Freeloader

Renji was many things; vice captain, fun-lover, practical joker, drinker. Those labels he didn’t mind, in fact he was downright proud of them. There was however one label he didn’t like. One label that, when applied to him made him feel both angry and ashamed and unfortunately, he had been hearing it more and more lately. That label was ‘freeloader’.

Renji wasn’t a freeloader. Throughout his life he had worked for everything he had. From his impoverished childhood taking whatever work was necessary to provide food, to struggling to get through his lessons at the academy and rising through the ranks to his current position. He was by no means afraid of hard work in return for life’s necessities and that was why it grated on his nerves so much to be called a freeloader.

Urahara was the worst. Renji barely knew the man, but he knew enough to realize that if Urahara really though of him as a freeloader, he should probably do something to repay the man if only to get rid of the label. That was why Renji found himself in the position he was in; wearing a pink frilly dress, carefully braiding his hair into pigtails.

It had all begun with his decision to prove to Urahara that he was absolutely, definitely not a freeloader. He had cornered Urahara in the back shop and demanded the man see to it that he and his employees, friends, cohorts – whatever they were! – stopped calling Renji a freeloader. Urahara responded that he would be happy to, as soon as Renji could provide some evidence to the contrary.

“Like what?” enquired Renji.

“Simple,” replied Urahara. “Just do whatever I ask of you and we can consider all debts, both current and future to be paid in full.”

“Fair enough.” and so Renji listened as Urahara spelled out his request. When the man got to the end of his list of wants, Renji quirked an eyebrow at Urahara, trying to work out whether the man was joking or not.

“I’m serious, Renji.”

“Well…fuck!”

The exchange was followed by a lot of puzzlement on Renji’s part, a frantic shopping trip with Yumichika – who promised not only to keep Renji’s secret but would also give him some handy make up tips – and a whole lot of trepidation, again on Renji’s part.

That was how Renji ended up cross-dressing, wearing strawberry lip-gloss, had shaved his legs and tied bows into neatly braided hair. He took a long look at his reflection, trying to steel himself for what was to come and hoping against all hope that it was all worth it. Now that he though about it, Renji realized he had no idea of what to expect. Urahara had only been explicit in his description of Renji’s dress and style, strangely failing to even hint at the intended outcome of all this preparation. Renji wasn’t naïve though, and fully expected that his current clothing and hairstyle were only a fraction of the payment he was expected to make. Urahara no doubt had a much more physical payment in mind. Not that Renji minded the though of bending over for Urahara. He hadn’t got laid in a while and well, they do say any port in a storm and this way, Renji would at least be killing two birds with one stone.

There were just a couple of things that remained for Renji to do. These were the most important parts – so Urahara said – of Renji’s task. He was to make himself comfortable in the dead centre of the bed, take the silky black blindfold that Urahara had provided and secure it over his eyes. When that was done, he was to announce his preparedness to Urahara and wait. It perhaps should have occurred to Renji far earlier than it did that maybe Urahara was a bit of a kinky bastard. It was only when he had made himself at home on the bed and was adjusting the blindfold that Renji realised he should probably be nervous.

“Okay, here goes,” Renji cleared his throat. He had memorised the script and prepared to repeat exactly what Urahara had told him to say. “Great lord and master of his household, I am ready and await the honour of having your presence in my bedchamber.”

Renji had done everything he had been instructed to do. Now, it was just a matter of waiting. So, he waited and while he waited his imagination conjoured up all sorts of possibilities. Would Urahara come to him in some sort of freaky bondage gear, ready to tie Renji up and spank his ass red raw? Perhaps he had invited some friends over and they would all take turns at violating him? Even worse, what if Urahara wanted to do something really kinky, like…like…

“What the fuck am I doing?” Renji whimpered and made to crawl off the bed when he heard the door open. It was too late to escape. All he could do was sit there and await whatever fate had in store for him. He heard the sound of someone walking into the room, followed by a loud exhalation. Then…was that a giggle? That didn’t sound like Urahara. It sounded more like a girl. Oh gods! Maybe Urahara had some really sick ideas about Renji and wanted him to screw that weird little girl that lived there. Enough was enough! Renji reached up and tore the blindfold from his face, blinked a couple of times and looked towards the door.

“I told you he’d do it.”

“Oh man, I can’t believe it. I wish I had a camera.”

“Hey Renji, you’re so pretty. Can I touch your hair?”

Renji groaned. He had been well and truly set up. Standing in the doorway were Urahara, Ichigo, Yumichika – which explained the girlish giggle - and Ikakku all grinning broadly and raking in their pockets. Urahara held out his hand and the other three each placed a wad of notes onto the upheld palm.

“Thank you gentlemen. Renji, consider all of your debts wiped. I promise, we will no longer call you a freeloader.” Urahara doffed his hat in Renji’s direction and laughed. Renji could only grind his teeth.

The end.