at this point.

Now, if they could be sure it was able to enlarge…but that wasn't really needed. If she could mark where the seals would need to form, it would be alright. She wouldn't have to manually maneuver their positions at all. Or she could manually set it after going into bankai. It didn't matter.

Once again her rest in the sand was interrupted by the sound of the hatch opening, although there was no head poking through. She only saw Yoruichi's legs as she began the descent into the Urahara-Underworld. The dark woman sped over to her resting spot as soon as she dropped to the ground, not wasting any time at all.

"What the hell was that?"

She looked up at her, grinning.

"The full barrier."

Yoruishi stopped a foot away, shock on her face.

"Are you serious?"

Her words were hopeful, although there was a definite measure of doubt there.

"Sure. It took a little modification, but it's done."

Yoruichi gave her a look, one she recognized from the time the woman had been a taichou. It had frequently been used to get information out of her subordinates.

It wasn't gonna work.

"Help me up."

She reached a hand up and Yoruichi grabbed it quickly, jerking her up out of the sand. They stood there, side by side, surveying the destruction that had been wrought by the multitude of explosions, one woman as beautiful as ever and one looking like a refugee from a war zone.

"Think it's good enough? I've got enough in me for one more…"

Yoruich turned toward her and grinned.

"It's perfect. It'll take him weeks to get it back to normal."

They both smirked, evilly.

"So what now?" Yoruichi asked her, foot kicking at the sand.

She closed her eyes. They were both pretty sure they weren't living through the next day, even if they had been trying to ignore it. They had been prepared for that eventuality for years, but now that it was here, it felt like the time had flown.

Yoruichi would most likely be spending the night with her boy toy, but Minako's plans were a little less social.

"Hopefully some rest. And a very long bath." She gave her friend a small smile. "And a night in my own bed. Not that I don't appreciate Ururu's thoughtfulness, but I want something other than a futon. Badly."

"And—" she stopped, glancing at her friend for just a minute before turning back to the scene of devastation in front of them, "perhaps a visit or two. I have just enough time left to wreak some havoc before I go."

Yoruichi just laughed.

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She had accomplished many of her goals on the "Last Day of My Life" list. She had taken a very long, very hot bath at a public spa down from her apartment. An hour of soaking in the hot water had relaxed her to the point of feeling like jelly. She made a quick stop by her favorite sushi place, also located in her own neighborhood, and picked up her favorites. It was eaten quickly, her body craving nourishment after the last few days, but the enjoyment was still there.

Finally she headed home about four that afternoon. She cut her hair, changed clothes, took care of her phone calls, voicemails, e-mails, and the electronic correspondence that had to be completed before tomorrow—there were actually quite a few shinigami that hid in the human world, many of whom were waiting for the chance to sneak out of hiding and watch the fight.

They would be support in certain instances, although they would most likely stay hidden from prying eyes. Four of them, somewhat close to her, were going to be in Karakura the next morning, ready to help place markers of some sort for her seals if she needed it. She was truly appreciative of their help, although she knew they wouldn't deny it if she asked for it. They had been the only exiles she had ever placed. Just about everyone went to Urahara, but from there they were usually sent to other exiles or runaways that would help them find jobs and places to live. These had been her children on this little underground system and they were fully prepared to help her, even if it meant allowing shinigami to see them.

After contacting Akane with all the small details—she would be able to disseminate the information—she contemplated finally getting some rest. Her body was worn out, she knew, but the adrenaline and anticipation gearing her up for the fight the next day wouldn't allow her to sleep. Plus, there were other things she felt she needed to take care of, just in case this was her last day alive.

She grabbed Hidaruma and stuck the sword through the belt in her jeans, hooking the hilt on the black leather. She grabbed keys, her cell phone, and her small wallet, all she really needed right now, and headed out.

There were just too many things to do to sleep right now.

Thankfully she was able to grab a taxi fairly quickly, and traffic, for once, didn't interfere with her trip. They made it across town in less than an hour, which was unusual for six in the evening in Karakura. She paid the fare—tipping generously—and stood on the sidewalk, staring up at the building in front of her. In the purple light of early night she could see a light on in the kitchen window, but she didn't move to the building's entrance.

You sure about this, onna?

It has to be handled, shishi. You know that.

She sighed, running her hand through her newly-cut hair. She didn't know exactly what she would say, but it had to be done. Just in case.

She glanced both ways down the street, seeing no cars headed towards her, and started across the road.

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A/N: Nothing here that isn't explained in the previous chapter. Just remember, there's an extra update Monday. Then we're at the final battle with Aizen and the beginning of the second arc of the story.

And R & R, please! It makes my day!

(And a very nice shout-out to Wendy on AFF; the e-mail has totally helped restore the muses!)