Underneath his Hands

This is part of a veeeeeery long AU story I have in my head, but since I don't know if I will ever get around to actually write it down completely I thought readers might enjoy it as oneshot, too.

appassionata, in case the question comes up, is a brilliant piano piece by Beethoven

Renji's POV

edit: thank you, yakumo for mentioning thing about the paragraphs. i hope its more comfortable to read now! ^^

Underneath His Hands


He's simply irresistible to me. And he knows it. There's no way he doesn't. He's too clever not to, and he's learned to scheme all his life so it's only logical he does it with me, too, right? Though I can never be sure, coz when I see him like that, like he was there that time, so open, so emotional, so vulnerable, it seems not like him. But damn, I can't make up my mind. Or maybe he really just forgot the time. He couldn't have been sure when I'd come to his place, not even, if I'd come. But I did, and when I opened the door and stepped into the narrow hall I already heard him play. I smiled. 'twas so cool he did that more often now, and didn't care much anymore, if I was around. I mean he'd been so friggin' locked up about that part of him at the start, thought it'd be impossible to ever just have him sit down and play.

But when I finally saw him playing then, too, my heart must've stopped for a sec. He sat on the white grand in that big ass, white living room of his, before the huge window that showed a glowing skyline in the dusk. No jacket, no tie (man, ya would've thought that guy was born in them), the sleeves of his shirt rolled up. His back was toward me as I stood in the door and could see how he moved with the music. How those narrow shoulders followed the motion of his hands and arms, how his head was cocked slightly but his back straight. I dunno what he played, no way I can remember all the names of those old composers who died long ago, though of course he played lotsa newer stuff too, and sometimes he just improvised. I didn't really care, I just knew it sounded absolutely brilliant. As I stepped closer, carefully not ta make too much noise, I could see how his fingers moved over the keys as if they were alive on their own. And he was so fast. It's a mystery to me how it's possible he can move them that fast, and not even look at them!

I took some more steps so I could see him from the side, but kept my distance so I would not disturb him, then hunkered down. Just please don't let him stop I thought, but it didn't seem as if he would. He was somewhere else entirely, that much was sure. His eyes were closed and his mimic was changing as he played, always with the music, with the tension and the release, with the fast and slower parts (I don't recall what they're called, he told me, but, hey....). His hair was open and fell softly over his shoulders, his light tan seemed to glow in the light; man, I so wanted my camera right now, but I didn't dare getting up to get it.

This was... holy. When had I ever seen him this peaceful? This satisfied? He was always so tense, so cold, so... I don't know, but right then he was probably more emotional than I'd ever seen him, and that even though he only played the piano, and that really doesn't allow for lotsa, ya know, action apart from the playing itself.

As I continued looking him up and down I noticed that his feet on the cold silver pedals where bare. I smiled. It reminded me of a movie he'd told me about. Can't recall so much of it, but I know he must have liked it, coz I even got him to describe me quite a big part of it. There was some woman, sometime 19th century I think, who loved to play the piano, and loved it so much, that after her husband had gotten rid of it, and sold it to another man, she went to that guy, to be let play. And he would let her, but when she played he would come closer, and make advances on her. She was enraptured in the music so much, that in some scene she didn't even stop when that man crawled under the piano and touched the bare skin on her ankle (yeah, 19th century, ya know, she was covered up really well). I found it funny, and kinda weird, when he told me about it, but somehow, now that I saw him play in front of me like that, it didn't seem so strange anymore. He was in his own world, as much as that woman in the movie. It must be an amazing feeling.

And god he was beautiful. I was getting really hot, felt it grow in me, the desire to be closer to him now, to hold him, have sex with him, but, shit, could I interrupt this? I dunno how long I sat there, just watching him before I really couldn't hold myself back anymore. I still couldn't say if he'd noticed me. He didn't show it, his eyes were still closed and he had not ceased in his play, had only got faster and more passionate. He leaned closer to the keys and his breathing had sped up, there were tiny drops of sweat on his forehead and his brows were pulled together tightly.

Passion, I though, and there, suddenly it came to me, the name of the piece he played. He must have changed into this without stopping in between, because I had not recognized what he played before. But this one I knew. After all, something we'd had such a huge fight about wasn't easy to forget.

Appassionata. Oh man, my breath caught in my throat and I got goosebumps all over.
He had noticed I was there, then, hadn't he?
If not, he would now. I just couldn't sit still anymore.

I stepped up behind him and knelt down, coming closer carefully, but not yet touching him. There were only centimeters between us, and I could feel the heat he radiated. It was curious, for his skin normally always seemed to be rather cool, especially his hands, but now he was burning. My heart beat fast and as I breathed deeply I was flooded by his own, amazing smell that had mixed with the one of sweat by now. I had to be careful not to come too close, because he moved with the music and a few times his back almost bumped against my chest.

I think his play got slower then, but truth be said, I didn't really hear the music anymore, I was too captivated by all of this. I could not keep my hands to myself any longer, but as I moved my arms around him, I did it gently, so I wouldn't interfere with the movement of his elbows. My hands came to rest on his abdomen and I shivered as I felt his fast breathing, the movement of his muscles under the thin cloth of his shirt. Man, I wanted him so much it hurt, but I knew I could not just pull him out of this, this was too precious. I came closer until my chest was up against his back, my lips over the soft hollow between his shoulder blades.

I would have liked to call out to him, but I didn't dare to say is name, hell, I wouldn't even have whispered it. I could only move my lips, repeating it over and over again silently while I pressed my face harder against his back. It must have been the touch, or the heat of my breath that made him tremble. I noticed it under my hands and against me, and finally the movement of his fingers on the keys became slower until it hesitantly stopped.

Then there was silence, except for the sound of both our breaths.
“Renji...” he finally said quietly, his voice hoarse. I almost jerked against him coz of the wave of desire this sent through me, and right into my groin. I moved my hands upwards over his chest and started to undo the buttons of his shirt while he leaned backwards into me slightly.

This musta been the first time he actually made it that easy for me. I mean he'd turned bitchy on me before, whenever I tried to start something on him, this was too good to be true. I had that shirt open in record time and could only sigh as I was allowed to feel his bare skin. I pressed him closely against me, lifted my head to bury it in his long, dark hair and roamed freely with my hands over his upper body until I knew I would burst if I didn't get more of him that instant. 't seemed he had the same feeling, because he finally took his hands off the keys and closed them around mine, lifting them up, so he could turn around. I shifted backwards to give him the space he needed, but closed in again, settling myself between his legs as soon as he sat towards me.

“Byakuya...,” I said, my voice all husky and pushed myself upwards to meet his opened lips, supporting myself deliberately as far up on his thighs as possible. He twitched as my thumbs met with where his pants were pulled tight over his erection and I could not help a small chuckle before he kissed me back so hard it took my breath away. He tastes so sweet it's always a real effort to stop kissing him, but I knew the sweetness would only continue further down. I moved my thumbs constantly now as I latched onto his neck, then collarbone. He started to shift softly, meeting me halfway. His breathing was ragged by now and he messed my hair with his hands, pulling part of it free from the tie. I only stopped once shortly on my way to look up into his face. His eyes were closed and his head bent towards me, his brows knitted, his lips parted; he was the most gorgeous sight, seriously. The only thing missing was to have him moan for me. It was almost impossible to get a noise like that from him, let alone a scream, but I was pretty sure my chances had never been as good as that day.

I sank back onto my heels and dipped my tongue into his navel, grinning as he tried to jerk back, but I was faster and kept him where he was with one of my hands at his lower back. With the other I resumed stroking him through his trousers and yes, that noise as his breath caught in his throat carried faintly with it that sound I so much wanted to hear. I knew that I myself was doing it already... moaning a bit, I mean. I've never been afraid to show when I like something, no idea what his problem was with that.
Believe me, I liked to do this. And I wanted more. Now.

There was some resistance though, as I started to undo his pants while my tongue already explored the skin right above the hem. His hands suddenly tightened in my hair and as turned my head upward I saw he was looking at me with a mix of shock, uncertainty and reluctance.
“Renji, that's...,” he started, but I had no intention of being interrupted now, so I finished the sentence for him: “... no, it's not disgusting. It's sexy, I like it and I wanna do it to ya, so just shut up'n enjoy.”
The time I needed to say that had been enough to get those trousers opened and, before he had the chance to hinder me, I had already pulled the hem of his briefs down as far as the limited space allowed me to and had taken him in my mouth.

I still start tremblin' even now when I remember his reaction. He suddenly tensed all over and threw his head back, and there, unable to be held back any longer was that moan I had sought so much. He clasped one hand over his mouth while the other fisted my hair and as I groaned in response, the vibration in my throat making him jerk violently, though he didn't let out the second moan that should have followed.

Ahh, he could be so stubborn. Why did he refuse to be heard so much? He did not like to play piano for an audience, he remained silent in a chat if he had the chance, he refused to let his voice be heard when I did what I did. I don't get it, but alright, I was already receiving much more than I had hoped for that day. Something was definitely up that he was this willing. But no time to ponder that now, really. I was getting quite desperate myself.

With the one hand that had become free, now that I had him in my mouth, I opened my own trousers to ease the pressure a bit. My other hand I left at his back, though, just in case he would make another attempt at pulling away, though it was apparent now that he liked what I did. He slowly rocked against me in the same rhythm with which I moved on him, and his hand slowly sank down from his mouth, not returning there even though he moaned softly once and then, mostly in response to the growls I produced in my throat on a few occasions.

Without actually noticing it I had started to stroke myself through my boxers, only realizing it as he leaned down, bending over me and reaching for that place himself, pushing my hand away, while his other had traveled down my back and was pulling up the hem of my shirt.
Good idea, actually.

I let him go for a second to pull the shirt over my head, but just as I wanted to return to that sweet place in his lap, he had slipped down from the bench and settled onto my thighs. Damn... I should have known. But alright, this wasn't so bad, either. His eyes caught on my tattoos for a moment (they always do, and I so like it) before he bend down to kiss me again. I moaned into his mouth, felt him shaking just as hard as I did, caressed his chest, sides, abdomen and sex, wishing I could be on all those places at the same time. He mimicked my actions on my own body and I broke the kiss, pulled him close to me, burying my head in his neck, rocking against his hand on pure instinct. I know I wouldn't last much longer, but how could I know if he would continue toward what I really wanted to do now as willingly as he had so far?

“Byakuya...” I breathed into his ear between soft moans, while I tried to ease those trousers farther down his hips, which was impossible since he sat on me, but I hoped he would get the hint.
“Byakuya... please...”
I kissed his neck, then licked at it, tasting a soft sheen of sweat over the skin.
There suddenly, he pushed himself away from me and stood up, taking a step to the side and then backwards. Was he... ending it? Now? He couldn't be serious!
„What? No, don't...“ I said and leaned forward to reach out for him, but he took another step back and then motioned for me, a finger over his lips, to be silent. I stopped midway and watched him intently, praying he was not messing with me. That would seriously have been a damn cruel thing to do right then.

But he didn't. Keeping his gray eyes on me all the while, he stepped out of his trousers and underwear, exposing his slim hips and limbs to my hungry eyes, as the light outside faded fast. Still he did not come back to me, and it took me some seconds 'til I finally understood that he waited for me to take my own trousers off as well. I pushed them from my legs as fast as possible, then sat back down, slightly cross-legged and reached out for him again.

His shirt still clung to his shoulders, but none of us really minded as he came back and sat down over me, legs parted, not pausing to push himself forward and into my embrace, making our erections meet. We moaned at the same time, he admittedly more quietly than I and I held him fast, one hand at his lower back to encourage his movement.

The whole thing was turning into quite a messy affair by now, but not that I would have complained. That would spare me having to interrupt this another time for getting something to prepare him. This would do, I decided as I pushed my right hand between our bodies to coat my fingers in plenty of both our pre-cum, then returned it to his back. I was careful and slow and I wondered if he'd really let me do this. He had sat down on me like this already, but you never knew with him, he might in the last instance still decide he was too good for this and make me take it instead. But he did not cease the thrusts even as my fingers already touched his entrance. He did not stop either, as I started to massage that ring of muscles gently and then eased one finger in slowly.
Holy shit, he was really letting me do this. The thought alone almost made me come and mess it all up right there. Almost.

I caught myself and moved on, meeting no resistance, but a slight clenching that went as fast as it had come. He pressed his face into my neck and held onto my shoulders tightly. He jerked as I inserted a second finger, not as careful this time, and felt him hesitating. No, love, I thought, too late for that now. I leaned back a bit and cupped his chin with my free hand, never ceasing the movement of my fingers though. He looked troubled, as I thought. His lips a tight line, his brows narrowed. It wasn't easy for him to submit to this role. I think 'tis nothing about pain, but the fact of somehow being at another person's mercy. He didn't rely on others ever, but had not been able to do anything against it as his feelings for me had turned stronger than his rational thoughts and he'd started to, in a way, rely on me.

“Trust me...” I whispered as I looked in his eyes and kissed him softly on the corner of the mouth. He breathed deeply, and then lifted himself up and off my fingers. I realized what he was about to do and my heart beat even faster than it did already, as he moved closer to me, taking hold of my erection with one hand so he'd be able to lower himself onto it.

It was so unbelievable, so amazing, and it all seemed to happen in slow motion. I felt him moving onto me, so tight, so hot, so agonizingly slow. I saw his face, how his expression tightened, how he opened his mouth to pull in a breath, yet did not make any noise. I felt his hands tighten on my neck and shoulders, felt his skin under my own hands as I held onto his back just as desperately as he held onto me. I groaned, wrapping my arms tightly around him as he started to move, thinking I would go insane any second now, so good was this.
As much as I had to concentrate to not come that very second, I first didn't even notice how, with every deep, shaky breath he took, his sighs finally changed to moans with every new thrust.

Oh god.. so good...
My lips where on his throat, and I felt it vibrating with his soft voice, felt his heartbeat strong and rapid.
This was it. No way I could hold out any longer...

I let myself sink back onto the floor as I felt the orgasm take hold of my body, holding onto the pale hips of that beautiful man above me with a fierce grip as if it was the only thing that would hold me in this world in this moment. I felt a deep growl build in my throat, felt my loin tightening, felt his heat all around me, and his soft hair on my face, shoulders and chest as he lowered himself down over me, his hands on either side of my head.

I cried out and arched my back as I came and for a few seconds forgot the world in that pure bliss that he'd brought onto me.

I came to me when I felt him moving erratically over me and noticed that I had, unconsciously, put a hand up against his erection to give him something to thrust against. I closed it around him then, and with just a few more strong strokes he came as well, shaking violently, bending over me, muffling his cry against my shoulder.
He let himself settle onto me, still breathing irregularly and keeping his head down. After some moments he sought out my hand and locked our fingers together. I moved the other to his neck, caressing it gently as we slowly calmed down.

“So, Byakuya,” I whispered after a while, “what's up with you?”
I felt his lips move upwards in a smile against my throat and my wonder even grew.
“So you noticed,” he answered after quite some time, when I already thought he was simply ignoring me.
I chuckled and pushed myself up onto my elbows, making him sit up as well so I could look at him.
“Yeah, ya know... 'tis kinda... obvious?!”

He looked away and then shifted lower, leaving me slightly disappointed as I slipped out of his warmth. He looked down on himself, frowning at the mess that covered both of us, then actually reaching for my shirt. I could barely get a grip on his hand before he actually started wiping himself off with it. Now really, do you mind?!

I pushed myself up so I was sitting straight again, then took him in my arms and kissed him softly.
“Byakuya?” I asked once more and he finally looked back at me again.
He smiled weakly, then pushed his hair away from his eyes with one hand, which he left there then, covering his face. I kept still, trying to be patient, massaging his lower back with both hands.
“I...,” he finally answered hesitantly, “I have the audition, on 20th.”

~~~