Like a Tiger Treading on the Flowers

This one is for Aka Tonbo.

Summery: It’s a KenpachixIchigo crack story where Ichigo has a crush on Kenpachi and tries to confess to him, but Ken is oblivious to his efforts. Rukia, Yoruichi, Urahara, and Orhime all try to hook them up, but fail. In the end Ichigo goes to Tatsuki for help, and oh boy, does she help. There is also going to be a lemon in this one!!!

You and Me, Baby: Part 1/3

He has to work out. Ichigo thought as he watched Kenpachi spar with Urahara. Nobody can have that nice of a body and not work out. Although, all the fighting he did probably had something to do with it. Yeah…Kenpachi was pleasantly oblivious of Ichigo staring at him and drooling as he sparred with Urahara. Kenpachi was in Karakura town on guard for arrancars and was staying at Urahara’s place. Ichigo came by to talk with sandals and hat about something when he saw them sparring. He just had to watch, Kenpachi was so fucking hot right now.

Yoruichi snickered as she watched Ichigo drooling over Kenpachi. Ooh! Fun idea! Hook Ichigo and Kenpachi up! There wasn’t anything going on right now in Karakura town and she was sure Urahara would love to join in. She smiled broadly as Ichigo watched wide-eyed as Kenpachi took off his shirt and threw it to the side before attacking Urahara again. Besides, Ichigo was so cute crushing on Kenpachi!

Ichigo was calmly walking home with his bag slung over his shoulder when he was suddenly tackled while a bag was shoved over his head and someone clasped his hands together with something. Ichigo gave a muffled curse and tried to kick out, but his legs were also incapacitated. While violently struggling, Ichigo felt his moved at great speed, rushing off to an unknown destination. How the hell did he let this happen?

After a few minutes he was thrown onto a hard surface and the bad was yanked off of his head. He stared up at his captor who was…Yoruichi!?

“Hello, Ichigo!” She crooned and chucked him under the chin with her hand.

“What the fuck!?” Ichigo screamed and tried to wiggle out of his binds.

“We’re going to interrogate you!” She said enthusiastically.

“Interro- wait, ‘we’?!”

“Yes!” She slid open the door to the room and Rukia, Orhime and Urahara came tumbling in.

“What the hell is going on!?” Ichigo was so confused, and pissed. It wasn’t comfortable having both your hands and your feet bound together.

“Interrogation!” Orhime said in her ‘mean voice.’ And slapped an imaginary glove into one of her hands. “We will get you to talk!”

“Er…” Ichigo said, not knowing what to make of it. Rukia took this as a sign of rebellion and grabbed her Chappy the Bunny light and shined it into his eyes.

“Will you cooperate with us, I-chi-go?” She said, drawing the name out.

“Yes, for gods sake! Get that bloody light out of my eye.” Ichigo grumbled.

“Now, now Kurosaki-Kun. There is no need to get angry.” Urahara said soothingly.

“So, tell us Ichigo…” Yoruichi said in a low voice, “Do you have a crush on Kenpachi?”

Silence met the question for a few moments as Ichigo stared at them blankly.

“What!?” Ichigo said loudly, and struggled even harder to get out of his binds, blushing madly.

The others laughed at his predicament. “We have ways of making you talk!” Orhime said threateningly, and reached into her purse. Ichigo’s eyes widened as she slowly pulled out… a feather!? Oh shit!

5 minutes later, Ichigo was screaming with laughter and begging them to stop tickling him. “Alright! Yes, I do have a crush on him! Are you happy!?” Ichigo managed between breaths and finally the evil feather retreated.

“Yes!” Rukia said, and released him finally. He promptly tried to attack them but Yoruichi tackled him and pinned his arms behind his back.

“Oh-hoh!” She chortled. “That’s not a nice thing to do to someone who is trying to help!”

A pause me this exclamation. “What?” Ichigo asked, very confused at this point.

Urahara knelt by his head, which was currently squished into the ground, and bopped him on the head with his fan. “Of course, Kurosaki-kun! We only want the best for you. And a little entertainment.” Ichigo glared as best as he could in this position.

“…How are you going to help?” Yoruichi let him up and he scrambled to stand, stretching his twisted joints.

“We are going to help you get Kenpachi, of course!” Responded Orhime.

“Get him?”

“Don’t be naive, Ichigo! We will help you seduce him!” Ichigo blanched and backed up a little, splaying his hands in front of him as though it would ward them off.

“Whoa, wait a minute!”

“What’s wrong, Ichigo? Scared?” Rukia taunted.

“Shut up!” Ichigo growled back. “I’m not scared!”

“Then you won’t have any problems letting us help you, right?” Urahara said with his fan hiding his sadistic smile.

“…”

“Come on, Kurosaki-Kun! You can do it!” Orhime said and shot her fist into the air.

“All right…” Ichigo said, feeling very backed into the wall, and wondering what exactly Kenpachi was going to do to him when he found out about Ichigo trying to seduce him. Hopefully Ichigo will still be in once piece…

“Commence, Operation Strawberry get Ken!” Orhime said and gave a little salute to no one in particular.

“I’m not Strawberry…” Ichigo mumbled.

“What’s wrong, don’t you want Kenpachi to ‘eat you’…” Rukia said suggestively and wiggled her eyebrows.

Ichigo spluttered, making Urahara and Yoruichi laugh to themselves.

“I’m sure Kenpachi wouldn’t do anything that mean to Ichigo!” Orhime said with wide eyes. Everyone else sweat dropped as she totally missed the innuendo.

Maybe it won’t be so bad, Ichigo mused. Maybe even Kenpachi would like him back. Oh, if Ichigo only knew what those four had in store for him.

SPACE

Hah! So how do you guys like it? Can you guess what they are going to make Ichigo do? This was so fun to write, I wanted to put more in this chapter, but it just wouldn’t work. Please review, I love you guys!

I won’t be updating for a few days because I’m driving down the Alcan, but I will get more up as soon as I can!