Simple Like Tea

Chapter 20 - Home


Renji came to slowly, consciousness starting with only the awareness of the dull aches all over his body. His injuries. He tried to flex his fingers and toes, and while they were stiff and sore, they responded. His throat felt like he’d been licking sand for a week. How long had he been out?

Hesitantly, cautiously, he opened his eyes. The room he was in was unfamiliar, but he assumed it was somewhere in the fourth division’s quarters. At least now he knew he wasn’t dead. It seemed far too anticlimactic to be death. He sighed. He couldn’t remember much of the fight.

“You’ve come a long way since the last time you fought me.”

Renji stiffened. Something was tickling his memory now. “You still defeated me. I’m not even strong enough to protect…” He blinked. The memory came back. He shot up in his bed, turning to glare at the captain seated beside him on the chair, ignoring the sharp and painful protests of his body. “Where is she?!”

Byakuya sighed and looked away. “Home.”

“So…” he gripped the hospital sheets in his fists, fighting the lump in his throat. “You… married her?”

Again Byakuya sighed. “No. I sent her home.”

***

“Stop!” Reiko wasn’t sure what she was thinking. She wasn’t even sure she was thinking at all at this point. But the torment had gone on long enough. She couldn’t stand it anymore, these two men tearing each other apart like this. Because of her. All because of her. Hadn’t she caused enough pain in her life? It seemed like such a short life to inflict so much harm on the people in it.

So if she had died while trying to stop the madness, it would have been fitting. She would not have regretted it. Somehow, miraculously, the sparkling mist of blades didn’t kill her, and she reached her target with nothing more major than a few bleeding cuts. She threw herself into Byakuya’s chest, gripping the cloth of his tattered captain’s robe.

“Enough!”

Miraculously, he had stopped, looking down at her with wide disbelieving eyes. “Reiko-san?”

“Enough, Byakuya-sama! You’re killing him!” His eyes flickered back to the bloody mass that had been Renji and he seemed to clench his teeth.

“He deserves his just punishment. For everything he’s done.”

“No more, Byakuya-sama. Please. No more.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly then, and he slowly responded, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her hair.

“This is madness. Everything is madness.” His voice was distant, disbelieving.

“I know. It’s all my fault. I’m so sorry.”

“No, this isn’t your fault. This is… all mine. My fault. I was proud and so certain I was doing the right thing. I was so sure I was doing what needed to be done. Everything else, all the emotional casualties were just… the price that had to be paid. I was a fool. I stole your life out of foolish paranoia, and then I wanted to keep it out of selfishness. I wanted to keep you here with me.” He wrapped his arms more tightly around her waist. “I didn’t think you would say yes if you had the choice.”

Her mind spun. What was he saying? What did it mean? “The choice?” She had no choice!

His hands were on her face suddenly, and he was pushing her hair out of her face, gazing at her with an intensity that made her blush. He kissed her temples, sighed, and shook his head. “I should tell you… what I’ve done.”

***

“Byakuya-san, a word if you please.” Byakuya haltingly turned to face the source of the summons. Genichi stood stooped over his cane, his eyes suspiciously trained on Byakuya. Almost as though he knew what he had just done with Reiko in the other room. Byakuya fought the irrational fear.

“I’m in a hurry, Genichi-dono. Can this wait?”

The elder shook his head. “I’ll only need a minute of your time. Please, if you will follow this way…” The elder turned and began to walk back in the direction Byakuya had just come from, not turning to see if Byakuya followed. He briefly considered slipping away, but his body was already following. He ground his teeth in frustration. This would undoubtedly be a lecture on his bride. Still, the thought of her becoming his bride filled his heart with warmth and anticipation. If there had to be a bride, he was glad it would be her. He was surprised he could admit that now, even to himself, but there it was. He wanted to marry her.

Genichi finally stopped inside a small sitting room, one without a terrace, that was often a rendezvous for secret lovers because of its separation from the rest of the house and the privacy offered by its one small window. Byakuya followed with trepidation, sliding the door shut behind him with an impending sense of doom building in his shoulders. Silently, he took a seat opposite the elder, waiting for whatever it was that was coming. It couldn’t be good.

“The elders and I were… baffled by your choice in bride. Yet again. You’ve taken the opportunity for advancement and squandered it on a nobody. Why, Byakuya-san, why do you choose such a lacking prospect? Is it just to defy us?” Genichi clenched his wrinkled fists, glaring at Byakuya with accusation in his sunken eyes.

Byakuya narrowed his eyes in return. “The elders are too power hungry. The Kuchiki house is powerful, more powerful than most houses dream of becoming. Why do you always seek advancement? Noble house politics should stay out of the Gotei 13.”

Genichi’s eyebrows rose. “The Gotei 13?”

Finding in himself a wealth of calm, Byakuya nodded once. “You want me to father the next commander of the Gotei 13. That’s why you were so eager to marry me off to a captain. Powerful children, the next head of the Kuchiki clan the commander of the protection squads. Utter control and dominion. It’s out of the question.”

Genichi’s eyes were amused now. “Is that so? Pity that won’t happen, then. I’m afraid, however, that you’ve misconstrued our motives, Byakuya-san.” The elder motioned at the room, a broad expansive gesture that encompassed the entire household, maybe even the whole of the Kuchiki grounds. “I have been on the council of elders for almost a hundred years. I have watched them squander opportunity after opportunity. Did you know that your fellow captain Soi Fong refused a betrothal to your cousin Yukio-san?”

Byakuya swallowed once before responding. “No, I hadn’t heard.” Kuchiki Yukio was older than Byakuya, and far more diplomatic. He was also of a calm and dignified bearing, someone he would have thought would suit Soi Fong if he had ever thought about it before. That she refused him was more than just somewhat surprising. A lower branch noble like herself would not find a better offer of marriage anywhere.

“She said he was weak,” Genichi went on, his tone expressing his anger and frustration at the statement, but also his exasperation with Yukio. “She said she could never wed a man weaker than she herself was. And while she is nothing but a lower branch member of the Fon family, it is the one family we cannot seem to… communicate with in any way. She couldn’t have refused you on the same basis as she refused Yukio. Your marriage to her would have improved ties with the entire Fon clan. There is much that can be gained by such an alliance, not to mention the indirect link it would establish to her lieutenant, Omaeda.”

Byakuya swallowed again. He was finding it hard to think, to rationalize why he had started this chain reaction in the first place.

“Unohana Retsu, however,” the elder went on, looking at his gnarled cane where he had set it before him, “seems to have involved herself in some sort of romantic relation with some human fellow named Ishida. We assumed she would be your first choice, that if you approached her she would gently but firmly refuse your offer, and you would be left with no choice but to pursue the second division captain. The more restricted we made your options, the more likely this course of action seemed to be. We could not have anticipated that you would find some ordinary human girl. We did not think you would try so hard to find your… loophole.” He said the word with distaste, shaking his head tiredly. “But you were fighting some secret mission inside you all along, weren’t you Byakuya-san? Always one for theatrics. Your mind presented you with a slew of evil plots to counter by defying us in this one last thing. Was it a move to gain power? Yes, it certainly was, but you are the head of the Kuchiki clan, Byakuya-san. It would appear that you still don’t understand what that means.”

Byakuya stared in disbelief. That was it? The sinister plot to rule the Seireitei was… nothing? He thought again. There had to be more! There had to be some great disaster he had averted by doing this! He thought of Reiko, accepting her fate with grace, with reason. The simple life she had left behind. The mother she had just found. The love that could have been with his lieutenant. All of it wasted, taken away. She would never have any of it now. To save the balance of power in his world, it had seemed a fair price. To deflect ties with the Fon family, it seemed a pitiful, hateful waste.

But could he now, knowing what he knew, carry on with her? Could he marry her tomorrow, bed her and raise children with her, knowing that her life had been wasted in vain? He didn’t want to spend his life without her, not now that he knew what having her in his life could be. His mind presented him with a future; he saw her standing under a shower of sakura blossoms, one hand delicately cradling the swell of her belly through her yukata. A beautiful young boy would call out to her, to show her something he had found beside a log. She would go to him, carefully settling herself on her knees beside him to see what he had found. She would glow, like she had that night when the moon hit her face in just the right way. That future was so real, so possible and so close, he almost smiled to himself. She could make him happy, just by being.

But would she be happy if she knew? If she found out that in the end, it was just his overactive imagination that had stolen her from her previous life, not some noble cause? Would she be happy if every once in a while, she saw his lieutenant at public functions? If she had to speak to him pleasantly, as though he were anyone else? Byakuya had no delusions. Abarai Renji was important to her. How important? And for how long would he remain important? And would a woman like Reiko ever have an affair?

“Genichi-dono,” he still sounded as calm and steady as he ever did, and he was glad. “You could have just told me. I have never stood in the way of what could benefit the Kuchiki clan.”

Genichi sighed, looking up from his cane to finally meet Byakuya’s eyes. “You are a stubborn man, Byakuya-san. If the elders had given you a command to marry Soi Fong, would you really have accepted so easily?” Byakuya knew it was a rhetorical question, but he forced himself to think the answer. No, he would have been defiant to the end. Genichi seemed to read it in his eyes and he sighed and shook his head tiredly. Suddenly, Byakuya was aware of just how old the elder was. “It was easier to give the illusion of choices. We never dreamed you would… Well, it’s too late to change that now. The wedding has been arranged. Your bride is being prepared as we speak. Once again, you will have your way.”

There was no clear dismissal, but Byakuya took it as one anyway. He nodded once, then rose to his feet and silently left the room.

***

“Byakuya-sama…”

She bit her lip and his heart raced. Swallowing his foolish emotions, he nodded to her. She could do this.

The teahouse was dark with the exception of a light on in the top floor window, coming from the room she had called home for so long. But even dark, nothing ever looked more inviting to Reiko. She had thought she would never see this place again. She had thought she would never be able to. Now she was returning. Byakuya-sama was bringing her home.

She swallowed. And that light on, she knew what it meant. Akira was up there. The only man she had ever truly loved. The man she had wanted a life with, once. He was up there, probably wondering where she was, or what she was doing, or what he was going to do now with this mess she had left him. The thought of seeing him again made her heart race. Would he want her again now when he didn't want her all those years ago?

“You don’t know how much…” she swallowed a large lump in her throat, unable to continue. How would she ever thank this beautiful wonderful powerful man for giving her life back to her?

He placed a hesitant hand on her shoulder and felt electricity shoot up his arm. “Please don’t thank me.” He was disgusted with himself. Disgusted with himself for the bandages wrapped around her arms and the small scar she would always have under her right eye because of him. Disgusted with himself for the dark shadows under her eyes because of sleepless nights spent crying because of him. Disgusted with himself for the small but loud part of him that still wanted to take her in his arms and run her back to his home, beg her to be his bride and the mother of his children. He was a truly disgusting man. He didn’t deserve her thanks. He didn't even deserve her proximity.

Unexpectedly, she threw her arms around his waist, and he suppressed a groan of agony. Her scent washed over him, and he wondered if she knew just how great an effect she had on his senses. On his heart, which now hammered so hard in his chest he was in danger of cracking a rib. Her warmth was torture in his arms. “I’ll never forget you,” she whispered fervently into his shoulder. “Never! You were so special to me.”

He smiled bitterly. Already it was in the past tense. She probably didn’t even realize what she’d said. How she’d said it. “I’ll never forget you, either.” And he never would.

He never did.

***


END



AN/ I'm bad. I'm so so bad.

I know a great deal of you may hate me for it, and sure, I suppose you're justified. But having written about five different potential endings for the story, I know this one was the only RIGHT one. I may throw up an epilogue later, if there's a lot of curiosity about loose ends, but if I don't get reviews asking to know I won't bother. I like the ending, and it was agonizing and hard getting there but it feels like the right path.

Those that have reviewed, you're endlessly awesome. I know I've already said that (a lot) but it still feels like it doesn't get said enough.

Those that haven't reviewed, you're awesome, too - though not as awesome lol - and I'm really glad you read my story. Knowing that people like my writing makes me so happy, I can't even begin to describe the feeling.

Signing off and thanking you all (again!) I say bye now. Bye!